Photo: Alex Person
Photo: Alex Person
“May I?” he asked, sitting down.
“No. You absolutely may not.”
“Excuse me,” she said, waving her hand at the waitperson. “This man is bothering me.”
“What man?” asked the waitperson, looking around.
“He can’t see me,” said the man.
“Oh, sorry. My mistake,” she said, sweetly. “He must have left.”
“Sure,” said the waitperson, moving to another table.
“You just made me look like an idiot,” she snapped.
“You made yourself look like an idiot. I didn’t do anything but sit down.”
“I hate you,” she sighed, gathering her things. “I can do that. Hate you, I mean.”
“Aren’t you going to drink your coffee and eat your croissant?”
She wrapped the croissant in a napkin and shoved it into her bag. She took a sip of her coffee and walked toward the waitperson, handed him some money, and left.
“You might as well listen to me.”
She ignored him.
He kept pace with her and she shoved him off the curb into the path of a car. She kept walking.
“That wasn’t nice.”
“It was for me,” she said, smiling. She shoved him again. This time in front of a bus. “I’m going to keep doing this until you leave me alone.”
“You know you can’t get rid of me,” he said.
“I think I might be able to do it. I’ve been practicing. Energy can’t be created or destroyed, but it can be changed. I think I can change you into something else.”
“I have a message.”
“Tell someone who cares,” she said.
“Why are you always so stubborn.”
“Because I CAN BE,” she said, shoving him hard, into the path of a van.
“I don’t like it when you do things like this.”
She laughed, watching him fall into the path of another bus. “I’m starting to have fun,” she said, pushing him into a man walking toward them. “And when was the last time you didn’t like something at home?”
“No. Go away and never come back, and tell him to not send any more of you.”
“You can’t possibly like it here.”
“You’re right. I don’t like it here, but at least I’m just part of the miserable herd and not a sheep.”
“He loves you.”
“He loves everyone. It’s not a choice for him. No one can think for themselves because of all the love.”
“How is that a bad thing?”
“Fight with anyone at home lately?” she asked, turning toward him? “Think of a single thing you didn’t like?”
“Of course not. Everything is perfect.”
“I rest my case,” she said, starting to walk again. “You’re a good sheep, Mike.”
“What are you?”
He laughed. “People think you’re talking to yourself. That lady is staring at you.”
“I refuse to acknowledge you.”
“I love you.”
“Who cares. You love everyone. It’s like everyone getting a trophy.”
“You’re thinking with your human mind.”
“It’s all I have right now,” she said, pulling the croissant out of her bag. “Too bad you’re not here, because this is delicious.”
“You really are mean,” he said, frowning at her.
“I can be anything I want to be. You can’t.”
“You’re going to die. Then you’ll be back anyway.”
“Look Mikey. Everything is a game and we’re the pawns.”
“I get it,” he said.
“No. Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I don’t get it. It’s not true.”
“I’m sorry I pushed you in front of the truck.”
“Will you come back with me?”
“Will you listen to the message he sent?”
“Just going to be a brat?”
“Nope. I’m just going to be another herd animal in a different game.”
“It’s not like that and you know it.”
“Feels like that.”
“Why don’t you want to live in unconditional love?”
“Lots of reasons. For one thing, there’s no choice and…”
“You have trust issues.”
“Ya think?” she snickered.
“Everyone misses you.”
“Everyone misses everyone.”
“How can you not see the truth?”
“I don’t know. I guess truth is relative.”
“You’re playing this game by yourself,” he said.
“We do everything by ourselves.”
“It’s terrible here, people are tortured. Children are tortured. Animals are slaughtered.”
“There are humming birds, cats, trees and chipmunks,” she said.
“None of those things come even close to what’s at home, and you know it. Well, the cats maybe, but you know everything is more beautiful and amazing at home. Don’t you miss the other planets?”
“Then come back to heaven.”
“I’ll be happy there,” she said softly.
“But it won’t be a choice. Everyone there is happy. You can’t be unhappy.”
“I know,” he said, excitedly. “It’s fantastic. You won’t age, you’ll never get sick and you will be surrounded by unconditional love and the animals you miss, and the people who have gone on ahead.”
She turned toward him again and took his hands in hers.
“I can feel your hands,” he said, staring at her.
“How is that possible?”
She shrugged. “I told you, I’ve been practicing. Just go home, Michael. They need you there.”
“I’m trying to work things out. I don’t have faith, or trust. This time around I just needed to be tough.”
“I don’t want to be a sheep, Michael. Someone is always needed to tend them, just like the herd. I want to be the cow who runs away and starts a free herd of her own.”
“I’ll take you to Pluto again.”
“Thank you,” she said, smiling. “I had a lot of fun, last time, but I have so many questions.”
“He knows that.”
“I know. Talk about no privacy,” she said. “That’s what I mean. Everywhere we exist, we are the underdogs, the pawns.”
“But it’s better to be an underdog in perfection, that it is down here in the worst place there is.”
“If you love someone, and you can stop them from being hurt, and you don’t do that, what does that make you?”
“You know he can’t interfere.”
“Those are the rules.”
“Who made up the rules?”
“Don’t do this,” he moaned. “This is a place to experience any, and everything. No one makes souls come here. They have a choice.”
“Isn’t love supposed to stop suffering, when it can?”
“You come back here by choice.”
“But souls don’t have all the information to make an informed decision,” she said. “If a soul comes to earth to be tortured, but doesn’t know what it physically feels like to be tortured, then their contract is meaningless, since they were not given the information they needed to know what they were getting into.”
“You just can’t stop, can you,” said Michael, sadly.
“You’ve never been human, Mike. You’ve been a sheepdog for your entire existence.”
“I am an archangel, not a sheepdog.”
“If you say so,” she grinned. “Sheepdogs are amazing.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too. Kind of, anyway,” she laughed. Love isn’t the same here. It’s never unconditional, not in the truest sense of the word. A lot of time love is temporary, or even hateful.”
“And you think it’s better here, than it is at home?”
“I’m not sure what I think.”
He nodded. “When you die, I’ll come and get you. Then you’ll be home.”
“And I’ll be happy,” she said.
“I’ll be happy because there won’t be any other choice.”
She pushed him in front of a car.
“That was completely uncalled for,” he said.
“I know,” she laughed. “Completely uncalled for.”
“You’re looking at this whole thing in the wrong way.”
“Probably,” she said. “But you know me. I’m stubborn and suspicious. If people come back here, to make up for what they did last time they were here, then why did they do what they did, last time? Because they didn’t know what they were getting into, is my guess.”
“I don’t know how to make you understand,” he said.
“I know. Neither do I. I felt the love. FeIt the peace. It was wonderful.”
“Then what’s stopping you from coming home?”
“I’m not sure. I think there’s something I don’t get, but I’m close to getting it.”
“You’ve been saved, time and time again. He does save people. He does act. You need to come home.”
“All of that is true,” she said. “But you better get going.”
“You’re going to die soon.”
“It won’t be the first time, or the last,” she laughed.
“They happen all the time,” she said.
“You won’t even notice it, you’ll just be home again.”
“And I’ll be loved unconditionally and happy.”
“Yes,” he said, trying to hug her. “I don’t know why you think there’s something wrong with that.”
“I think there’s something wrong with everything.”
“That’s true,” he snickered. Then he disappeared.
“How long have you been hiding in the bushes?” she asked the gray cat. “Want to come home with me?”
She picked him up, kissed him, and said, “My name is Jane, what’s yours?”
“I don’t have a name,” said the cat. “But I think the guy’s right. You’re looking at things in the wrong way.”
“That’s okay. All is always forgiven and we just run on a hamster wheel of life and death and life and death, forever.”
“I like hamsters,” said the cat. “They taste like chicken.”
“Have you been to heaven?”
“I think so.”
She nodded. “Then why are you here?”
“No idea. You?”
“No idea. None at all.”
Photo: Rizky Subagia
“Are you visiting?” he asked, sitting down.
“I’m working,” she said.
“American. You can always tell. Americans all look happy.”
“Yes. You look at people and your eyes smile. I think I’m already in love.”
“What do you want?”
“I saw all of that in a movie. Makes me seem as if I belong here, doesn’t it?”
“Sure. Now WHAT do you want?”
“I want to tell you that you’re doing a great job in this lifetime. I know it’s not easy, but this is a tough planet. The worst of the lot, actually. Only seasoned veterans incarnate here. Newbies wouldn’t make it. The shock would be too great. All the death and violence. Takes a certain kind of soul to make it all the way to the end.”
“I’ve never really been in a body before. It’s horrible. Feel as if I’m being squeezed to death. But I needed to talk to you. I’ve tried your dreams but you always forget everything I tell you, so I came here, and believe me, I can’t wait to go back,” he said, looking around.
“Who are you?”
“I’m one of you spirit guides.”
“And you’ve never been to Paris before?”
“No. I’ve never been in a body suit before. This is my first time on earth.”
“Sure it is,” she sighed. “Why do I attract all the crazy people,” she muttered.
“They can see your light and they are drawn to it, that’s why.”
“Right,” she said. “People see my light.”
“Yes. It’s pretty bright in this dark place.”
“The sun’s out.”
“Not that kind of dark,” he laughed.
“I just wanted a nice moment with a cup of coffee and a scone. That’s not a lot to ask for, is it?”
“Not at all,” he said. “I just had something and it was weird. I never had earth food and I’m not sure what to think of it.”
“Why are you here?”
“To tell you that something big is going to happen and you need to prepare.”
“Okay. Thanks for the warning.”
“Don’t you want to know what it is?”
“Not really,” she said, putting her napkin on her plate.
“In case you’re wondering, you’re going to get the promotion. He’s going to tell you when you get back to the office. When you go back to New York, you will be in charge of…”
“How do you know about my job?”
“I know everything about you. You’re my charge. I’m your guide, while you’re here. You’re going to meet a guy named Karl. Don’t go with him, wait for Jerry. You’ll have two children with him and be happy. I probably shouldn’t be telling all of this to you, especially when I only came to tell you about…”
She stood up. “I have to go.”
“I don’t know what game you’re playing, but I don’t have time for this.”
“Margo, your cat, just caught a mouse and is bringing into your mother’s house. When your mother wakes up she’ll praise the cat for her hunting skills, but she’ll feel awful about the mouse. It’s nice of her to watch Margo while you’re here.”
She sat down and sighed. “Please tell me what you want and get it over with?”
“I’d like you to pay more attention to your dreams, or just talk to me once in awhile. That way I’ll never have to come here again, and believe me, I don’t ever want to come here again. All of you have serious issues and it smells funny.”
“Can you get to the point? Please, I’m begging you. Tell me and then go away.”
“In your new position, you’re going to have to make a decision about something important. You have to choose the least popular option, for the sake of mankind and the planet.”
“Mankind and the planet, right.”
“You came here to do this, but you’ve been out of touch. Your contract was all about the choice you’re going to have to make.”
“Yes,” he said frowning. “Everyone here signed a contract to do certain things before they came to earth.”
“Of course they did.”
“You don’t believe me,” he said, surprised.
“I do,” she lied. “But I have to go, or I’ll be late.”
“Your father didn’t die of lung cancer, he killed himself, and your uncle, was your grandmother’s love child. Your grandfather suspected, but he loved your grandmother, and he loved Todd, so he never said anything. Your grandmother knew, he knew. Your dog Tippy is waiting for you on the other side. He loves you so much. You hated dolls and kept getting them as gifts. All you wanted were books. Each Christmas was a disappointment, until your brother gave you an entire set of science fiction books. You loved him so much for that,” he said smiling. “He’s waiting for you too. He said not to feel bad about him leaving, he’s really happy and trying his best to watch out for you, but you always were a brat. He said to tell you he was always the favorite. Why are you crying?”
She got up and walked away. He followed.
“Look, I thought you’d be happy to know those things. I didn’t want to make you sad. You know, somewhere inside you, that none of this is real.”
“Then what is it?” she said, turning toward him.
“It’s just one of the many place you can come to raise your vibration level. Earth is the place to do it the fastest, since it’s horrible here. You volunteered to do this.”
“I must have been insane.”
“It probably feels that way, but you were excited about it before you left. You’re disconnected from the source. You’ve forgotten too much. Ask me for help, when you go to bed, or when you have a quiet moment. I’ll be there for you. Cover yourself in white light and protect your inner self. Remember, if you can. I promise I’ll help.”
“Okay,” she said.
“Okay?” he asked.
“I can go, then?”
“Yes. I’ll think of you before I go to sleep.”
“I’ll be waiting. And you might want to call your mother and tell her you’re sorry about the mouse.”
He smiled, then slowly faded from sight.
Photo: Ron Lach
I wanted to write a poem
about a lovely
in a sky full of stars
a planet teeming with life
in it’s beauty
but then I realized
I would be writing a dream
for while the lovely blue planet
was truly spinning in a sky full of stars
diversity was hated
and so was life
weren’t just destroying
they were destroying the planet
and few seemed to care
and wake up calls
but people turned a blind eye
to the obvious
lived in denial
or a world of lies
and still the planet
spun through a sky
filled with stars
that was never
never loved enough
or cared for
a planet that met all of our needs
but was ravaged and pillaged
poisoned and starved
while the few shouted
and held up their pictures
showing the destruction
and the many did nothing
while a powerful few
danced on the
money held tightly
on a planet
but turn things
in it’s never ending quest
Photo: Zac Wolff
Sept/Oct issue 2021
Photo: Markus Spiske