“It’s such a beautiful day,” she said, sitting down next to him.
He stared at her. “You think this is a nice day?”
“Yes,” she said. “I do.”
“I finished the book on string theory.”
“Did you like it?”
“It was okay but I think they got a few things wrong.”
“Okay,” she said, putting his food plate in front of him.
“Do you want to know what they got wrong?”
“Not really,” she sighed.
“This is why you’re all going to die,” he said, starting to eat. “You’re all interested in the wrong things. Half of you don’t even think about the fact that the moon is hollow and there’s a base up there with beings who told the astronauts not to come back. They were on the ridge watching them the whole time they were there. They have the astronauts voice on tape saying that but they didn’t tell the public, of course. I mean it’s out now, but it happened all those years ago.”
“So, I brought you another book on Quantum Physics.”
“You know Richard Feynman was mean to women who wouldn’t go out with him. I mean I know you like him and everything but you should know the truth, he wasn’t all about bongo drums and physics.”
“I know that and I don’t like him anymore.”
“He used his fame and power…”
“Can we please talk about something else?”
“Sure,” he said. “Can I have some more food?”
“Of course,” she said, putting more onto his plate.
“You should enjoy your life. This is as good as it’s going to get. It’s always been that way. Each day is the best and youngest you’re going to be and feel.”
“Has anyone, besides me, told you that you’re a truly depressing cat to be around?”
“No. You’re the only one.”
“Then the others are just being nice.”
“Want to talk about the elections? Or if Biden is dead and this is his body double with a mask. An alien, like his weird VP. Look at them. Really good rubber masks. It’s all over Instagram.”
“No. I don’t want to talk about that either, and I thought you weren’t going to look at those things anymore.”
He shrugged. “They’re funny and there are a lot of cats on there. Some old people too, with a lot of ink. If you’re going to get tattoos you should do it now before you’re more wrinkled.”
“MORE wrinkled?”
“I’m just trying to help.”
“You can be a mean cat, you know that?”
“I can never be as mean as humans, you know that, don’t you?”
“How’s the new dog doing?”
“He’s okay. Not out a lot. He said he has it pretty good. His people let him on the furniture and feed him people food once, awhile and there’s just the one little girl, so it’s not so bad. We’ll watch him for another few day and make sure he knows we’re in charge.”
“I’m sure he knows that already.”
“Never hurts to be safe.”
“I have to go the DMV and get my license renewed.”
“Do you want me to come with you? I know those places are bad.”
“No. But thanks for asking.”
“If you change your mind, just let me know. Jinx can take over while I’m gone.”
“That’s very nice of you, but you really need to be here.”
“People hate the DMV.”
“People hate a lot of things but that’s definitely one of them,” she said.
“Bad things are happening to the environment. And if there’s a pole shift, you guys are gone.”
“I know.”
“It’s happened before, maybe five or six times. Then you have to start over again, if any of you are left. No power grids. No anything. Just a handful of survivors, if they’re unlucky enough to have survived. No antibiotics, dentists, food, nothing.”
“You’re just a little ray of sunshine today.”
“That’s what they tell me,” he said, eating the treats she put down. “I’ve been thinking.”
“About?”
“What if you get me a hamster for a pet?”
“No.”
“I’ll name him fuzzy, or jelly bean or something like that.”
“No.”
“James?”
“No.”
“So you’re saying the name doesn’t matter?”
“I will never get a live hamster for you.”
“Now who’s being mean,” he muttered.
“I’m going home. Stop over tonight. I’ll put Puss and Boots on the TV so you can all watch it and have treats.”
“Did you get new catnip mice?”
“I did.”
“‘Good. So, I’ll see you then.”
She leaned forward and kissed him, ran her hands all over him and played with his claws. “I love you,” she said.
“I know that,” he sighed.
“So much.”
“Whatever.”
She picked up her tote bag, kissed him one last time and walked away. He watched her go, then curled up and closed his eyes, ready for whatever dream came his way.
Rethinking Life 
Written
on July 31, 2023