Art and the philosophy of life

Archive for the ‘words’ Category

Okay, so…Compassion, Kindness, and empathy…

Are compassion and empathy real?  Are they possible?  What are they?  What do they mean?  How are they manifested?  Are they learned responses?

I have a button that says:  REALITY IS WHEN IT HAPPENS TO YOU.  I believe that completely. The only things that are real, are the things that are happening to us personally.  Everything else is happening to other people, even other people we care about.

When the same thing happens to two people, they have something in “common,” but that’s about it. Their experiences will have been different, even though the event is the same..  That’s why they have “support” groups…they have them for those who have had similar experiences.  They HAVE those groups because the people who have NOT HAD the same experiences, are not able to understand what the people in those groups have gone through, or are going through.  The people in the group have a better chance of being understood by the rest of the group, than they ever would be by those on the outside.  Those who couldn’t possibly understand what any of them actually went through.

It’s like that with everything.  If we aren’t poor, and never have been, we can’t possibly understand what it’s like to be poor.  All we can do is imagine what it’s like to be terrified and beaten, if it has never happened to us . Empathy doesn’t really exist.  Similar experiences do.

It seems to me that compassion is often very short termed thing.  People see someone begging and feel sorry for the person, give him/her a few dollars, then walk away.  Compassion, if it actually exists, doesn’t necessarily lead to ACTION.  It doesn’t work to change the system of enforced poverty, or racism, sexism, or agism, or anything else.  The person handing out the money, doesn’t HAVE the problem and is free to walk away and think of other things.  Horror at the system and fighting back would help a lot of people, long term, but then we’d have to work together to overthrow the “machine” that keeps people miserable and that’s just not gonna happen.

People get involved with raising money for diseases, or to stop drunk drivers, etc., AFTER they have experienced a loss, or some other horrific incident. REALITY IS WHEN IT HAPPENS TO YOU…kickstarts people into action.  When it happens to you, you finally understand what that thing is.

I think commonality exists between those who have had similar experiences.  There is an immediate understanding between those who have lost a child, or those who have been beaten.  People can look at each other and nod, acknowledging the pain, that others can never understand.

I supposed we have to define our own personal definitions of the words we use. Those definitions will be based on experience, brainwashing, belief and place.

Compassion, if it exists, always seems sad to me. It’s always connected to something terrible and it can easily turn into pity, or some icky kind of thing that serves the person who is supposedly being compassionate, not the one who is having a bad time.

Empathy, to me…is the nod between those people I mentioned before.  Those who have had a shared experience.  They understand what happened, and acknowledge the loss, realizing the experience was different for each one.  If you aren’t part of that group, you can’t have empathy.  It’s impossible.

I think kindness is good for all occasions…good or bad…and for all beings and the planet itself.  It’s a universal thing.

The other words, compassion and empathy, are too heavy, too negative, and can be hurtful, or insulting.  I don’t like them.  I don’t use those words at all.

KINDNESS works for me.

The thing is, all words can get grubby and manipulative when used by bad people.  That’s a big problem for all of us.  Even kindness can be used to cause harm.  Unfortunately, there are far too many bad people, which makes life a living hell for so many others…EVERY SINGLE DAY.

See, that’s the thing…misery and terror, hunger and inequality, violence and all the rest, don’t go away.  They hurt people every minute of every day and it’s only because the people in charge (government), those who just voted themselves ANOTHER RAISE IN PAY, are selfish, greedy, hateful, completely unaffected, tyrants who never think suffering has anything to do with them, even though they are the CAUSE.

We are all guilty of being blind to things that don’t touch us. We can’t possibly be aware of all the problems in the world.  It would be overwhelming.  We wouldn’t even be able to understand all the horrors out there.

But we don’t really work together to stop injustice and violence.  We want someone else to do it.  Women work against other women, brainwashed by a republican, christian system that enslaves and controls them.  Our problems could be easily solved, but they won’t be.  Solving the problems would mean less for the white males who get rich off the suffering of others.  They encourage fear, division, and violence, because that works for them.

There are so many people out there doing wonderful things.  Getting fresh water for villages, helping women survive by teaching them new skills, bringing medicine to those in need.  It’s truly beautiful.  The thing is…why are those things ALLOWED to exist in the first place?  Why do any of us continue to accept the 1% who rule over us and enslave us?  Why don’t we wake up and say, “SCREW YOU.”  All the horrors in the world are caused by the rich, by governments, by greed.  There are more of us than there are of them and yet, we bow and scrape and nothing ever changes.  It’s incredible to me that we are brainwashed by male institutions to fight EACH OTHER for their benefit. And the saddest thing is that people constantly try to work AROUND the systems that have been put in place to keep the ugly status quo up and running.

Anyway, that’s what I was thinking about on this dark dreary morning…waiting for the snow to begin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, so…

I saw the word sin on a post yesterday.   Sin is a religious word, as far as I’m concerned.  A word that is meaningless to me and one that has no place in my vocabulary, or life.

Here’s the thing.  WHAT is a sin?  WHO gets to decide what a sin is?

MEN, get to define the word they made up, and they get to tell everyone who believes in them, what a sin IS.  That really works for those religious guys.  By doing that, they get to decide what they don’t want  other people to do. It is NOT a sin to give them your children or money.

Sin is a control word, like most religious words. It’s a word of threat. It goes along with their costumes and rituals.  All gangs and cults do the same things.  It’s what holds them together.

What some people don’t think about is how those words make them think about other people.  People who are religious and use those words, automatically judge others by them.   But those things have all been made up by men, who often rape children.  Those words and rituals are put into young minds so early and so consistently, that the children grow up to believe they are real and meaningful.  They believe in sin and things that are sinful.  I don’t have a clue as to what sin IS.  No one ever told me anything was a sin. It’s a word that only works for those who believe that some guy who made the word up knew what he was talking about.  He didn’t.  The men who hand out words like that just want power over others.  They seem to think it’s not a sin to destroy the lives of children, but everyone else should be good.

When people just believe everything they’ve been told, they don’t actually think about what they believe, they just believe it.  When someone who doesn’t believe the things someone else believes, they don’t know what they’re talking about.

The word sin supposedly means something bad.  Therefore, I think the church is a sin.  I think it’s a sin that the minds of people have been stolen by hateful and greedy men in dresses.  I think it’s a sin that men made up the word sin and control people with it by telling them what’s good and bad, as if people can’t decide that for themselves.  I think people who protect rapists and move them around to rape in new places is a sin.  But the guys who made up the word just use the word against others, they don’t seem to apply it to themselves.  Greedy monsters…those words are in my vocabulary.

Anyway, people need to be aware of the fact that words control others.  We all need to think about who gets what out of what they want others to believe.  I don’t think rapists, and those who protect them, should get to define anything.  I think we can do that for them.  Too bad so many people still support the sinners.  But I guess that word only works for the sheep, not the shepherds.

Okay, so…

We live in a completely patriarchal world.   Everything we think, see, or even believe, is male.  They run the show and…if you’re thinking...here she goes again…that’s exactly what patriarchy wants you to think.  Women have been brainwashed into thinking that what they’ve been told is real, when it’s NOT.  They have been taught to believe that what people like me say about THEM, makes me a bitch, or a nagging bitch, for even bringing this up…again.

When I write short stories where a woman stabs a man, I can assume that at least one, or two, women frowns upon it, or think that I’m bitter, a man hater, or any number of things, and that’s fine with me. I’ve been called a lot worse, believe me.

The thing is, women have been taught to protect men, to let them get away with beating, raping, and killing us, and even putting us in houses to work and raise kids, while they enjoy the world outside and have all the freedom they want.  But hey…that’s what THEY want us to do, and they have made the world in such a way, that women believe that’s what we’re SUPPOSED to do too.  It’s NOT.  We get the jobs they don’t want.  Remember that.

As for writers, take poet Charles Bukowski (he’s dead now).  He’s vile and treats women like GARBAGE, things to be used and called disgusting names.  He’s pretty much a moron.  People read him.  They love him, especially men.  But what female poets write about men the same way?  See, women aren’t SUPPOSED to do that to men.  They aren’t ALLOWED to write that way.  When they do, the punishment can be severe.  Their career destroyed, name calling shows up immediately…man hater (which I love because no one calls male writers, women haters…EVER).  And, critics will pretty much destroy women with words.  Women cannot hate men the way men can freely hate women.  It’s simply not allowed.

Men do the most horrendous things to women in real life, in books, in films, in VIDEO GAMES, pretty much everywhere they can, but women, are supposed to be NICE, or at least SHUT THE FUCK UP!

We really aren’t  ALL nice.  We’ve simply been silenced, written out of history, and pretty much ERASED.  That might be okay with you, but it’s not okay with me.

Men are in control and they don’t want us to have any power at all.  So, they make sure we don’t have it.  You can tell because you can name the handful of women whose names you might recognize (most of them will be ancient).  Even Mary Cassatt, the only female, American Impressionist, isn’t mentioned 99% of the time for even BEING THERE, let alone working the same way the MEN were.   The MEN get all the credit and MUSUEM SPACE.

So, if I kill off a few men, now and then, I think it’s only fair.  I don’t torture them, lock them in a room in a basement, beat them, chain them to anything, rape or cut them, I don’t do all the things men do to women, so I think I’m allowed to stab a guy who won’t let a woman have her tea in a cafe, at least once in awhile.

Women are just now learning about their own herstory.  It’s sketchy because a lot of information was lost, or never written down.  Plus women’s names have been lost, having taken the names of their husband.  ERASED.

Here’s the thing.  Women writers are locked into two positions.  They can write stories that are acceptable to patriarchy, or they can write how they feel and be condemned as a shrew, and destroyed.  See, that’s how men have us shut us up, with no way out.  Fortunately, there are more options for women today, but it’s still difficult and most women won’t read what other women are writing, if it’s about serious issues, instead of novels, romance and otherwise.  Women don’t want to know, or else they just don’t care.  Maybe, they just don’t want to deal with the fact that their lives have been stolen from them and they didn’t even realize it.  And, most women just won’t believe it.  They also won’t believe that things could be, or should be, any different.

The overwhelming majority of men do not read books written by women.  They don’t have to.  Boys don’t want to read books they believe are written for girls.  That’s because females don’t matter, don’t count, and are despised.  Believe it or not, it’s still true.  Girls and women read books written by men all the time.  We should stop that.   We should support women authors and see what happens to male authors, when WOMEN STOP READING THEM.  Maybe that will wake them up a little, since more women than men actually read.  I very rarely buy books written by men, unless they are about science, or a particular artist.  I always buy books written by women.  I wish I could get women to stop supporting men, so they could see what kind of power we actually have in the marketplace.  But see, patriarchy has taught us that male is better, more intelligent, blah, blah, blah…but it’s NOT.  Women are ALWAYS taught to support men, especially over other women.  Gag!

Anyway, no one will care.  They rarely do.  Try getting a man in your life to read your favorite female author.  Not a romance novel, or Pride and Prejudice, something violent and fast. Good luck.

Oh, and it’s not just female writers, it’s artists too.  It’s in everything.  Including how we dress, stand POSE, smile, talk and look.

So, that’s what I’ve been thinking about today.  How about you?

 

So…

 

I heard someone say, “When all is said and done…”  And I thought, when all is said and done…then it’s over.  I think it means death.  There’s nothing left, at least not here, not once all is said and done.  We say weird things all the time.  Little sound bytes of strange and twisted meanings and yet, people think the words make sense.  The thing is, each person hears something different and takes away a different meaning, so we rarely know what anyone is getting out of the conversation.  We spend our entire lives assuming that we are being understood and that we understand…and we don’t…not always…maybe not ever.  Still, we muddle through.  Muddle is a strange word all on it’s own, don’t you agree.  I like it.  Muddle seems warm and cozy like Miss Marple.  Just sayin’.

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