“You want me to what?” asked the cat in amazement.
“I don’t know,” she said, “I mean, I feed you, buy toys and treats for you. let you sleep on my pillow and…”
“You’re welcome, so what’s the point?”
“I though maybe you’d sit on my lap for awhile.”
“You’re nothing like a dog,” she sighed.
“Thank you. Is there anything else? It’s time for one of my naps.”
“Do you ever do anything you don’t want to do?”
“I don’t understand the question.”
“You know I love you, right?”
“Why wouldn’t you? Don’t get me wrong. I don’t care one way or the other, but sometimes I’m glad to see you too.”
“Sure. You might want to buy me a tuna for dinner.”
“Okay, but I wish you’d become a vegetarian.”
“I’d die if I was a vegetarian, you know that, so just get the tuna. If they don’t have tuna, get a fat trout or something else that’s nice. After I eat, I’ll sit by you and you can pet me.”
“You might want to go to the store before all the good fish are gone.”
“I’ll see you tonight and maybe you could use the good china for a change.”
“Um, I think I need to take control of our relationship.”
“While you’re doing that,” laughed the cat, “I’m going to chase that bird over there.”
“Don’t hurt it,” she said, firmly.
“Wouldn’t think of it,” he snickered.
“I’ll see you at dinner.”
“Looking forward to the fish,” said the cat. “And if you pass a pet store, pick up a goldfish or two.”
“I can’t believe you talk to her that way,” said a grey tabby.
“The trick is to train them when you’re a kitten. No one can say no to a kitten. You just have to mew a lot, and open your eyes as wide as possible, until they do what you want and that’s it. Once they realize they are there to serve you, everything falls into place.”
“You’re right about that,” snickered the Tabby. “No one can say no to a kitten. But I know how you really feel about her.”
“I can’t let her know that, she already carries me around the house kissing me and rubbing my ears.”
“That’s not so bad,” said the Tabby.
“Actually, I kind of like it but I can’t let her know that.”
“It just seems, I don’t know, wrong, I guess.”
“You might want to rethink that, my friend.”
“”Yeah, that’s what Dee Dee said but right now, let’s just go and play with the mice.”