what can’t you live
what feeds your
no matter how big
what is it
what can’t you live
what feeds your
no matter how big
what is it
Each of us reacts to everything in our lives with our innate personality and the emotions that come along with that. We are who we are. We come into this world already locked and loaded with a personality. Remember startled baby, happy baby, etc. We all know people who cry at the drop of a hat and people who don’t cry at all. Often time we are confused by the reactions of others, since they are so different than out own. I remember my daughter telling me that she went to a movie with her friend and her friend started crying. My daughter turned to her and said, “I don’t know why you’re crying but I’m never going to the movies with you again. She still brings that up, every now and then, because it was so strange to her and it happened years and years ago.”
Naturally, experience and environment play a part in our development but kids react according to their inner being. At least that’s the way I see it. That’s sometimes why people seem unpredictable or surprising. Where we get angry and take action, another person falls apart and doesn’t do anything at all.
Trying to change people is going against type. There are times when people seem to act inappropriately. There are those who have cried, or hidden, been fearful their entire lives and there are those who face things head on and act whether they are afraid or not. This is not necessarily about introverts or extroverts, but I’m sure those traits are part of us as well.
Just ask yourself if anyone could get you to be different than you are. Did anyone ever try to change how you were, how you acted, or reacted. Did parent’s teachers, anyone, try to change you? If so, how did that work out? Of course, there are always those who will defer to others. Those who will give up their ives to make others happy. But there are also those who would never think of doing that. There are also those who would never ask that anyone give up their own choices and lives for them. All innate.
We are who we are. It’s difficult to bury who we are, when asked, or forced. Doing so can lead to all kinds of unhealthy and unpleasant things. I’m not talking about horrific behavior, I’m just writing about normal behavior and reactions to life in general.
It’s easy to see that this is true. We can’t change our kids, anymore than our parents could change us. We aren’t supposed to change, we are supposed to work with what we came her with, from the start. That’s why we have those things inside of us.
Some people call those things buttons. If you know someone well, you know how they’ll react, because their reactions, like our own, are always, or mostly the same. If my cousin gets something sentimental, she’ll cry. And she will cry every single time. If I get the same thing, I just wonder what to do with it, or I think it’s nice and then I wonder what to do with it. I react that way every single time. If my daughter gets something like that, she’ll wonder when she can drop it off at Good Will. Every single time. My daughter and I will force bus, or any other drivers, including our selves, to stop in the middle of the street/highway to save a duck or frog or anything else. We will make a huge scene, when forced, because we HAVE TO SAVE WHATEVER IT IS. Every single time. Did I teach her that? Yes, but it’s part of her and that’s why she does it. I tried to teach her other things and they didn’t take. That’s the whole point. You know what the people around you will do because the pretty much always react the same way, because they were born with those reactions deep inside of them.
Abuse can alter a person’s behavior. Abuse can do a lot of things. Stress, seeing no way out, being trapped, all has to do with being unable to be who you are. That’s the biggest thing there is. BEING WHO YOU ARE. People will even commit suicide, if they can’t see a way to ever be who they are. That’s what our soldiers do, ALL THE TIME, because they are forced to do things that are not natural, or part of who they are. Death is often a choice some people make, when they can’t be themselves, for whatever reason. For many others they simply live lives of misery and depression. That’s why forcing people to go against type is cruel and destructive. No one knows what’s best for another person. NO ONE.
I don’t understand why my cousin cries. She can’t possibly understand me, since she doesn’t fight for a single thing and I never stop fighting. We are very different. But we love each other and have fun together. She’s quiet and I’m not. Changing places would kill both of us in a couple of hours.
So, when you look at those around you, especially your children, take into consideration that we can’t possibly understand anyone, anymore than anyone can understand us. And remember that the people who want YOU to change, never want to change themselves. Don’t do that to someone else. If you don’t like the way someone is, YOU change to fit into their life. Not as easy as you think, but give it a shot, or be quiet. Picture everyone as a wee newborn, already programed to be who s/he is. Then leave them alone. I might drive you crazy but they have the right to become themselves.
We can offer advice, we can talk with people but ultimately, we each own our own lives. You can do that too, no matter how old you are. Don’t die, pretending.
Hey, I’m just sayin’/
I’ve noticed that today, in the era of GOOGLE and all the answers we will ever need and more, that when you ask someone a question, they don’t think, they don’t answer, they immediately LOOK IT UP. Then they read the answer to you, or just send it to you. This, in my opinion, stops discussion, stops thinking, and it also stops the mystery, the search, the wondering. It’s like all the phone numbers we all knew by heart, but can no longer remember, because we simply press a button. I believe we are on the verge of learning how to think about things.
When I talk to my daughter and wonder about something, she says, “Look it up,” or she looks it up while we’re talking and then gives me the answer.
I miss wondering about things and trying to find the answers. It’s like unwrapping a gift. The wonder and excitement of finding out what’s inside is destroyed, if the thing is just handed to you in it’s original packaging Where’s the surprise?
I think we are losing connections to each other, and to our thought processes, at an alarming rate. We’re also taking the joy out of conversations and discovery. Things are cold and clinical. Printed in texts that are flat and boring.
I’ve stopped asking questions, or trying to have discussions about things, with a lot of people. It’s no longer enjoyable. It’s more like being in a stuffy classroom, where the teacher just reads his notes to everyone and expects them to think he’s interesting. He’s not.
Immediate gratification is something I’m all for, in certain situations. Really, sometimes I want things to happen YESTERDAY, because tomorrow is too far away. Conversation, on the other hand, is more like laying around, with a cup of something, talking about incredible things, without typing, while you try and figure out if there is a ninth planet behind Pluto.
I adore heated “arguments/debates” that are loud, fast, and furious, because it’s all so real and you can feel the passion in what people are saying. There’s no passion in a screen and you can be alone to look things up…and that’s the scary part. More and more we are by ourselves, looking things up, and shutting the door on real people and connecting with each other through words and ideas.
Too many people are going to classes on socialization, how to talk to girls, how to BE A HUMAN BEING. Either something’s wrong, or we are evolving into emotionless things, who are disconnected from each other and hooked up to electronics.
I know this is crazy, but if I have a question, I LOOK IN A BOOK, or think about all the ways the answer could turn out. People have said, “No one looks things up in books any longer.” I do. I like the hunt. I like having options and actually thinking about things. That may be old fashion, but I’m okay with that, since I love books. Of course, I look thing up, now and then, I’d be crazy not to. But I like to think, not just have someone tell me all the answers, they believe to be true at the moment.
I used to love conversations, but they’re harder to come by nowadays. I miss the way we used to be excited to talk about things, sometimes all night long. I miss that a lot. Too much instant gratification is like the rat in a lab, spending his life pushing the button for another pice of cheese. People push the button too often, if you ask me.
We believed the world was flat, that an eclipse was the work of evil spirits that needed to be pacified with human and animal sacrifice, that drought, and every other weather event was due to angry gods, that the sun, and EVERYTHING else, revolved around us. Ego much?
The point is, that all of those things were once believed to be FACTS. You think we would catch on that the stuff we know today is based on what we actually know NOW. A hundred years from now people will be writing about the stupid things WE believed. But that doesn’t stop us from making excuse for our horrific behavior. When they write about what we did to the planet the writers will be amazed that we ALLOWED what we are doing to actually happen.
We aren’t any different than the people who came before us and the people who come after us will be the same as we are. Every current generation thinks THEY know what’s going on, in spite of the FACT, that it has been proven over and over again that we just don’t have the information we need to know what’s going on.
It’s as if we’re severely brain damaged and unable to learn from our past experiences which are RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR FACES.
Look, instead of trying to figure out what to do to clean the oceans, people are spending a ton of money trying to figure out how the native people on Easter Island moved the statues. They are using CRANES and up to date technology to do it. Duh. There are all kinds of THEORIES that won’t change a single thing in the lives of those who are hungry or the fish who are poisoned, or the kids with allergies because they can barely breathe our air. But, who knows, maybe they’ll find the cure for AIDS or cancer, once they know how the statues ended up where they are. I’m not suggesting we don’t do research. I’m suggesting that we figure out what needs to be done to survive and stop the ice caps from melting because if we become extinct, the statues will still be there.
Foot binding, FGM, all seemed like good ideas at the time. FGM is still being practiced today. All things done to women. If a woman’s foot wasn’t the size of a newborn’s no man would marry her so a woman had to be crippled in order to survive. Because women couldn’t survive without a man.
Beliefs come and go and the people who live through the transitions are the ones who suffer because of them. People are killed because they love someone of the same gender. How INSANE is that? It’s no one’s business what anyone else does. That’s what FREEDOM means. And the guys in washington who are homophobic are then are outed, which just go to show us that it’s all a bad joke, except for those who are beaten or killed.
There used to be a belief that people (women) couldn’t have sex before marriage (everyone did but they just lied because we do what we want and are forced to lie by the arbitrary rules set up by our culture), divorce was bad, women couldn’t work outside the home, Ms would never catch on. All things that seem childish now.
Well, EVERYTHING is like that. The things we believe now will be different in the future but we take things so seriously, and people SUFFER because of the things we think are important, when they aren’t.
Sigh. We make excuse to do whatever we want. THE GOLDEN RULE is the biggest con of all. That would mean that priests should be raped over and over and over again and that animals should come INTO OUR HOMES and trap and shoot us, then have us for dinner. That would mean that the pope would actually have to GIVE something to others, instead of hoarding gold and art and texts and all the rest. The Golden Rule is meaningless verbiage, blah, blah, blah. No one would want done to them what they do to others. We lie to each other and to ourselves. Men would have their feet bound so they couldn’t walk, have their genitals sliced and diced so they couldn’t feel anything. They wouldn’t be able to make enough money to live, they would be dependent upon women, attacked in the street, afraid to go out alone at night. They would be battered and abused. They would live in fear of women. That’s what the Golden Rule is all about.
So, lets play, Do Unto Others for awhile and see how the other half likes it. We just keep saying the dumbest things and worse, people think that they are actually saying something. Let’s all move into the vatican and play do unto others. Let the pope move into the slums and see what real life is like. THERE IS NO GOLDEN RULE, THERE’S ONLY POWER. See how fast the Golden Rule would disappear if we tried to enforce it. Men would get rid of it immediately because they would never in a million years want done to them, what they do to others.
Once you understand that, then the world makes more sense. We’re going to look as ridiculous as the people who believed the earth was flat or that we were the only ones in the universe when there a billions of galaxies like the Milky Way. Conceit, ego and insanity make up our lives. We think we can kill whatever we like, and we justify everything we do. We make up stupid sayings and then do the opposite. We are controlled by morons and no one seems to notice.
I think the sacred cows and cats should run the show. That way we could all bask in the sun, lay around on the grass or a soft blanket, take walks and just relax now and then. They don’t have rules. They don’t really care what shape the planet is, they just want a little sun and and something to eat, now and then. They don’t need a president cow to tell them what to do, or a president cat. I’m not saying I would want their lives, believe me, I’m just saying that we could learn how to cage more naps and roll around on the ground more often.
Just some stuff I’ve been thinking about this morning. You know, just stuff.
We don’t have the slightest idea what males and females are actually like, I mean inherently. Yes, women get pregnant and have more humans but, that’s about it.
What if…girls were not indoctrinated/brainwashed/conditioned to be the relationship keepers, the tenders, the minders, the mediators, the care takers or the poor. What if we reversed what we did and dressed boys in pink, girls in blue. What if we dressed boys in dresses and girls in pants and gave the girls trucks and guns and the boys dolls and purple ponies, with manes they could braid and comb? If you think that would be a stupid thing for a boy to do, why do you think it’s okay for a girl to do? Stupid is stupid, Stupid doesn’t know gender.
What if we taught boys be the helpers and let girls do whatever they liked. What if we reversed the roles? Roles are things that actors get, so they can PRETEND to be someone other than themselves. Get it…we are teaching our kids to play a role that hurts them and stops them from finding out who they are. It’s destroying our society, the actual world, because only one voice is ever heard. What if we read love stories and sappy romance books to boys and read tough, travel the world, kick ass, books to girls?
What if we TAUGHT GIRLS THAT BOYS WERE SECOND CLASS CITIZENS, unworthy of our attention. Things to be used and violated on the streets and pretty much anywhere they were. What if we had laws that allowed girls to beat up boys and walk away. What if we taught girls that boys should wait on them, clean, do chores and run errands while they watched tv, or just slept? What if we dismissed them, paid them less, refused to make the streets safe, so that boys/men couldn’t go out alone at night without feeling afraid?
Things don’t HAVE to be the way they are. The way things are is the way MEN want things to be.
We force genders into what they become. The one’s who fight back and refuse to bend to the demands of an unjust and unfair society are treated poorly.
We could do to boys, what men have done to girls. We could force/mold them into whatever we want them to be. Many women would like to beat some guy up but the checks that have been put in place in female socialization won’t allow it. We could do that to boys, we could condition and brainwash them into being non-violent and considerate. We could teach them to never fight back.
MEN decided how they wanted women to be and they made it happen. They write the laws and the laws say they can do whatever they want to us. Society/men gave us our roles. They keep them in place through violence and laws that only work to protect men. They pay us less, so we are more dependent, and then bitch about how we’re always looking for a man, so we can survive. They have kept us out of school, refused to let us vote. The church won’t let women use birth control, even though they know they do. Men want to write laws to CONTROL OUR BODIES. What if women wrote laws to control men’s bodies? You rape, surgery follows, and you won’t be able to do it again. That or death. We could do it. When you’re in charge, you can do anything you like. Men have always been in charge. They have always raped and killed us. That’s the law.
Gender roles have been planned and enforced, so that women are the UNPAID work force, things to be used and abused. When one or two women make it to any position of power, they’re on the cover of magazines, to show others it can be done, but it’s not true. The overwhelming majority of women are never going to be billionaires, millionaires, running their own companies. Not as long as the strict gender roles and unfair laws are written and enforced by men, so that they can’t move forward/up.
A guy pushes a stroller and everyone thinks he’s amazing. Women NEVER stop working, no one thinks it’s a big deal. That’s what women are supposed to do…take care of everything, especially things men don’t want to do.
All of it is TAUGHT AND ENFORCED.
All of it. Women have been played from the start. We get the crumbs, enough to keep us quiet and able to do the cleaning. It’s time that we stop smiling and start fighting back. .
Here’s a thought. What if girls and boys were given the SAME books to read. Books about fairness and equality? What if boys and girls were taught to respect each other? What if men and woman were paid the same wages? What if men were taught not to beat and kill women, or children. What if ponies were there for everyone, along with trucks and things that weren’t color coded? What if everyone wore gender neutral yellow? What if kindness was expected from all human beings along with fairness? What if gender ROLES disappeared and there were only people? What then? What if each person was allowed to flourish and no one was held DOWN, for ANY reason. Imagine a society where people could grow, create and be happy. Yeah, I can’t imagine it either…not as long as powerful, rich, white guys keep enforcing the status quo.
You might look at this adorable picture and smile. I just see the system reinforcing the fact that boys and girls are different. She has long hair and she’s wearing a stupid dress, while the boys wear pants, which allow them more movement and protection. He might want to wear a dress, and wear his hair longer, but would be punished for not following the rules. Reinforcement of gender roles are everywhere. EVERYWHERE. You might be thinking, that I’m over reacting but, trust me, subliminal messages, that keep the status quo in place, are everywhere. Kids are taught what is expected of them, how they are supposed to look and dress, by things like this. Walk down the aisles of Target and see the difference in toys for girls and boys. Reinforcing a female’s nurturing place, and the violence is all there for boys to “play” with. No net tutu’s in the boys aisles and I’ve never seen camouflage clothing, or guns, in the girl aisle. If they did have those things, I can only assume they would be pink, that way girls would be easy targets. Girls are the ones who sometimes need to be able to hide, not the boys. All of these things are done on purpose, of course. Boys need to kill later in life, in war, and if it destroys them, there is always another generation in the toy aisle, buying superheroes who kill lots of people. Look at the books at Barnes. I’ve never in my entire life (and I spend a lot of time in bookstores), EVER seen a boy pick up a romance, or magic, book in the YA section. NEVER. I’ve seen them in the Science Fiction/commic section, but it’s only girls who are supposed to be responsible for relationships and romance. BOYS DO NOT READ BOOKS TARGETED FOR GIRLS. Targeted, being the key word. Reinforced, is even a better word.
Anyway, many poems, signs, books, lectures, gurus, movies, and people, tell us to release, get in touch with, or find our inner child. Well, here’s the thing. My inner child is alive and well, she’s just pissed off…pretty much all of the time.
Kids don’t have responsibilities, unless it’s feeding the cat, or taking out the garbage, and even then they don’t WANT to do it, even if they get paid to do it, or they know there will be an argument, if they don’t. This is the beginning…one way to start killing the inner child…the start of RESPONSIBILITY. See, NO ONE wants to do chores, everyone wants to PLAY, that’s the point. Playing, having fun, enjoying life, seems to be what we should all be doing. So, we have to start on kids early, in order to kill that part of themselves, and we do it with RESPONSIBILITIES. We have to MAKE kids lock up/shut down their inner child, so they can grow up to become responsible, tired, unhappy, exhausted, half dead adults, who are told that if they want to be happy they have to find the child that society killed. Not every one is miserable, of course, just the people who are alive. No, not everyone, that would be a sweeping generalization and besides, it’s not their fault. People who retired had the rug pulled out from under them by the GOVERNMENT, who wanted them to obey all their lives so they would be rewarded but wait…that was a lie. Being good, didn’t get them what they thought it would. At least not for all of them. The responsible adults who fought for their country, worked ten hours a day and now at eighty, find themselves looking for work, if they are tired of eating cat food. Because not all of us are lucky enough to have enough to do as we please. That’s why my inner child is pissed off. It’s all an illusion, because being good doesn’t get you what you want, it gets you what society allows you to have.
Kids don’t have to take care of anyone, they don’t have to work, pay bills, and most importantly, they don’t have a clue as to what the world is actually like. Our brains protect us from that (unless you’re an abused child, that’s another story). If, as children, we knew what we were getting into, we WOULD RUN AWAY AND HIDE. Even if kids are told everyday, what they can expect, once they grow up, they’ll just look at us and walk away, never having understood anything we said. How could they? Kids can’t understand the concepts that describe adult life…few of us can. And it’s different for everyone, anyway. They see their parents go to work but, can’t imagine having to do it themselves, in order to survive. School is the the first experience kids have with having to show up somewhere everyday and listening to a boss…lots of kids hate it immediately, which is a normal and healthy response. No one wants to sit behind a desk and take orders, when they could be out playing, swimming, running in a park, sleeping, listening to music or having a good time with friends. You’d have to be insane to want to give that up for a desk and a teacher. Even if you do have to learn how to read and write. You have to be brainwashed into doing telling your inner child that it has to shut up and sit down. Well, today, they just drug kids into sitting still and doing as they’re told, because it’s unnatural for humans to live the way we do.
Again, I don’t know about you, but our inner child was stolen, put into bondage, and has never been released, except maybe on weekends or a vacation. That’s what life does to all of us. We wonder why so many people are dissatisfied. Why they want to spend more time outside, with friends and family but instead they have to dress in PROPER clothing and go to work, sit behind desks, talk on phones, smile, and do what they are told, do what’s expected of them. Sure, lots of people LOVE their jobs, but many people don’t.
The complete loss of their inner child is what makes a lot of people unhappy. Our inner child is our soul. It’s the innocent, amazed, seeing the wonder, curious, unafraid, creative part of us, that has to be killed, if we are to be turned into workers for the state, the rich and greedy.
You have to know that.
I don’t know how to change the system. I wish I did. Children have to know how to be civilized. Idiot, screaming tyrants, which I do see all the time, are not acceptable because they trample on the rights of others and that is not okay. The methods need to change. We need to lead by example and our example should include appreciating creativity and innovation, joy, laughter and freedom. It should not be about sitting still, shutting up and obeying. Obeying is the opposite of freedom and leads to death.
This long rant is about finding a way to not kill, or disable our inner child. It’s about finding ways to keep it alive in future generations of children, while still teaching them how to live and navigate in the world. My inner child is always doing her thing because when I grew up I didn’t have to be anywhere. No adult supervised activities, no having grown ups telling me what to do all the time. I made up my own rules and discovered things for myself. Too many kids today can’t think for themselves at all. Always under the eye of an adult telling them what to do. It’s sad but some rebel. No time off, for the inner child to relax and dream. Oh well.
Laugh when you can, dance as much as possible, wherever you are, and let your inner child come alive again. Play!
…that we know the truth
…that there there
has ever been an
is the answer
to a lot of our
is a joke
no longer exists
across the entire planet
is our future
…that children are
being uneducated in
needs to be
…that our government
will start killing people
in the streets
is the best medicine
…that children and adults
are over medicated
…that militarizing the police
is a horrific idea
…that junk food
is actually good
still love to read
…that news programs
should be removed
from TV because they
are bad for our health
…that the so called president
should be removed from office
because he’s bad for the health of
…that kids should be able to
read comic books for book
reports in school
…that teachers should not
have to follow all the rules
…that hunters should be
should be abolished
…that rapist priests
should go to jail
…that stuffed animals
are real when we
aren’t looking at them
…that bullies are
given special privilages
…that teen suicide
should be a WARNING
that we are doing somehtng
…that we need to
ask more questions
…that we should stop being
nice and make more demands
…that we should teach kids
that they are lied to all the time
…that we should realized that WE
are being lied to all the time
…that hot chocolate is
…that chocolate chip cookies
are better when warm
…that candy corn
…that adults wish
they could dress up
and be silly more
than once a year
..,that life will
ever be open
…that sick people
with no hope of recovery
should be allowed to die
the best thing ever