Art and the philosophy of life

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The Conversation…

Cat, Pet, Animal, Tabby Cat

“You look better today,” he said, rubbing his face against the concrete ledge.

“Thanks, I guess.”

“You’ve been looking tired and…”

“I know.  You’ve been telling me.”

“Just trying to help?”

“Is that what you think you’re doing?”

“Of course,  What do you think I’m doing?”

“Never mind,” she said, giving him a plate full of food.

“So what’s going on in your world?” he asked, daintily eating a chunk of cat food.  “Other than mass murders and wars?”

“Food prices,” she said.  “Soon people won’t be able to afford to eat.”

“You realize you’re being scammed, right?”

“Add that to the price of gas and things aren’t looking good for a lot of people.”

“You guys just can’t stop destroying yourselves.  Cats are so much smarter than you are, and we get to nap as much as we want to.”

The rabbits ate the flowers that were just ready to open.  My garden has too many empty stems now.”

“I can take care of that problem for you.”

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Just trying to be helpful, AGAIN.”

“Thanks anyway.”

“I think I figured out what’s wrong with your species.”

“I can hardly wait.”

“You all feel terrible and inadequate, because you can’t fly, dig, jump, run, hear, see, smell, forage, or…well, actually you can’t really do anything.  You see the rest of us doing amazing things and you recognize what losers you are, so you take out your disappointment and anger on each other, because you’ve already killed almost everything else.”

“That’s what you think?”

“Am I wrong?” he asked, stretching out on his side.  “You copy us all the time. You make wings, because you don’t have any of your own.  You jump over things, climb with ropes, and run around, all because you see us doing things you can’t even think of doing, without help.  It has to be hard being so…helpless.  And you give each other awards and medals for doing what comes naturally to the rest of us.”

“We really are kind of pathetic without tools and all kinds of things to help us get along.”

“Exactly.  You need the right temperature, the right this and that, to even survive.  You’re deadly, sure, but as far as surviving with just you natural ability, I don’t think so.  If you were naked in the outback, whatever that is, what would you do?”

“Die?”

“Most definitely.  A pocket knife and a stick won’t help you there.  Cats wouldn’t be stupid enough to go there in the first place.”

“Neither would I.  I know some of my limits,” she said.

“Not all of them?”

“Not all of them have come up yet.”

“I guess I can understand that,” he said, nodding.

“I must mention that you guys do a lot better when we take care of you.”

“That’s often true,” he said.  “My point is, that we are all better than you are surviving on our own without any tools, or things.  We don’t even have pockets.  We just are.  And yes, we can’t all eat chocolate but you can’t kill something and just rip it to shreds and eat it raw.”

“I can’t believe you just said that.”

“Which part?”

“The raw thing.”

“You do realize that you kill and tear people and animals apart every single day, don’t you?You might not eat the people, but you’re more vicious than any of us and you kill other animals way more than we every COULD. We kill to survive, not for power, fun or greed.  We don’t KEEP killing after we have what we need.  You just kill and keep killing until nothing is left.”

“Why do we always end up here.  Talking about ugly things?”

“Because your species, makes the world an ugly place.

“Why don’t you have a girlfriend?”

“What?” he asked, staring at her.

“A girlfriend.  A girl cat.  Why don’t you have one?”

“I have a lot of them.”

“Not just one.”

“Why would I have just one?”

“Okay, then.  Have you been blogging?”

“A little.  When the cat’s people go out.”

“Do you have any followers?”

“All the cats follow me.”

“No, I mean followers on line?”

“I can’t see the people on line.”

“That’s true,” she said, not wanting to push the issue any further..

“What are you going to do about the supremes?”  he asked.

“Not sure.  It’s a work in progress.”

“Well, as long as you’re working on it.  Are you still thinking about getting dual citizenship with Italy?”

“Maybe.”

“You don’t have a lot of answers, do you.”

“No, I guess not.  Things are in flux.”

“Is that like flax, just with a different vowel?”

“Not even close.”

“I’m tired.”

“And I’m rushed.  So,” she said, kissing him.  “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Okay.  A lot of us will be there.  We’re having a meeting.”

“At my place?”

“Yes, so get lots of food and treats, and a couple of catnip mice would be nice.”

“I’ll stop on the way home,”

She kissed him a few more times, petted him until his eyes closed, they crept away, smiling.

 

 

 

 

 

The Conversation…

Cat, Pet, Animal, Tabby Cat

“Wanna know what I think?” she asked.

“Do I have a choice?”

“Sure, life is all about CHOICES!”

“OKAY, OKAY, tell me,” he said, licking his side.  “Jeeze, just chill out.”

“EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.”

“I know, I just said it.  And it was easy, like all the other words I say.  There’s nothing at all wrong with my vocal cords.”

“What do you know about vocal cords?”

“I sat in on some medical classes at Northwestern a few semesters ago.”

“What else do you know about?”

“Lots of things.  I know you need to create a new government that speaks for ALL OF THE PEOPLE.  You have a government that’s fighting between themselves for power, one side hates women, and can just pass any laws they want to pass, regardless of what the majority of people want.  Your government doesn’t CARE about the people, who pay them.  They are supposed to work FOR you.  They pass laws that cause untold suffering, misery, injury, poverty and death.  And they get away with it.  You could always pull out of the u.s. and make a new government that will actually represent the people who live here.  No one says you have to be part of the other states.  Remember when California was going to pull out?  Then they found out they wouldn’t have federal funding, police, firepeople, or anything else and they backed down.  You need to have money to leave, but I bet you could do it.  You could be a small country, lIke in Europe, where a lot of the countries are right next to each other.  That seems like the way to go, then the republicans would have no power over any of you and you could live in peace.  Now what did you want to tell me?”

“You pretty much said it all.”

“Well, I didn’t say it all.  Not even close.  But that’s the gist of things, except for the fact that women are prisoners and can’t even leave the state to go to safety, without being labeled a felon, so they can never vote again, and be put into jail, leaving their kids motherless.  I mean, I didn’t say that part.”

“Until now.”

“Yes.  Until now.  You’re the only species that hunts itself and kills everything, even women, who are the ONLY people making other people on the entire planet.  They want you to die, you know that, right?”

“Of course, I know that.  If they didn’t, they’d stop the violence against us, instead of making more of it.  When the people in power hate you, violence is how they keep you in line.  They do the same thing to people of color.”

“I’d tell you to move to another country, but then that would cause problems for the cats you take care of.”

“Right,” she said, smiling.

“I mean, you won’t just leave us, will you?”

“No, I won’t.”

“I don’t think you could take all of us to Canada, or Paris, or Sicily, could you?

“I strongly doubt it.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“Were you worried?”

“Not me.  But Tommy said you’d probably desert us because that’s what humans do.”

“The majority of humans love animals and would never desert them.”

“Where do you think a lot of the cats around here came from?  They were no longer convenient, so they were thrown out.”

“Please don’t make me feel worse than already I do,” she said, softly, covering her face with her hands.

“I’m just sayin’ that people can never be trusted.”

“That’s true.”

“Why isn’t anyone else writing about choice, except for Brian?  That’s his name, right?”

“Yes, that’s his name.  And I don’t know.”

“Why are you always the one who’s fighting?  Don’t you wonder about that?”

“No, I don’t wonder about that.  It’s who I am, and always have been.”

“I feel the same way,” he said, holding his chin up for scratches. “I never doubt myself and I know who I am.”

She kissed him and rubbed her face against his neck.  “That’s good, because as long as you’re true to yourself, you don’t have to ever worry about anything.”

“Yeah, I never worry.”

“And you have a good team you can count on, with Jinx and the others.”

“They do a great job, and remember that new cat I was telling you about?”

“Yes.”

“She doesn’t want to be rescued.  She said she’s happy where she is, but she’d like other cats to visit her on the windowsill, when they have time.”

“That’s nice.”

“A couple of the others have stopped by.  Said she’s nice.”

“Good.”

“The people she lives with never let her out.”

“I can understand that.”

“I guess,” he said.  “It is dangerous on the street.”

“For everyone.”

“Did you know that in Saudi Arabia they just cut the head off a six year old boy, in front of his mother, because of their religious beliefs?  What’s wrong with you humans.  No other animal would ever do anything like that.  We don’t have religious beliefs because they are poison and kill six year olds and those priests…”

“I’m going home.”

“Too much bad stuff.”

She nodded.

“I saw a bee today.”

“She stared at him.

“You like bees, right?”

She stared at him.

“I’m trying to be nice.”

“I’ll see you tonight,” she said.

“What about my kisses and I love you’s?”

“What about them?” she asked, turning toward him.

“Aren’t you going to give them to me?”

“No,” she said, and walked away.

“It’s not my fault you guys make the world so ugly.”

She sighed and went back to him.  “You’re right.  It’s not your fault.”  So she kissed him and told him she loved him and ran her hands over his sweet body.

“Okay.  You can go now and I’ll see you tonight.”

 

 

 

 

 

The Conversation…

Cat, Pet, Animal, Tabby Cat

“You look…flat, like all the air has been let out of you,” he said, biting his paw.

“That’s exactly how I feel.”

“”I noticed that you had the Umbrella Academy on your tv last night. New episodes?”

“Yes.”

“It’s a weird show.  I like that Klaus guy.”

“He’s my favorite, for sure.  Love him, especially in earlier episodes with his hair short.  Did you like the program?”

“Yes, but there were no cats in it so…”

“That’s true.  It might have been a better program if there were cats in it.”

“Every program would be better if there were cats in it.”

“I’m getting all kinds of TikToks about choice.  All excellent.”

The republican party is really stupid,” he said, licking his plate.

“They are.  Their also hateful, mean, deceitful, vicious…”

“Yes,” he said, “I know. That thomas dude, the sexual predator on the supremes, needs to go and take the rest of the supremes with him.”

“That would be a happy day for sure.”

“Bad guys get away with everything.  The lie every time they open their mouths.  Cats don’t lie.”

“That’s true,” she said.  “I’ve never had a cat lie to me.”

“We’re very honest.  We have nothing to hide, most of the time.”

“Most of the time?” she said.

“It’s more of a don’t ask don’t tell thing.  You know how you are with birds and stuff.”

“Big corporations and businesses are supporting women and their right to have safe abortions,” she said, immediately changing the subject.   “That’s never been done before.  Still hard to believe.  No one ever supported, especially men.”

“We’ve come a long way, and with social media,” he said, “the bad guys can’t hide what they’re doing anymore.”

“Biden had bills that would have stopped price gouging on gas, would have helped the formula shortage and any number of things, but the republicans blocked every single one of them and now they are running on the very platforms they shot down, because they are a bunch of lying terrible excuses for human beings.”

“I know.  I saw that guy talking about it.  They wouldn’t let Obama do anything either.  They are truly detrimental to the heath of the country.”

“Did you see the video by the 40 year old, former unwanted fetus, who had been sexually abused in the orphanage and the 15 foster homes she had been sent to?  She was tortured and terrible things were done to her and she kept asking WHERE WERE YOU PRO LIFERS?  She said she wished they had let her mother abort her. And the people who said they would care for her (and the others), the pro lifers, lied.  They NEVER SHOWED UP.  And they never do.  More lies.  They just want to control the lives of all women and keep them from competing with them.  They want them poor, desperate and overwhelmed with things they don’t want.  Hateful, but then they are hateful.”

“I did see that,” he said.  “I felt really bad for her.  Cats are okay with having kittens because we’re beautiful and perfect.  No matter how many of us there are, we just make everything better.”

“That’s true.  You do make everything better, but you can also fall on hard times.”

He looked away and was quiet for a minute.  “Yes, that’s true.  Humans can be very cruel.”

“Humans ARE cruel.”

“Do you feel bad about being a human?” he asked.

“Yes, but I don’t know how to be anything else, and no, I didn’t get my DNA read, so I don’t know if I have any cat in me.”

“You really shouldn’t put that off.”

“The thing is, your kittens grow up quickly and have their own lives, human babies sometimes never leave nowadays.

“Did you know that the number one cause of death for pregnant women, is murder?”

“I did not.”

“Men are never punished for what they do.  Rapists walk away, so do a lot of husbands, and women are left to deal with whatever they leave behind.”

“You need sleep and chocolate.”

“I had a brownie, a half a box of chocolate cookies and a fudge bar.”

“When?”

“Before I came here.”

“I hate to say it, but I think you need more.”

“I was up until after two this morning, then I was up early, went for a walk, then to the store and ran errands, so i’m a little tired.  The rage I’ve been feeling for the past few days, about the icky republican dickhead, didn’t help either.”

“Did you just call them dickheads?”

“Maybe.”

He rolled over laughing.

“I asked you not to laugh like that.  It’s just really weird.”

“I can’t help it,” he gurgled.

“And no gurgling, either.  It’s unseemly for a cat to do those things.”

“Too funny,” he sighed, coming down from his laughter.  “You don’t usually say things like that.”

“No. I usually say things that are a lot worse, you just don’t hear me.”

“So,” he said.  “What’s next?”

“Thanking the companies that are helping us and getting people to vote.”

“Can I vote?”

“No.  You have to have two pieces of identification with your address on them.”

“Can’t you fix that up for me?”

“Uh…maybe,” she whispered.  “After all the republicans have dead people and pretend people vote, so why not a cat?  I can give them my address, I suppose, since you’re there most of the time.  I can hold you up so you can mark the ballot.”

“Do you think that will work?”

“Probably not, but the politicians have done a lot worse.”

“Have you ever though about opening a restaurant for cats?”

“I have not,” she said.  “Cats don’t have any money, and I think that my feeding all of you everyday is already like a deli delivery service.”

“Money?”

“Someone would have to pay for the food.  Would you want tiny tables too?”

“Yes, that would be nice.”

She snickered and hugged him.  “I love you so much.”

“I know,” he said.  “You tell me all the time.”

She kissed him, ran her hands all over him and asked about Jinx.

“He’s good,” he said.  “He said to say hello.  He’s busy, since it’s summer and the cats tend to be out in the open more often. They are playing in the park a lot.  It’s dangerous, so he keeps an eye on them.”

She kissed him again and again, squishing him as she did so.

“I can’t breath when you do that,” he said.

“Too bad,” she said, hugging him again.  “See you tonight?”

“Sure, and be careful crossing the street, there’s a lot of traffic today.”

 

 

The Conversation…

Cat, Pet, Animal, Tabby Cat

“I’ve been thinking it, and it seems as if putin would make a perfect supreme court judge.  He wants everyone dead, he’s heartless, controlling, mean, cruel, he hates everyone who doesn’t agree with him, he doesn’t care what the overwhelming majority of people want, he’s an epic liar, he doesn’t care who he kills, because he’s never involved with the end result of his choices, and he’s just plain evil.  He’s ready made for the supreme court of america.  They’d welcome him with open arms and lots of guns.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” she said, giving him treats.  “He’s as evil as the supremes.  No one should have a job for life.  Two years max and then they go directly to jail where they can die, for crimes against the people.”

“Cats are all about freedom.”

“I know.”

“You guys are broken.”

“I know that too.”

“Why don’t they ever get shot?” he asked.  “Why do regular people, and kids in school die, but not the people in power?”

“Body guards.”

“Ah, so they don’t have to worry about the unjust laws they pass, because the laws you all live under don’t touch them.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Witch burnings next?”

“Probably closer than you think.”

“They want you dead.”

“Well, their wish is going to come true very soon.  They’ll never stop abortions from taking place, they’ll just need more graves and orphanages.”

“The opening chapters of the Handmaid’s Tale.”

“Definitely.”

“Women should get sterilized.  That would depopulate the over crowded earth and keep them alive.”

“It would.  At least until they did the witch thing and burned them to death.”

“Yeah, but still, it’s an option.”

“It is,” she agreed.

“Your civilization didn’t last very long.”

“No.  It did not. Couple hundred years and now we are over.  Laughing stocks and a cautionary tale.”

“Women should leave here while they can.  Because there’s nothing stopping the supremes from writing a law that states that women can no longer travel.  You guys really screwed up.  But so did the Egyptians and all the other once supposedly great civilizations.  america is finished.  Now, it’s just a country with all the guns and no freedom.”

“Yes.  That’s exactly what it is.”

“Look what they did yesterday.  Now you can carry concealed weapons in crowds in New York.  Maybe enough kids weren’t killed for he supremes.  How many bodies do you think it will take for them to act on gun control?” he asked.

“There aren’t enough bodies to offset the money they’re probably getting form the gun lobbyists.  They care about money and power, not dead kids.  They only care about cells inside a woman’s body.  They don’t care if the kid is killed once it’s been forcibly born.”

“Humans make me so happy to be a cat.  Everyday I wake up and I’m so grateful that I’m not one of you.”

“I get that.”

“It’s as if you’re all hypnotized, or rats in a maze.  Sleepwalking, or brain dead.  Something is really wrong with you as a species.  Look at all the deaths, suffering and misery this law will cause, and no one stops them.  It’s been like that throughout your entire history.  How can you let a few idiots control your entire lives?  THEY tell you what to do every second, of everyday and you do it.  You’re all pretty pathetic.  You know that, don’t you?”

“I do know that.  Yes.”

“And?”

“And, I’m going home.”

“To make a plan?”

“No.  To get ready for when you all come over tonight.”

“Maybe we can help you make a plan to overthrow the supremes?”

“I love you.”

“I know, but that won’t save you.”

“Nothing will.  When someone wants you dead bad enough…and they have all the power, it’s never ending.  We fought for so long…so many years of our lives were spent working to get an ERA passed, to keep Roe vs. Wade alive, and now, they just said.  NO.”

“You should take a nap.”

“I’ll see you tonight,” she said, kissing him.  “I have new treats.”

 

 

The Conversation…

Cat, Pet, Animal, Tabby Cat

“I saw your blog yesterday.”

“And?”

“You used a bad word,” he said, licking his tail.

“Did not.  Bad words are relative.  What’s a bad word to one person, isn’t a bad word to another.  Some words that are considered bad are simply…descriptive.”

“You do realize that a lot of people can’t tell the difference between rage and hate.”

“Sure.  But they’re nothing alike,” she said.  “Where did you see my blog?”

“A lady down the street was looking at it.”

“How did you know it was mine?”

“She was scrolling down and I just knew?”

“Okay, then.”

“I was going to start blogging,” he said.  “A cat blog, and everything, but I tried typing, and it didn’t work out.”

“Why not?”

“My paws kept hitting two or more keys at the same time.  It looked like a code.”

“I can see where that would be a problem.”

“Some people think you hate men.”

“I don’t hate men.  I had one of my own, had a son, three nephews and two grandsons, so that’s ridiculous.  I didn’t even count my friends.  The men who say that just get angry, or frustrated because I don’t agree with them and defer to their imagined brilliance.  I’ve worked way too long and hard to put up with that stuff anymore.  I don’t hate anyone, I’m just furious.”

“Yeah, some men don’t like it when women don’t worship at their feet and listen to their every word. I was reading books on business and divorce,” he said.

“Why would you ever read those books?”

“I was listening to someone’s audio books, actually.  She lives over there in the two-flat.  She has a cat and I think she’s more angry than you are.  Her cat’s name is Gorgon.  She’s gray with white patches.”

“I like her already.”

“The person, or the cat?”

“Both,” she said.  “Men call women all kinds of names when we don’t do what they want us to do.  Ice queen, bitch, man hater…it’s funny that with all the violence against us, they never call it woman hating, even though that’s what it is.”

“Life isn’t fair.”

“No.  It is not.”

“I mean look at dogs.  They get a park where they can play.  Cats don’t have a play area.”

“If they did, would any of you go there?”

“No.  Of course not.  Why would we?  We can go anywhere we want to go.  We don’t have to be leashed, or caged in with a fence.  But still, they could give us something.”

“Like what?” she asked.

“Mmmmm, I’m not sure.  I guess I’ll have to think of something,” he said, finishing off his treats.

“A man killed the guy who raped his daughter and the charges were dropped.  That’s happened before.  A women, this took place a few years ago, beat the rapist that was on top of her daughter and they arrested her.  Women are not allowed to fight back.”

“You need to arm yourselves and make your own army.”

“No gonna happen.”

“Why not?”

“It’s just not.”

“Well, then I don’t know what to tell you.”

“There are a lot of things we could do, it’s just that getting people to do things as a group, is practically impossible.  Women are also afraid.”

“Yeah, that’s a problem.  We had a cat who was terrified of everything.  We had to watch over him all the time.  Everyone gave him positive reinforcement and now he’s fine.  He’s still not the bravest cat I’ve ever met, but he’s as normal as he can be.  It took awhile and a lot of effort, but we did it.  There’s a nest of bunnies over there, in the back yard.”

“Can I see them?”

“I’m sure you can, since you have eyes, but if you mean can you go their nest, then no.  You’ll scare them and we are protecting them.  Sort of, if you know what I mean.  Some cats think we should eat them.”

“OMG!”

“Hey, it’s in our nature, look at all the things you guys kill, including each other.”

“You’re right.  We do kill everything.”

“How about what’s happening in Ukraine?  Lots of dead people there, killed by other people.  Other animals don’t do those things.  We might hunt in packs but we don’t start a war because we don’t like someone.”

“You’re right, again”

“I’m always right.  You even said so yourself.”

“I have to go.”

“Did you get the bad person off your blog?”

“I did.”

“Where are you going?”

“Shopping for when you all come over tonight.  I have new catnip, by the way.”

“Nice,” he said, head butting her.  “That doesn’t make you a drug dealer does it.”

“It’s catnip, so no.  Besides, I only give you a tiny bit.”

She kissed him and petted him.  Told him she loved him over and over, until he laid down and closed his eyes.  Then she quietly walked away.

“Watch out crossing the street,” he whispered, and she smiled.

The Conversation…

Cat, Pet, Animal, Tabby Cat

“At least today’s temperature isn’t the same as it is on the sun,”

“It’s never been that hot,” she said.  “The planet would melt.”

“Felt like it.”

“A friend of mine, who lives in a horrible red state where they have a trigger law waiting to ban all abortions, no exceptions, said doctors went before their state government.  They had to EXPLAIN about pregnancy and fetal anomalies. The politicians didn’t even know what the doctors were talking about, and had to ask for definitions of the words the doctors were using.   And these idiots are passing laws about something they know absolutely nothing about.  Passing laws that will kill women.  Anyway, they had “christian women” come in and explain about fetus anomalies and after listening to them and the doctors, they thought it wasn’t nice to have women carry a fetus who couldn’t possibly live, to term, so they made an exception for that.  Abortions will be a crime, punishable by ten to fifteen years in prison. IDIOTS.  And THEY GET TO SAY WHAT HAPPENS TO US!”

“Calm down, you’re scaring the cats.”

“I am not.”

“You are too.  Blackie and Brian just ran behind that tree.”

“Sorry,” she said.

“You do know that name calling doesn’t get you anywhere.  It’s childish and crude, even if the names are true.  People won’t take you seriously.”

“Don’t care.  Makes me feel better.”

“In that case, have at it.”

“Thank you,” she said, grinning at him.

“You need to get rid of the biased and hateful supremes.”

“We need to get rid of a lot of things,”  she said, giving him more treats.

“How’s the war going?”

“I haven’t watched the news in days. The last time I did, it came on after three other stories.  Apparently other things are taking its place.”

“How is that possible?”

“No clue.”

“You don’t really know very much, do you?”

“I don’t know how to answer that.”

“This is the beginning of the apocalypse.  I don’t really mind, as long as there’s enough food for cats.  May we live in interesting times.”

“I’d like the meet guy who said that,” she growled.

“An American politician named, Fred Coudert said it in 1939.  You can’t talk to him because he died in 1955 and he was a republican.”

“Gak!”

“Fur ball?”

“No.  Republican,” she said.

“Same thing.”

“I’m SO ANGRY.”

“I haven’t noticed, but apparently Mitzie did, since she just ran under a bush and is peeking out at us.”

“I’M SORRY MITZ.  COME HERE AND GET SOME TREATS, BABY.”

“Seriously?  You think she’s going to come over here with you yelling at her?”

“I had a pizza and a twist cone today.  Delicious.  I didn’t eat them at the same time, of course.  And I’m reading a book on brains.”

“Did they tell you a cat’s brain is so much better than yours?”

“No yet.”

“You’ll see it when you get to the chapter on superior brains.”

“I don’t doubt it, although dolphins will be right up there with you.”

“I don’t think so,” he said, eating the last of his food.  “Crows are pretty smart though.”

“I know.”

“They can recognize people, solve problems and…”

“I know.  I wish they made up the supreme court.”

“They’d probably pass a bill for better trees and fewer of you guys.”

“I’d vote for that.”

“Sunday is father’s day.”

“I know.”

“Some male cats don’t stick around.  Cats are pretty independent.  The Queens take care of the kittens and when they grow up, everyone moves on.”

“Cats are better than people.”

“We should have t-shirts made up with that on the front.”

“We?”

“Okay, you should have t-shirts made up with that on the front.”

“Black with white letters?”

“Sure, why not.  Cats are colorblind anyway, but they do have glasses to fix that.  I saw a video of a cat who lived with a person who did glasses and eye things and she put the anti-colorblind glasses on her cat and he loved it.  Wouldn’t let her take them off.”

“I can only imagine how he felt, seeing all those colors.”

“I don’t know what the colors look like.”

“There’s no way to explain colors without using colors as a description.”

“Maybe you could get some glasses for us.”

“I think they were experimental, but I can check.”

“Ok.  I’d like that.”

“Do you want to see the brain book tonight?”

“Sure.”

“Lots of pictures and fun things.”

“A fun brain book?”

“Yes,” she laughed.  “A fun brain book, if you don’t count the depressing parts.”

“You know that all the kittens in a litter aren’t necessarily from the same father, don’t you.”

“No.  I didn’t know that.”

“I have a lot of kittens, so does Jinx.  We are the leaders and we’re strong, so the Queens want that for their kittens.”

“Makes sense.”

“But they don’t only mate with us.”

“Okay.”

“I’m telling you because it doesn’t matter to us, we take care of all of them, because that’s what good leaders do.”

“It’s what they should do.”

“Dogs take care of cats and puppies and goats and lambs.  Pretty much anything that breathes.  We do a little of that, just not as much.  Sometimes the Queens bring their kittens to a Golden, or another nice dog, to keep them safe and warm while they hunt.  Dogs aren’t that bad, you know.”

“Yes.  I know.”

“You can show me the book tonight.”

“Okay,” she said, cleaning up.  “I’ll get snacks for everyone.  It’s going to be light for a long time, so just come over whenever all of you are ready.”

“I’m going to sleep now.”

“I can see that,” she said, kissing him.  “You’re so soft.”

“Thanks.  I take care of myself.  It’s part of my job as leader.”

“I love you.”

“I know.”

“See you later.”

“Be careful crossing the street.”

She snickered and walked quietly away.

 

 

 

 

 

Tne Conversation…

Cat, Pet, Animal, Tabby Cat

“That was a bad storm.  Thunder, lightening and tornado warnings.  Ginger was caught outside and got well and truly soaked.”

“I just finished watering the flowers when it broke.  It wasn’t supposed to rain.”

“Yeah, and still, the weather people get paid,” he said.  “I’d like a cushy job like that.”

“You want to be a weathercat?”

“Sure, why not?”

“Do you know where all the states are on the map?”

“I know where some of them are.  I know where Florida, New York and California might be.”

“I think you need to know all of them.”

“Then I better not do it.  Sounds like a lot of work and who cares where the states are anyway?  I was thinking more of a local weathercat.”

“Do you know where the neighborhoods are?”

“What neighborhoods?”

“I rest my case.”

“Are you a lawyer?”

“You know I’m not a lawyer.”

“Just checking.  And by the way, do you think all the dead Ukrainians will be able to use the weapons everyone is sending them that aren’t getting there?  Do you people not understand that you need to be alive to use them, if they ever magically appear? And do you know that the tiny twisted man will just move to the next country when he’s finished leveling that one?  And why is it that people went insane because they had to wear masks, screaming that, “It’s a free country and I can do what I want with their bodies,” when they won’t let women have safe abortions?  I guess female bodies are owned by the state.  But at least you won’t have to wear a mask, while you’re bleeding out,  because it’s your body and you live in a free country.”

“Why do you do this to me everyday?”

“Do what?”

“I keep telling you I can’t do anything about what’s going on.”

“Well, that’s why nothing changes.  Because everyone feels that way, so no one does anything.”

“That’s not true…we…”

“Don’t tell me about the marches.  Those don’t work anymore.  Those are just business as usual.  Not one republican cares if all of America marches.  They’d just kill you and then boss their followers around, while they continued to fight each other for more power and senate seats.”

“The vet was here and said everyone looks good. She’s treating Butch’s torn ear and White Tail’s paw.”

“Good.  I think his paw is almost healed.”

“That’s what she said.”

“You segue a lot.  Don’t think I don’t know it.”

“You make me tired.”

“Do you want to take a nap?”

“More than you can ever imagine, but I don’t nap.  Even if I did, I’d wake up to the same world.”

“First of all, the fact that you don’t nap, explains a lot.  And second, there’s always the possibility that alien cats will land, while you’re asleep, and take all of us to another dimension where everything is like a meadow, with birds, and voles and…”

“What do you know about meadows?  Have you ever seen a meadow?”

“Never been out of the city.”

“You would hate being in a meadow.”

“Maybe.”

“No maybe about it. You’re a city cat through and through.”

“You’re probably right.  And I think I would be allergic to the weeds and things.”

“Seriously?”

He nodded.  “Cats can have allergies.”

“I know that.”

“So?  How are you going to save the world?” he asked.

“I’m not.  I tried to save it for years and now the republicans are undoing everything we worked for, so screw it.  Unless we get rid of the men in charge, we’re finished as a nation.”

“Do you believe that?”

“I do.”

“Are you going to move to another country?”

“I doubt it.  Who would want Americans anyway?  Everyone hates us.”

“If you moved, you’d have to take all of us with you.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“What do you mean, you didn’t know that?  You’d just leave us here?  Who would feed us and stuff.  Besides, you’re the only human who speaks cat.”

“Really?”

“How many people do you think speak cat?”

“Probably not a lot.”

“Ya think?”

Jinx screamed, from down the block.

“Gotta go,” he said, taking off.

She watched him race down the street, then saw both cats duck between two buildings.  She wouldn’t find out what happened until they all came over later, so she packed up her things and left, hoping everything would be alright.

 

 

The Conversation…

Cat, Pet, Animal, Tabby Cat

“Why are you so late?”

“I was in Old Irving Park, visiting my cousin.”

“But you’re late.”

“I was walking around, looking at all the gigantic houses that are taking the place of the houses and apartments we grew up with.  The new ones are gorgeous, but the neighborhood isn’t even close to what it used to look like.  It’s like history is being erased, one house at a time.  There are a couple of two-flats and a few Chicago bungalows left but, mansions are taking over.”

“But you were late.”

“I had a good time.  Thanks for asking.  There were bunnies in her yard.  They’re are eating all her veggies and plants, so she’s not happy.”

“I can take care of that problem for her, you know.  Free of charge.”

“I’ll ignore that.

“It’s still true.”

“It’s going to be really hot next week.”

“I heard.”

“You can all come and stay with me in the air conditioning.”

“I’ll tell everyone,” he said, head butting her shoulder.

“Okay.”

“I figured out a way to sidestep that whole Roe vs Wade thing,” he said, licking his back paw.

“Oh, good.  Tell me.”

“Stop having kids.”

“They’ll outlaw all birth control.”

“Duh.  You’ll have to stop mating.  If you stop having kids, you’ll eventually die out and there won’t be any girls to rape, beat, kill or control.  Once the men only have each other to rape, beat and kill,  you guys will have solved the problem.”

“You mean extinction?”

“Better than being under the boot of the republican men.  Are you sure the word is republican and not reptilian?  I mean they are close, and it is possible they are the lizard aliens everyone talks about.”

“That’s a strong possibility.  The horrible lizard aliens.  Heartless and evil.  Perfect description of the republicans, and they do look like the same words, kind of.”

“I don’t think they’re human,” he said.

“Your idea, by the way, is actually a good one.”

“I know, right?  Makes perfect sense.  No more females, and what are they going to do?”

“It might need some work, but it’s a possibility.  I don’t think they’ll make it easy for The Janes women to start up again.  Life sentences for those who HELP women stay alive.  The punishment is like a dragged out death sentence because…”

“They hate you so much, they have to be sure the punishment is extreme in order for them to get their own way and control you and steal your right to do what you want with your body?”

“Exactly.”

“How can you stand them?”

“I can’t.”

“And yet, you’ll live laying on your face, while they walk over you.  Big ugly white guys, who send their mistresses, wives and daughter to Paris for abortions, so they don’t die, but they won’t let you have them.”

“Yes.  That is correct.”

“And you’ll all let them get away with that?”

“Apparently.”

“Just like the war in Ukraine.  How many people have to die before you do anything?  An entire country destroyed in front of all of you, and now it’s not even the lead story on the news.  You’re all bored and need some new excitement, or misery, in your lives.  You guys screwed up by not taking him out the first day he invaded the country. You’re gonna be sorry you let him get this far.”

“I agree.”

“If you know all this stuff, why don’t you do something about it?”

“Like?”

“How should I know?”

“We can’t even get laws to stop men from killing us.  Violence is allowed, because it’s a free form of control over others.  The rich guys don’t die, just the people.”

“You guys are all crazy.  Cats would never live the way you do.  We aren’t stupid.”

“I agree.”

“Did you get the DNA test?”

“I’m not getting tested for cat genes.”

“Your loss.  They might even have a fund for people who have cat genes.  Something to do with art scholarships, or other wonderful things.  I mean humans who are part cat should be celebrated.”

“You’re spot on again,” she said, petting his back.

“They should have had a different cat in the Harry Potter movies.”

“Why?”

“The smushed in face kind of puts some people off, and the cat looks like he couldn’t run to save his life.  It’s embarrassing.  And they made hair globs and attached them to his fur, so he would look all ratty.  Don’t they realize we have a reputation to uphold?  They are insulting our entire species.”

“Why are you talking about Harry?”

“The kid down the block is out of school and his mother let him watch all the films, one after the other, until the he was pretty much hypnotized.   I was on the window sill.  That guy with the long beard…”

“Dumbledore?”

“Yeah, him.  What an evil man he was, to know  that Harry was being abused for all those years, and do nothing at all to help him.”

“Again, I agree.  I don’t like him either.”

“I mean the movies are good and everything, but the cat and the beard guy, were bad.  I saw the two guys who broke Watergate on the news, the other night.  They said if the orange one wins again, the country is over.  Finished,  Done.  They said he’s way worse than Tricky Dick.”

“That’s true.”

“They were horrified at what’s happening to this country.  And I want to know why cats age so beautifully, while you guys just kind of look weird and not even like yourselves.  See, that’s another reason to get tested for cat genes.  It would be like the fountain of youth.  A cat always look amazing, no matter how old, whereas you guys, well,  gross.”

“Hey, you get to hide under fur.  Besides, gravity plays a part and you’re closer to the ground.”

“Really?  You’re going to play the gravity card?”

“That’s all I have.”

“Pathetic.  Cats are just well made.  You guys aren’t.”

“That’s probably true too.”

“Lower to the ground,” he snarfed, and looked away from her.  “I can’t believe you even said that.”

“Well you are closer to the ground.”

“Are you going to get old?”

“Unless I die, I suppose I’ll just keep getting older, so yes.” she said.

“That’s what I thought,” he said.  “Are you terrified?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t blame you.  You don’t think you’ll ever look like those republican men, do you?”

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“Doing what?”

“I will NEVER look like a republican of any kind, let alone those icky men, and you better never say anything that compares me to them for any reason.  Do  You  Understand!”

“Wow,” he said, flicking his tail.  “You just might have enough anger to get something done.”

“I’m going home,” she said, packing her tote bag.  “Tell Jinx I’ll see him tonight.”

“Will do,” he said, stretching out.  “Hey, aren’t you going to pet me?”

“No.  I don’t like what you said.  I am not a lizard alien and I will never look like those men, so I’m mad at you.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“You’re not going to kiss me or anything?” he said, sadly.

“Okay, fine, I’ll kiss you goodbye,” she said, kissing his neck and face.  “See you tonight.”

“Look both ways when you cross the street,” he said, as sleep overtook him.  “Otherwise you won’t get older.”

 

 

The Conversation…

Cat, Pet, Animal, Tabby Cat

“You’re not going to change anything,” he said, rolling onto his side.  “You’re just wasting your time…again.”

“I hate that you’re right.”

“Someone has to be right,” he said.  “Look at all the years you spent getting the vote, working for free abortions on demand, so you all didn’t die, and now you’re back where you started, only worse, because societies are supposed to move forward, not backward.  And I mentioned voting because now men just buy elections, so voting is done to make all you humans feel as if you have something to do with the process when, in fact, you do not.”

“The sun’s out.”

“Avoidance.  You do that a lot, you know.”

“Ack.”

“Excuse me?”

“I hate what’s happening so much.”

“Think of all the women who will die.”

“I am thinking about them.”

“Think about all the men who won’t be bothered about all the women who will die.”

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“You were arrested once for fighting for the right to choose, are you going to do that again?”

“No.  Times have changed.  What we did then, won’t work now.”

“What will work?” he asked.

“Nothing.”

“Finally.  I’ve been trying to get you to realize that your government needs to be removed and a new one, that works FOR the people, needs to come into being.  Nothing works because the men in charge don’t want things to work.  The females of your species are prisoners and you all pretend that you aren’t.  What’s wrong with all of you?”

“I’m going home.”

“You just got here.  I’m not even finished eating.”

“You’re making me massively depressed.”

“Why?  Because I’m telling you the truth?”

“Yes.”

“So ignorance really might be bliss?  Is that what you’re saying?” he asked, taking a bite out of the food on his plate.

“Maybe.”

“So you’d rather be on the top of the earth, instead of in the sub, if you were in Matrix?”

“I’d want to be wherever Keanu Reeves was,” she snickered.

“Funny.”

“He loves cats.”

“He’s intelligent, of course, he loves cats.  And, by the way, I think Albert was wrong.  I don’t think the fourth world war will be fought with sticks and stones, I think you’ll all be dead before there would even be a war.”

“Probably for the best.”

“I think most of the other living beings would agree.”

“Can’t blame them,” she said, giving him treats.

“If you can’t do what you want with your own insides, you’re property.”

“I know.”

“Margaret Atwood is from Canada.”

“I know.”

“She is a visionary.”

“I know.”

“I read The Handmaid’s Tale.”

“You did?”

“No.  I mean I listened to the audio version.”

“What did you think?”

“I think you should kill all the men.”

“I’ve thought of that.”

“You can get devices to lift heavy things, you know.”

“Yes, I know,” she said.

“Cats, don’t really do lifting.”

“I know that too.”

“We don’t even like to push things around, unless we’re talking about mice and things.”

“True.”

“We don’t like to work.  We like to nap and enjoy life.  Sure, we chase stuff and leap a million feet into the air, but that’s just fun.”

“I get it.”

“Why don’t serial rapist priests go to jail for life, but those giving abortions go to jail for a hundred years?”

“Because we live in a world that hates women.”

“You shouldn’t have been one then.”

“That’s what my family said.”

“You should have been a cat.  I still think you should get your DNA tested for cat genes.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“It’s the smart thing to do.”

“When have you ever known me to do the smart thing?” she laughed.

“You shouldn’t have watched THE JANES before you went to bed.”

“I know that.”

“Why did you do it then?”

“Keeps my rage fresh and raw.”

“You’re like a volcano inside.”

“I am,” she said, smiling.

“Is that because somebody has to be furious?”

“Yes, it is.”

“I think I’m going to nap now, so kiss me, pet me, and whisper how much you love me in my ear and then go home.  I’ll say hello to Jinx for you.”

She leaned over and rubbed her face against his.  “What would i ever do without you?”

“Be sad, I guess.”

She kissed him and ran her hands over his purring body. Then she watched him until he fell asleep.

 

The Conversation…

Cat, Pet, Animal, Tabby Cat

“How was your day?” she asked, giving him treats.

“Oh, you know, I slept, chased a few things, stopped a couple of fights, then chased a couple of more things, then took a nap.”

“So you were busy.”

“Yes.  I’m always busy.  I have a lot to territory to cover.  Jinx said new people moved in down the block, so had to check them out.  They have a dog and two cats.  I don’t know if the cats need to be rescued.  He said they were sleeping in the window, so they might be drugged or dead, except he said he could see them breathing.”

“Why would anyone drug their cats?”

“How do I know what your species will do.”

“That’s true.”

“Anyway, by the time I got there, the cats were no longer in the window but the goofy dog saw me and almost wagged his back two legs off, and beat himself to death with his own tail.”

“So, he was happy to see you.”

“He said he loves cats.”

“Well that’s nice,” she said

“I guess.  He said the cats don’t need rescuing, because they live like queens and are pampered constantly, like he is.  He said the people gave the cats to him when they were kittens, so he raised them.”

“I love that.”

“I asked if they fetched the paper and he just laughed.”

“So he’s a really nice dog.”

“Seems like it,” he said.  “He’s still a dog, but I try not to be prejudice.  I mean it’s not his fault he’s not a cat.”

“Big of you,” she said, grinning.  “Everyone can’t be a cat.”

“Sad, isn’t it?  I mean all you other beings, just wandering the planet, and no matter what you do, you will never be cats.”

“I had thin crust pizza that was so delicious, there aren’t any adjectives to describe it.”

“I’m happy for you,” he said.

“Crisp, soooooo thin, with spinach and mushrooms on top.”

“I never heard you talk about food like that before.  I mean chocolate, sure, but is chocolate really a food?”

“Perfect pizza.  No fries, but one can’t have everything.  I mean pizza and fries just go together, but I managed to get through it.”

“You can hear what you’re saying, can’t you?”

She ran her hand over his face.

“Hey, give me a break, it was a fabulous moment, okay?”

“Sure,” he said.  “A fabulous pizza moment.”

“What did you chase?”

“Do you really want me to tell you?  Think carefully, before you answer.”

“You’re right.  Never mind.”

“Good choice.”

“There was an ER surgeon, doctor, on TV.  He said there is a gun epidemic in America.  Duh.  Anyway, he said that people get upset about mass killings, but he, as well as every other doctor in ER’s everywhere, see many gun shot victims every single day.  He said the public never hears about what’s really going on and how many people are shot, killed, and harmed by guns, everyday, everywhere.  He said things have to change.”

“They won’t.”

“No.  They won’t,” she said.

“How’s the war?”

“Murder, destruction, insanity, lost animals, stolen children and…”

“Same, then.”

“Yes.  Just more dead.”

“You do know that no other species does the horrible things yours does, don’t you?”

“Of course I know that.”

“I caught a bunny.”

“WHAT?”

“I let him go.  Just for you.  He wasn’t bleeding or anything.”

She put her face in her hands and waited to calm down.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Sure,” he said.  “The bunny said his name was Fuzzy Tail and when I told him why I let him go, he said to thank you.”

“Life is really confusing sometimes.”

“Just sometimes?” he chuckled.

“Cats aren’t supposed to be able to chuckle.”

“Am I supposed to talk to you?”

“Point taken.”

“I’m going to sleep.  You can go now.  We’ll all be over tonight, to hang out on the porch.”

She kissed him, snuggled against him, gave him pets, then got up.

“Be careful crossing the street.”

“I will.  Thank you.  Sweet dreams.”

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