People once believed there was a man in the moon. They also believed the moon was made of cheese, but that’s neither here nor there. It’s the man we’re interested in. You see, a man never lived in, or on, the moon. No, not even for a little while. A woman was there for a few years, but she moved on because try as she may, flowers simply would not grow and without flowers, well, there was no reason to stay. So the moon was basically just hanging there by itself.
Having said that, a man has always been involved. You see, there’s a kind of repairman, or janitor, if you will, who cares for the moon. He sweeps and makes sure the craters are in order and the things we leave there, when we blast off, go into the Moon Museum of Junk Visitors Leave Behind.
The man doesn’t live on the moon, he lives above it. There are trap doors throughout the universe. When it’s time to care for the moon, which is hollow and made of metal, left where it is by the alien race that made it, the man simply opens the portal and using a special collapsible glider, he floats to the moon and back.
The moon, isn’t empty. It’s filled with humans, other worldly beings, and lots of stuff. There are photographs, which are doctored by the government, that before being touched up, show machines, smokestacks and ships, but we won’t be allowed to see them as they are, only the versions that aren’t real. They fixed the Face on the Moon, so it doesn’t look like a face.
Anyway, I hope this explains the whole Man in the Moon thing once and for all. I mean it’s about time someone told everyone what was going on.