we pretend
that we make choices
that we have control
at least a bit of it
but life is set up
to play with us
like any game
life just laughs
and yells
here I come
READY OR NOT
and we
do what we have to do
in order to
keep playing
Photo: Jon Tyson
Unsplash
life is like a can of spray paint
it just sits there
with all its possibilities
locked inside
until someone
shakes it up
and lets the creativity loose
Photo: Daniel Clay
Unsplash
sometimes
the world feels
dark
threatening
violent
barren
even hopeless
and it pisses me off
because
now and then
I think
it doesn’t have to be
this way
or maybe it does
perhaps
thinking that things
can be
peaceful
nurturing
respectful
of all life
is just another carrot
held in front of me
something
completely
unattainable
one more thing
to show me
that I stubbornly refuse
to accept
that this is simply
what we are
Photo: Dan Wood
Unsplash
So, here’s the thing. Kindness doesn’t cost anything. At least it usually doesn’t. It can be as simple as opening a door for someone. That’s politeness, of course, but it can also be a kind thing to do. No one has to do it, like everything else in life, kindness is a choice.
But also, like everything else in life, kindness, like love, can have many can rules attached to it. How far does anyone’s kindness extend?
Do all living beings deserve kindness? Should one have to deserve kind treatment from others? What does someone have to do, to deserve it? Be like the person who bestows it upon the other?
If every living being deserved kindness, everyone would be a vegetarian and never wear leather. But kindness, like love, doesn’t go as far as the dead animal on a dinner plate. Animal, like people, are not treated with kindness, not even all pets/companion animals.
Prejudice people don’t always treat others with kindness. Conservative, right-wing people certainly don’t. I know that for a fact (sweeping generalization, I know). Men absolutely don’t treat all women with kindness, that’s why women are always working to stop violence against them. Gays are beaten to death because they love someone, others don’t think they should love. How INSANE is that? African Americans are killed in the street by the police who are supposed to protect people.
Well, I could go on, but you get what I’m saying. The point is, all we ever do is TALK, make silly signs, and do more pretending. Everything we do is limited by our beliefs, brain washing, and conditioning.
Love, kindness…all of it, only goes so far. Hate crimes, war, never ending violence…proves that kindness only exists in tiny, personal moments. All the things we go on and on about, are personal things we can withhold, because we truly don’t believe that everyone deserves to be treated kindly. We don’t like everyone, therefore, we doin’t always treat the people we don’t like kindly. People don’t even treat people they say they love, kindly.
Think rapist priests. They are liars, child rapists, and look at what they PREACH and tell others. It’s all lies. You can’t believe part of something when things are that horrific.
We live in a world where our actions do not reflect the things we say we believe in.
We are a species of mixed messages, which can lead to shallow graves for women who dare to go out alone at night.
I have been treated kindly. I have treated others kindly. But, as I said, those are small personal things. Trust isn’t something many can take for granted. It’s too dangerous and all the lies make it more so. Ask the girls who thought going to college would be safe.
If we want to change the world. If we want to make things better, then we have to stop lying and pretending. Humans are not always kind. Humans are very often violent. Look what the russians are doing to the people in Ukraine. Look at what’s actually going on in the world.
WE ARE THE VIOLENCE. It’s us. Us alone. Animals do not start wars or take over other countries. Animals, do not destroy the environment. Everything bad that is happening, is because of us and still, we lie and pretend that kindness and love mean something. That those “thoughts” will bring about change, while the oceans are being polluted, as well as our air and the soil. Climate change is our fault.
And many times kindness is needed to help those who have been abused, violated, damaged by others, because we are a violent species with very few stopping points.
To bring about change, we need to tell the truth. But there in lies the problem. Truth is personal. There is no universal truth. Because of that, we kill and destroy. The truth of Ukraine, is very different from the truth of russia. This is where the problems come in. This is why we can never have peace never have true kindness. This is why hatred and violence exist. Because of ideas and beliefs. Someone always wants to control someone else. Because of that, there will always be conflict. Justifiably so, but peace will be unattainable because of those differences.
Basically, all of our problems stem from power over others and greed. I don’t know how to get rid of those things. I don’t know how to stop all the “isms.” I don’t know why people hate others. I know what they say, I just don’t know how they think. Girl’s can’t be educated, but they can die in child marriages where a man rips them apart. Kindness? No, it’s about WITHHOLDING. Powerful men WITHHOLD from the rest of the world and people suffer and die because of THAT.
We have to look at the big picture, not just our our lives.
I do know that If a person can eat another living being, who has been terrified, tortured, and murdered, then there is no kindness or love in the world. None at all. There’s only levels of cruelty and death of innocents. Maybe people kill animals because they know they are better than we are. I don’t know. Maybe they have no hearts.
We lie to each other and to ourselves. Believing the lies, is what’s killing everything. I don’t think humans will ever wake up. Not unless there’s something in it for them. Apparently, survival isn’t enough of an incentive.
Photo: Thirdman
Pexels
Some of us teach our children to love and to be kind. But our governments, and the world of men, teach them to be killers…how is that okay?
Both pictures: Pixabay
So, the sun gets bigger as it ages. Eventually it will turn into a Red Giant and eat us, but that won’t be for a few billion years and we will evaporate before that , so it’s nothing to worry about. I’m not saying you won’t reincarnate around that time, but it would be silly to do so, unless you’re into the end of days kind of thing.
Anyway, Venus, described as the bully of our universe, could start roaming again, or something could hit Mars and throw it out of it’s orbit, which would screw up all of our orbits and we would die that way.
Sometimes I think we don’t understand how precarious our situation is. The only reason we’re alive is because of the Magnet Field around our planet. The Aurora Bdoriallis shows us what it looks like. Mars lost its protection so it’s a dead, dusty planet. Too small to take care of itself, it lost it’s atmosphere. Nothing to protect it from radiation and solar winds.
Eventually the sun will take all the rocky planets, because that’s just what stars do as they age and die.
Anyway, it seems to me, that while we have the time, we should plant trees and turn the world into a garden. We should LISTEN to the EPA and stop killing ourselves, the animals and the planet, while we still can. I’m not sure if we are just insane, or simply that stupid, but we seem to ignore the things that are right in front of us. We have been TAUGHT to do the things we do. We have been taught not to LOOK at what’s going on around us. We have been CONDITIONED to ignore the fact that everything is dying because the rich want to get richer. We have been taught, all of our life, to NOT ASK QUESTIONS OR THINK FOR OURSELVES.
We need to spend money on trees, not guns. We need to spend money on peace, not war. We need to spend money on habitats for our living neighbors. We need to stop clear cutting forests and fracking. We need to WAKE UP NOW!
We saw the difference in the environment when we were in lockdown. People are sick because of our polluted air. Kids are on inhalers. We do nothing to make things different/better. We need to have representatives who are GREEN. Not these greedy thugs who are so busy controlling women’s bodies, they don’t even know there IS an environment. We need to do a lot of things, if we want to be healthy ourselves and keep our planet healthy as well.
But we won’t. Brainwashings is hard to overcome. We all need rehab, but there’s no one who could run it because they would have been brainwashed as well. I’m a city person, and would die in two days, if I had to farm, or do anything to take care of myself in the wild. But I do know that even the little things we can do, can make things better. Plant butterfly gardens, and plant bee friendly flowers. Support those who plant trees and work to protect our forests and the animals who live in them. Do research and decide where you want your donations to go so they will make a real difference.
If the bees die, so do we. Eight years and we’re gone. Kind of like if the sun shuts off, we will be dead in 8 minutes. I never liked the number 8, maybe that’s why.
So, the truth is, we have nowhere to go. As they say, there IS NO PLAN B. If we don’t take care of the earth and get rid of all the horrendous governments who do nothing but lie and destroy, well, I guess we will get what we deserve.
While we can thought, plant flowers and trees and do what you can. Everything on the earth is innocent, except for US. WE, are the destroyers. Just us. No one else. It’s all on us.
The pyramids have been scientifically studied with everything we currently have. Their insides, the parts we know about, have been drawn, X-rayed, diagramed, and everything else. Science is curious about them, but won’t touch them, for fear of harming them.
If only we could study why violence against women and children, racism, etc., are ALLOWED to exist. But we study bricks, because well, we know what’s important. And, geologists and archeologists don’t really study social problems. No one does. Not really. That’s why nothing changes. That and patriarchy likes things the way they are.
It’s kind of strange that in the Ukraine, entire cities, full of beautiful buildings, THAT CAN’T BE REPLACED, are being destroyed. People and animals murdered, starved and everything else. No one is trying to save them in any way that actually matters. But because the pyramids and their guardian, the Sphinx, are ancient, they must be preserved.
Maybe, when we kill off our species, and the last two people are dying, one of them will say, “Hey, I hope the pyramids are okay.” Lots of things are more important than life.
Would the world go after putin if he was threatening to blow up the pyramids? I wonder. The pyramids are “precious.” Hmmmm what about the people in the Ukraine?
Everyone KNOWS the pyramids/Sphinx are big deals. There are documentaries on them all the time. Any new bit of info is announced and celebrated. The pyramids and Sphinx are ot to be harmed in any way, however. not even chipped. But the people in the Ukraine dying? Cities with gorgeous buildings blown up? Animals and people slaughtered? I guess those don’t count. Not worth enough to protect. Those things are not precious, like the pyramids.
Seems like it would be nice to assign importance to the people and buildings in the Ukraine. I bet if you asked them, after they bury their dead, I mean, they would be willing to blow up the pyramid and the Sphinx, if they could put their country back together and bring back their dead. What do you think. Bricks and stones, or living beings?
Hey, I’m just sayin’.
It’s really simple, at leas to me. Here’s what I think:
I don’t think we are our bodies. I think whatever we are simply inhabits the bodies we have, using the brains to drive the bodies, in order to get the physical bodies to do what we want them to do.
It’s like this. A car just sits there, until we get into it and drive away. Same thing with the body. We get in them, and move them. If the car breaks down, we GET OUT of the car and go someplace else. Same with the body. We aren’t our bodies, we are something that drives them. We simply reside in them. Like people who live in their cars.
Bodies and cars work the same way. They both need someone/thing to get them to move and go where they should go. But the driver isn’t the car. We are NOT our bodies. We are spirit, dots of light, consciousness, whatever you think we are, that simply moves into bodies and use them like cars. If we don’t take care of it, it can break down. We need to feed it/put gas into it, to make it go. But a dead car, or a dead body, is empty. The driver has left the scene of both, and that’s exactly what happens when people we love…die. They just get out and leave. They DON’T ACTUALLY DIE, they just go home, or wherever they go, maybe into another body, but they are not gone. They are OUT of the car/body, they have used to move around, while they were here.
It’s a mistake to think we are our minds and bodies. We don’t know what, or who, we are. I think we are more like cars, than anything else. We stall, break down, stop running, but the driver gets to walk away, even if he/she is killed in a crash. In that case, the car and the body are both empty…the drivers having left them.
This makes perfect sense to me. Some NDE (Near Death Experiences) people have been dead for half an hour. While dead, they see everything around them, even great distances away. They hear what people are saying, see what they’re wearing, all because they have simply stepped out of the body they were using.
We leave when we dream as well. Lucid dreaming, takes us other places. Other places that can often be more real than this life we are living. OBE’s (Out of Body Experiences) do the same thing.
People who have died, as well as people who have been critically ill, often say that while their body is dead, or in a coma, they go in and out of it. Visiting their body now and then, and going other places when they aren’t in their bodies. Because WE CAN DO THAT.
Car, driver. Body, driver. We leave both all the time. In the end, when the body breaks down, or some trauma makes it impossible to stay, we leave for good, but whatever we are, continues to exist. It’s just the shell that’s left behind, car, body. Same thing. We just borrow both for awhile. We borrow both while we’re here…but HERE isn’t the only place there is. We just give up our vehicle in this lifetime, and move on. We get out of our bodies, like we get out of our cars. It’s not over. There’s so much proof, that this is just something for us to do, it’s not all there is.
Oh, one more thing…almost to a person, anyone one who has died, and come back, didn’t want to come back. Wherever we’re from, it’s wonderful, and in spite of the lives those people have here, they did NOT want to come back. Unfortunately, they didn’t have a choice. I guess we made a deal to do certain things and we can’t leave, until we fulfill our contract.
So the people we love are still around us, off having fun, or doing other things that are not here. It’s okay.
The bottom line is that we don’t have to worry about anything. You only die when you’re supposed to and really, we aren’t in charge of what’s going on. Not if something can make you come back when you don’t want to. What that’s all about, we have yet to find out. But some people said they tried holding on to something, in order not to return but nothing they did helped…they just woke up in their bodies. Anyone who dies, is supposed to die. Nothing could have stopped or changed it. They just got out of their cars.
We all come here for different reasons. We forget those reasons, by the time we can talk, but that’s all part of the game we supposedly come here to play. Kind of like Disney Land from Hell. It may not make sense, but when we’re on the other side, it must seem like a good idea to return. So we make plans, jump, then spend our lives asking ourselves how we ended up here. People believe different things, of course, but I’m sticking with stupidity, or boredom. You guys can believe whatever you like.
It’s like having a baby, you might think you’ll NEVER DO IT AGAIN, because having your insides ripped out isn’t really that much fun. But people quickly forget what it was like, unless they have life long side effects, then they’ll remember. But we lie to ourselves and think, hey, it wasn’t THAT bad. Yes, yes it was that bad, for a lot of women, but our brains, and hormones, lie to us, just like everything and everyone else. I mean how else will we keep our murderous species going, right? If we were able to think straight, because our hormones didn’t screw around with us, our species would die out pretty quickly. If you think I’m wrong, look at animals who only mate once a year. Why do you think that is? It’s because once a year their HORMONES kick in and they go nuts, just like us. Unfortunately, our hormones don’t take a break.
The above picture is that of a RUNNER. Someone who finally realizes what she got herself into. She is trying to run as fast as she can, in order to get away from life, or whatever is chasing her, but alas, it’s a losing battle.
There are lots of different categories, but I saw this picture and recognized the symptoms immediately. She’s silently screaming, “RUN, RUN, RUN”, but there’s really nowhere she can go. Once you’re here, there’s only one way out…you have to die.
We come here, and instead of having fun, we make up questions, that have no answers and then spend out time trying to answer the answerless questions while working ourselves to death. We hate each other, kill everything, including ourselves, and now and then, we get to read, have a cup of tea, love a cat, or someone else who doesn’t know why we’re here, and think, Wow! Life is Good. At which point something horrific happens, and you wish you’d never been dumb enough to come here in the first place. It’s a perfect circle.
Oh, sure, some people have “perfect” lives. I don’t happen to know any of those people, but maybe you do. And when the perfect people sometimes kill each other, or get divorced, everyone is surprised, because no one seems to expect perfect people to be…anything but perfect. Definitions of perfection vary.
One of the really insane parts of life, is that we’re just thrown into the pool without swimming lessons. That, along with the rules and lies that try to turn us into whatever someone else wants us to become, kind of takes the FUN out of being here.
So we come here, completely helpless. Unlike a faun, who drops to the ground, gets a few nuzzles, and licks, then gets up and runs with the herd, we just lay there. Can’t see, or hold up our own heads. How embarrassing and pathetic. Really, the other animals must be laughing their asses off. Finally, we roll over. Hard to believe that people get excited over that, but they do. Then we sit up. Ta da. Meanwhile the faun is running around, jumping, playing, and growing. We can sit up. OMG
Eventually we stand and many pictures are taken. It usually takes about eleven months to do that, more or less, depending on how depressed the trapped person inside the body is. The faun is a deer now, or at least a teenager. The baby has people hysterical with joy because it can walk. Video’s, applause and gasps of wonder, even in the face of the billions of people who have done it before, including the people who stare in amazement at the unsteady baby toddling along. I guess that’s a big deal when one considers we started out as a lump of human, but still, look what the deer is doing. The faun was expected to get up and go. It’s a milestone when we get up at all.
So we’re up, and we start to find out what we can and cannot do. We become indoctrinated, conditioned and brainwashed. The deer, just knows to follow the herd, eat grass and dance. We are shoved behind desks and lies are drilled into our heads, about founding fathers and war, flax and other things. The deer has no need to learn about it’s family tree. The deer doesn’t have insane relatives who murdered everyone. The deer, are nice.
Anyway, parents and children often disagree about things, and some parents are sorry they had their terrible kids, other people gush over them and drive them insane, there’s no way to win with teenagers, or parents. Parents believe it’s up to them to run the lives of their children, and children just laugh and do pretty much what they want,, just like their parents did when they were teenagers. Some parents are horrific, some are not.
We “fall” in love, or something we think of as love, and hearts break or, they are carried over a thresh hold. No one can tell anyone what marriage is like. If our parents are the big examples…that can mean battering, hate, cheating, love, kindness, or anything else. Our brains tell us we can handle anything. Until we can’t, or until we just give up and die. Either way, it’s another learning experience, and no two are alike. Why we want to learn any of these things is another question without an answer. Does it make us better people. NO, it does not. Ask yourself…better than what. The deer doesn’t need to be better than it is. It’s perfect. We don’t even know what we really are, but I don’t think we’re perfect in any way at all.
If we find true love, whatever that is, and the other person dies, we often find out that we can actually survive, even if we don’t want to. Life is flat and dull, from then on. No one cares, or understands because we are each locked into our own bubbles.
Our bubbles may bump into each other but we can’t FEEL anything that’s not happening to us personally. If people say they can feel what you’re feeling…they can’t. No one should ever say, “I know how you feel,” because they don’t. It’s not possible. “I think, or can only imagine how you feel,” would be better.
So, you may think you’re going to die young because you hang around with kids who all think they’re going to die young, in car crashes, or gang fights, or just because they can. But you don’t die, and you’re surprised. Or maybe not. Then you wonder what happened to you. Why is the price for not dying, so high? Why do people think you get wiser, or anything else? Why is this place so filled with lies? You ask yourself lots of questions and think back to the time when you never thought you would hit thirty, let alone whatever age you are after that. Thirty, once seemed ancient. Like fossil ancient.
The deer by this time has had fauns of her own, who are off with others, living their lives and not attached to their mother forever. The deer has moved on and her mother has had other fauns who have moved on as well. None of them keep in touch. Like the deer, some parents never see their kids, while others never let them go. Not all parents are nice. Not all kids are nice either. Expectations can ruin lives, so can violence, or any number of things. Some kids die. When that happens, life changes forever. But it’s always changing forever, just not in such an obvious and horrific way.
There are as many different lives as there are people. It’s good to remember that. We only agree on a few things and even then, not always. Like stop lights. We don’t even agree on whether or not killing each other is a bad thing. War is murder, but that sounds bad so they don’t use that word. We do that a lot. Change what we call things, so people don’t get upset. We lie all the time. Secrets are big as well. Secrets and lies go together quite often…between lovers, families, governments, and everyone in the world. Smoke and mirrors.
So, the deer is near the end of her life and so are we. This deer lived a really long time, so just go with it. We can’t be sure she hasn’t been asking herself the same questions we have, but I hope not. I hope she had a nice quiet life, and maybe even killed a few hunters. But, we often go out asking the same thing we asked when we came here…What are we, who are we and why were we stupid enough to come here…AGAIN…when the only thing I learned was, TO NEVER COME HERE AGAIN.
Anyway, the biggest difference between a faun and a baby, besides living outside, he bugs and four legs, is freedom and community. True community. I think the deer and other animals are far more intelligent and caring than we are. Just my opinion, of course. But there are never any strings attached, when one animal helps another. Sure, they might be territorial, but think of Russia and the Ukraine. Humans just slaughter each other, animals never do that. They may fight for food, mates and territory but they don’t dream of take overs and they don’t hate each other. Instinct might make they battle for mates, during mating season, but that’s out of their control. There are a lot of things that are out of our control as well. A LOT. Maybe everything. The beings who program us might just think it’s funny to see us kill each other.
So, from babies to old people, some just work themselves to death, clean, take care of others, and never really understand that we should just stop all that garbage and have a good time while we’re here. Some people figure that out, but they are usually rich, or called bad names. Society calls people names, to keep them in line. We are the heard, after all, the workers that keep the machine running for the rich, so they can do what they want to do, without any bad labels at all. How stupid ARE we? Another question we cannot answer…or maybe we can. Amazingly, incredibly, unbelievable, stupid would be my guess. Working to death for others who sit back and relax? Stupid.
In the end, all that work, years of learning how to hold up our heads, sit, stand, learning how to read…and then it’s all over. We make life so complicated. The deer just lives. I think we forgot how to live. Or we only allow ourselves to live once in awhile. People live on weekends, or two or three weeks a year. Think about that. Who set up the system where rich people don’t work and everyone else does? Does it make sense? For which group of people? For the majority of people, working doesn’t add happiness to their lives. Yet, that’s how their lives are spent…being unhappy because of work they hate.
Anyway, Frida Kahlo isn’t coming back, at least that’s what she said, but I bet she does. She’ll have to start all over, of course. Learn how to sit, stand, speak, but she might have some more paintings to do. I hope she doesn’t come back with cheating, evil Diego. But her choice. He’ll probably follow her, so he can continue to torture her, or maybe he’ll be nice the next time around. Who knows.
As for me, all I want to do is find out how this place got started then kill the thing that made it this way. I’m all about revenge.
Rethinking Life 
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