The Conversation…

“You look better,” he said.

“Thanks.  It’s sunny, flowers are planted, summer is almost here, and I love all of that.  Especially the sun.”

“If you like the sun then why do you live here, where it’s always dark?”

“Good question,” she said.  “To which I have no answer.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.  How can you not have an answer?”

“Right to the point, as always,” she sighed, adding more food to his plate. “I saw Jinx on the way over here.  I met his new friend.  She’s adorable.  Fluffy, white and gray.  She seems to really care for him.”

“See if she’s still here in two weeks.  He likes to play the field, and she was on her way to someplace else when he met her.”

“She wouldn’t tell me her name.”

“She won’t tell anyone her name.  Jinx said she doesn’t know what it is.  She only knows her true name, the one her mother whispered into her ear at birth.  And cats never tell that name.  Not ever.”

“Did your mother whisper your true name to you?”

“What did I just say?” he sighed.  “All Queens whisper the true names of their kittens into their ears at birth, so yes, my mother whispered my name into my ear.  Pay attention.”

“Wow, you’re kind of crabby today.”

“”I’m what?”

“Never mind.”

“I’m never crabby,” he said.  “I’m sometimes distracted, or pensive, but never crabby.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Sarcasm will get you no where, grasshopper.”

“Ah, you’ve been watching reruns of that old Kung Fu series.”

“Perhaps.”

“Can cats actually do Kung Fu?  I mean you guys just kind of attack and it’s over before it’s begun.”

“It’s the mental state of Kun Fu, that I was interested in.”

“How’s that working for you?” she asked.

“No too well, to tell you the truth.  It’s hard to remain calm when I’m awake.”

“For me too.”

“Yes, but you’re a human, I should have more control.”

“Are you saying that you’re better than I am?”

“You didn’t know that?” he asked, his eyes wide.  “How could you not know that?  I’ve told you enough times.  I even encouraged you to get a DNA test to see if you might have some cat genes, which would elevate your status in the world.”

“I see,” she said, frowning.  “I would like to argue with you, but I think you’re right.”

“I’m always right.  You know that.”

“I do.  You tell me constantly.”

“Only because you seem to forget it all the time.”

“I love you.”

“I know.”

“I think you’re beautiful,” she said.

“All cats are beautiful.”

“That’s true.”

“Can I hug you?”

He looked at her, flicked his tail back and forth and said, “Okay, but not for long.”

She hugged him and then kissed him all over his face.

“Are you finished?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said.  “At least for now.”

He immediately started grooming.  “I don’t know why you have to do that to me.”

“I love you and that’s how I show it.”

“No. You do it because it make YOU feel good, in spite of what it does to me.”

“I guess that’s one way of looking at it.”

“There is no other way to look at it.”

“Fine,” she sighed.  “I won’t do it anymore.”

“Excellent.”

“You’ll miss it.”

“Will not.”

“Will too,” she said.

“I’ll still head butt you now and then, just to mark you, so don’t think it’s anything more than that.”

“I won’t.  And I won’t pet you either.”

“Good,” he muttered, licking his shoulder.

“Well, see you tonight,” she said, getting up.  “I’m going shopping then home.”

“I’m going to take a nap.”

“I figured.”

“Look both ways when you cross the street.  We need you, so you can feed us.”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Bye.”

“Aren’t you going to try and pet me?”

“No.”

“Really?”

“No,” she said, and walked away.  She felt him staring at her, but she didn’t turn around.

 

 

 

The Conversation…

“Sup?” he asked.

“I just had a conversation with someone about why we’re on earth.  She thinks that love is all that matters and we should try and love everyone and everything, even if we don’t care for people.  She doesn’t think we should keep talking about issues if we don’t do something about them.  I don’t know what we can do about anything, since the government and the entire country is corrupt.  I also think that hating IS doing something, while loving is just letting people off for free.  There are kindnesses being done, of course, but on the whole the entire country is pretty ugly.  I think there’s a time and place for hating.  Why else would we have that emotion, if we weren’t supposed to use it, right?”

“What if you guys have hating so you can overcome it?”

“What if some of us don’t WANT to overcome it?” she hissed.

“Hey, this is a human problem.  Don’t look at me.  Cats aren’t corrupt, but we do hate a lot of you for the torture and murder you fill our lives with.  You’re a violent and deadly bunch.”

“That’s exactly what I mean!  So what are we supposed to do…love the batterers, rapists, child abusers, human traffickers, the shooters, animal killers, the…”

“I get it already, and I’m bored.  You’re putting me to sleep.”

“I planted all my flowers.”

“I know,” he said.  “I saw the squirrel eating some of them.”

“He likes the yellow ones.”

“I saw that.”

“Do you think the good things outweigh the bad things?”

“No.”

“Neither do I.”

“What’s your problem?  You’re so…miserable,” he said.

“I feel as if everything is a big game.  We are computer generated, or maybe just insane, or both, I guess.  The way animals are treated is so horrific, I don’t know what to do.”

“Don’t think about it,” he said, yawning.

“How do you suggest I do that?”

He shrugged.  “Think of something else.  Think of me.”

She laughed.

“See, you feel better already.”

She leaned in and kissed him.    “Sunday is Mother’s Day, so when you come over I’m having special treats.”

“We don’t know what to get you,” he said.  “I’m assuming a dead bird is out of the question.”

“It is,” she growled.

“Just thought I’d ask.”

“When you already knew the answer?” she said, tapping her foot against the sidewalk.

“Hey, things change, you know.”

“That never will.”

“I wonder where my mom is.”

“I wish I knew.  I would take you to her right away.”

He started washing his face.

“I wonder if she would remember me.”

“Who wouldn’t remember you,” she said, running he hand down his back.  “You’re perfect.”

“I’ll see her again when I go to the place all cats go to, after they’re done being here.”

She hugged him and kissed him all over his face.

“Back off!” he said, licking his shoulder.  “Too much.”

“Sorry.”

He shook himself and glared at her.

“I just love you a lot and sometimes I can’t help myself.  I mean I just want to hug you and make everything okay.”

“Everything will never be okay for anyone on this rock.  Grow up.”

“Now, who’s the miserable one?”

“When you hug me I feel trapped.”

“Oh.”

“I want to bite you, but I don’t, because we’re friends.”

“Thank you for that and I promise I won’t do it again.”

“Unless I say so.”

“Unless you say so,” she said.  “How about now?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

“Where’s your mom?” he asked.

“Wherever people go when they die.  Hope she’s having fun because she didn’t have a lot of fun when she was here.”

“That happens.”

“She was too nice.  Never stood up for herself.”

“So you’re making up for that by being the ice queen bitch.”

“Thank you.  I might change my name to that.  It has a nice ring to it.  I could have little cards made up with ice dripping down the front.”

“Does it work for you?  Being the ice queen bitch, I mean.”

“Very well, thank you.”

“You’re not like that with us,” he said.

“No.  I love you guys.  You’re not human.”

“I get that,” he said, laying down.  “Do you think you’ll reincarnate as a cat, next time?”

“I’m not coming back here again.”

“Why not?”

“Duh.”

“Well if you did come back, would you come back as a cat?”

“First of all, I don’t know if you can change species and second I’d come back as someone who could stop the nightmare.”

“But then how would people learn what violence is like?”

“No one needs to learn that lesson and if people want to do that I don’t care, but I don’t want animals, who are innocent, to be hurt for any reason.  But I’m not coming back.  If I could write DON’T COME BACK HERE YOU MORON on my arm, with magic marker, I would do that,  but I doubt that I’d have an arm for long once I’m dead.”

“Maybe a shadow arm.”

“Maybe,” she said.

“What if I want you to come back for me.”

She stared at him.  “Don’t do that.”

“I might need you again.”

“Then you’ll have to find me on the other side and we can be together there.”

“What if I don’t like it there and I want to come here.”

“Y0u’re a cat, you’ll manage.”

“What if I can’t?  And what if Jinx wants you to come back too.”

“I’m not coming back here.”

“I bet you said that before and you came back with me this time.”

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“I’m not doing anything to you,” he said, rolling on his back and grinning at her.

“Evil Kitty,” she whispered.

“You can pet me now.”

“I’m going home.”

“To get ready for the party?”

“Yeah, that’s why,” she said.

“At least kiss me goodbye,’ he said, softly.

When she bent forward and pressed her lips to his cheek, he said, “We’ve done this dance before and we’ll do it again.”

She picked up her tote back and walked away.  She didn’t turn around so she didn’t see him smiling.

 

The Conversation…

“What IS your problem?  Sit down and stop pacing,” he said, taking another bite of food.

“I have a lot I want to do but I can’t do it because the nighttime temps are too low so can’t get flowers in and summer is so short that if it doesn’t warm up soon it will be time to get rid of them and that stresses me out because I hate that they can’t live a long time like they do where it’s warm all year long and…

“TAKE A BREATH,” he yowled.  “Talk about a run on sentence.  You’re making me want to take a nap.”

“I guess I’m a little hyper,” she said.

” A LITTLE?” he asked.  “How about a LOT.”

“Fine,” she huffed.  “I’ll sit down.”

“I was getting dizzy just watching you walk back and forth.”

“Maybe I should start smoking,” she muttered.

“Oh, now that’s a great idea.  Die early so no one will be here to care for us.”

“You’re right.  Just a passing thought.  I’m going to calm down.”

“They’re flowers.  Not a matter of life and death.”

“But they’re only here for a little while and I am not the kind of person who can WAIT for ANYTHING.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“More places are shutting down and taxes are going up.”

“Nothing ever seems to come down,” he said.  “Have you noticed that?”

“Duh!” she hissed.  “There’s no checks and balances.  No one can stop the government from doing anything at all.  They just write laws to accommodate whatever they feel like doing.  No one can stop them.”

“You better come up with some ideas fast, before it’s too late,” he said.

“Too late for what?”

“Well,” he said, “the environment is crashing, the cost of things is almost doubling, taxes are going up and that means more poverty and homeless and starvation and…”

“I get it.”

“Their plan is to have the elites and their servants.”

“I know,” she said.

I read that Biden is running again.”

“Bobby’s kid might run against him for the nomination.”

“You mean Bobby Kennedy’s son?”

She nodded.  “He’ll win the vote.  If Biden tries to run again, assuming he can last that long, and the republicans win, all is lost.  I won’t want to live here anymore.”

“Understandable, but how will you move all of us?”

“I’ll find a way.”

“You know they can already control the weather, don’t you?”

“I kind of do, but what does that have to do with who is running for president?”

“Nothing, but Antartica is off limits, like Area 51.  Bad things are happening in those places.”

“Alien things,” she said.

“Definitely.  Usually cats know everything, because we go wherever we like and just lay around. No one bothers with us, but we can’t even get into those places.  And, truthfully, no one wants to go to Antartica.”

“I can see why.”

“Frozen catcicles,” he said.

“Not funny.”

“It can be as long as it’s not true.”

“We are in for lots of big changes.”

“No kidding,” he snickered.  “May you live in interesting times, isn’t so interesting, is it?”

“Not the way it’s going.  Fewer rights, higher costs…”

“Whatever,” he signed.  “This is boring.  I went to the Art Institute yesterday.  I was the only cat there, other than the one’s in the painting.  And seriously,” he said, “some of those artists must never have seen an actual cat.  And who decided who was an artist and who was not?  I mean I’ve seen little kids draw on the sidewalk with chalk and come up with better things.”

“Art is a matter of taste.”

“I taste street art,” he said.  “Those are talented artists who give their work away for free so we can all enjoy it.”

“True and I agree.”

“And why do you humans always have to finish something before you can do what you want?  I’m always hearing you say that you want to do this or that but not until you finish with chores of some kind.  Why do you just do what you want to do and stop putting the good stuff off.  You’re all gonna die and then what?  You won’t be able to do the fun things and all the unfun things you wasted time doing will still be there for someone else to do before they die.”

“Totally true.  And it’s all about conditioning and the fact that if women don’t spend their entire lives cleaning and fixing things we will descend into chaos and trees will grow out of houses and fungi will grow on rugs.”

“What?”

“Never mind,” she said. “We’re all brainwashed.”

“I know that.  All the animals know that.  What we don’t know is why don’t you change that?”

“Because we have been conditioned to do those things and, we are really, really, stupid.”

“We know that as well,” he said.

“Maybe you’re right,” she sighed.  “Cat’s should rule the world.”

“We do, we just don’t want to bother with you guys because you’re not bright enough to do what needs to be done.”

She nodded.  “Now that I’ve been sitting down, I’m getting sleepy.  I think I’ll go home and take a nap.  I have new catnip mice for everyone, so when you all come over tonight, you can all take some.”

“Good to know,” he said.  “You don’t look so good, so be careful crossing the street.”

“I will,” she yawned.  “I’m coming down from all that hyper stress.”

“I’ll tell Jinx you left his food.”

“Thanks,” she said, getting to her feet.  “See you later.”

He watched her walk away and felt lucky to be a cat.

 

 

 

 

The Conversation…

“Happy Earth Day,” she said, getting a cat food can out of her bag.

“You do know that everyday is earth day, don’t you?”

“Yes, but today is the day we all celebrate together.”

“May I remind you that your species is insane?” he said.

“I know that .”

“I mean you celebrate the earth while you spend everyday destroying the earth and everything that lives on it.”

“That’s part of our insanity and brain washing.  None of us are okay.  We’re all broken because we were born and never had one second to know anything but the status quo and what was expected of us.  I hate all of that and I do everything I can to break through all the garbage that was put into my head.  I do pretty good, actually.”

“You jest,” he said, licking his paw.

“I jest you not.”

Your species is making extinction look attractive.  Hopefully you’ll all go and leave us to live, while the earth to replenishes itself.”

She shrugged.  “One can only hope,” she said, giving him some treats.

“You can stay, at the end,” he said, “so you might want to pick a friend or two, so when everyone else is dead, you won’t be all alone.  I mean we’ll be here, but you might want another one of your species around.  Then again, you’ll probably end up killing each other, so perhaps you should just stay here by yourself.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Okay, but don’t take too long.  Things are escalating and I don’t think you have much time.”

“The earth is beautiful,” she said, smiling at him.  “Especially now, in spring.  Then summer and all the flowers will be blooming and color will be everywhere.”

“And species will be driven to extinction by you, and the coral reefs are dying and so is…”

“Enough.  Please.  I just want to give it a break for a minute.

“Nothing that’s dying is ever given a break.”

“We need a reset, but not the kind that’s coming.  We, the people, need to get rid of the bad guys.”

“Do tell,” he snickered.  “Hope you have a plan and a lot of guns.”

“I’ll die soon, so I won’t have to watch it happen.”

“Are you sick.  You don’t seem sick,  I can’t smell that you’re sick,” he said, looking her over.

“I’m not sick, I’m getting older and I could get hit by a bus.”

“You can only get hit by a bus if your careless.”

“Not true.  There are random bus mishaps all the time.”

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked.

“I’m sure,” she said, softly. “I just want all of you to come and live with me and sit in the garden and watch the bees and smell the flowers and be safe.”

“You know people are always going to fight and hate each other, don’t you?  I mean it’s written in your DNA and in everything you do.  Everyone wants their own way and everyone’s way is different than everyone else’s way.  Your brains are all different and you all live in individual worlds. You all have different degrees of emotion.  It’s okay if you all want your own way, but not when you expect others to do things your way as well.  Not when their world isn’t the same as yours.”

“That’s so very, very depressing  But certain things are wrong and not life affirming.”

“Truth is often depressing,” he said, biting his claws.  “And yes, you have a collective vision of what’s right and wrong, but not everyone agrees on what those two things mean.”

“Cheer me up,” she said.  “Please.”

He looked at her, then moved closer and put his front paws on her lap and rubbed his face against her shoulder.

“Thank you,” she said, hugging him and kissing his neck.

“Hey, hey, let go.”

“That’s something I want to change,” she said, wiping tears from her face.  “I want kindness to be so common that people aren’t shocked, or overwhelmed by it.  So rare, that people burst into tears when someone is kind to them.  I hate that.  I hate that kindness can bring out those kinds of emotions because it’s so rare that when it occurs, people are overwhelmed.”

“I don’t know why you always want the impossible.  Can’t you just be happy with the way things are?”

“Look at the way things are,” she said, holding out her hands.

“Nothing’s happening to you.”

“Not the point.”

“I think it is,” he said, rolling over.

“No, we have to speak for those who have not voice, stick up for those who are ignored and…”

“Yeah.  I heard it all,” he said, “and there’s nothing you can do about anything.  The rich guys who run the show have all the power.”

“They don’t.  There’s more of us than there are of them.”

“That’s true, BUT you all hate each other.  That can make matters difficult, unless something catastrophic happens and you’re all forced to work together.  Maybe you should start smoking.”

“Start smoking?  Why would I do that?”

“If you start smoking, you’ll be busy feeling terrible, coughing and wheezing, so you won’t have time to think about all the things that are wrong with the world.”

“Seriously?” she asked.

“Just an idea.”

“I’m going home.  Happy Earth Day,”  she said.  “I love you.”

“Can’t take it, can you?  If you can’t think about these things, how are you going to change anything?”

She bent over and kissed him, ran her hands over him, and nuzzled his face.  He purred and pushed against her.  “You can’t run away from the truth.”

“The truth changes all the time.”

“If you say so,” he said, laying down.

“I’m going to feed Jinx.  I saw him on the way over and he said he’d wait for me.”

“Okay.  Be careful going home and be glad your life is as good as it is.”

“I love you.”

“I know.”

“Nap time?” she asked, softly.

“Nap time,” he whispered, curling up, putting his tail over his nose.

She kissed him again, and walked away.

 

 

 

The Conversation…

“You’ve been crabby lately,” he said.  “What’s your problem?”

“I’m not crabby I’m…caught in between.”

“In between what?”

“Everything, but mostly no sun, and winter.”

“So the weather is getting you down?”

“That’s what I just said,” she growled.

“I bet you’ve been watching Ancient Aliens again, right?”

“Maybe.”

“You’re probably not drinking enough water or eating enough dark chocolate either.”

“Either?” she asked.  “Either than what?”

“I’m losing the thread of this conversation,” he sighed.  “Maybe you’re just bored.  After all, your only friends and family are cats.”

“It’s hard to have human friends when I’m taking care of a herd of cats.”

“Cows live in herds, not cats,” he said. “We don’t have to come over every night, or day, you know.”

“Are you threatening me?” me she asked.

“What?” he said, taken aback.  “No. I’m just saying that if we are…”

“I love you,” she said.  “All of you. I want you to come over all the time.”

“Okay, calm down.  Nothing has to change, you just seem…”

“Off?”

“Weird,” he said.

“I feel weird,” she said, sitting up straight.

“You can’t solve the problems of the world.  You have to let that stuff go.”

“Who else will do it?” she asked.  “Isn’t there some stupid saying about that?  Something like, if not me then who?”

“No one can solve the world’s problems, that’s why something big is coming to flatten everything so you guys can start over.”

“Oh, great. Thanks for that.”

“What do you think you can possibly do to make a difference?” he asked, his tail flicking back and forth.

“Nothing.”

“So let it go and just enjoy all of us.  You love cats, so be happy we’re all here.”

“I am happy you are all here.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I’m not happy.”

“Why do you think you should be happy?” he asked.

She laughed.”Good point.”

“What is happy, anyway?  Something that lasts a few seconds?  A state of mind?  I mean your brain makes your reality, so reprogram your brain for happiness.  That’s what I do,” he said, rolling onto his side.  Life is just a mass hallucination anyway, so reprogram yourself, that’s what change is. Look at things differently and then you can be happy.”

“Bad things are coming.  China, Russia and the rest of the oil producing countries are joining together, without the USA, and they want to use different currency which will make the dollar worthless.”

“You guys will think of something. You always do.”

“I don’t know. And what if the earth rolls on it’s side and there are thousand mile an hour winds that destroy EVERYTHING and…”

“Is that happening today?”

“I doubt it,” she said, looking around.  “At least I don’t think so.”

“Then be happy today and don’t worry about what comes next.  That’s what drives all of you humans crazy, thinking about what could be or might be, instead of what is.  Cats just think about eating, hunting, snuggling, dreaming and sleeping.  They don’t worry about where, or how, they will do those things tomorrow, they just do those things in the moment. You get upset about things that might never happen.  And even if they do happen, there’s nothing you can do about any of it.  If the earth changes its axis, how are you going to stop any of it?  No one ever promised you anything, you know.  You guys just take everything for granted and your egos are what’s destroying the world.  It’s too bad,” he said, closing his eyes.  This could have been a nice place, if it wasn’t for all of you.”

“You’re not helping.”

“I didn’t know I was supposed to help. I thought I was supposed to tell you my truth.”

“Blah,” she muttered.

“You’re all a bunch of whiny babies who never stop complaining and never do anything about what bothers you.”

“That’s not true.”

“I know.  I was just seeing if you were paying attention.  But the part about you all being whiny babies is true.”

“Something is wrong.”

“Pretty much everything is wrong, but don’t worry, because in the future, maybe around the year 3003, or something, your brains are going to evolve and a new piece will be added, so you’ll all be nice and cooperative and you won’t even need laws, because you’ll all want what’s best for the whole. It’s going to happen. Scientists know that.  But first bad things will happen and after that there will be one government run by bad people, just like today, the rich and powerful, but you’ll all be nicer.  So basically it’s the same old, same old, but you might not mind what’s going on.”

“That does’t make any sense.”

“That’s what I think,” he said. “I mean they said the brain thing would mean equality but maybe I’m mixing up the lectures. Still one government sounds bad to me.  But who knows. I think they said there won’t be any competition and it won’t be a fear based reality. But if this is a hologram, or video game, you just have to change the code.  Now, who made up the original code is an interesting question. They have actually found CODE in genetic material…zeros and ones.  Scientists don’t know what to do about that. They have no idea what it means.  It means this is all code, but they seem confused. This is a game for real.  And why do you think there are limits on how fast you can go?  Can’t travel faster than the speed of light?  Why?  Because the code stops at a certain place, and the game ends, so whatever is writing everything into into existence, doesn’t want you to go any farther. You’re being played,” he laughed.  “Get it?   Video game, being played?”

“Not that funny,” she said.

“You have no sense of humor.”

“You’re probably right,” she sighed.  “So, we’re not really real?”

“No,” he said. “Nothing is really real, whatever made everything just wants things to torture.”

“That’s not supposed to be funny, is it?”

“No, it’s not,” he said.  “It’s supposed to be true.  Here’s the thing,” he continued, “supposedly you guys have been erased a few times before.  Whoever is playing with you gets angry that you are messing things up AGAIN.  So he kills off everyone and begins agin, but the same thing happens because the code doesn’t change that much.  If the designer is pissed off because kids aren’t protected, then why doesn’t the designer change the code?  Why does the designer ALLOW things to happen, that he/she or it, doesn’t want to happen?  That’s a problem. The designer made you what you are and is not happy with what you are, or what you do with what you are, so what’s the end game? It doesn’t make sense. Why encode hatred, if you only want love, then get angry when people hate and kill each other?”

“I need a nap,” she said, putting her head down on her knees.

“You don’t have to worry about anything, you’ll die soon and it will be over.”

“That’s true.”

“Or maybe you won’t die, you’ll just run out of code. But I guess that’s the same thing.”

“Maybe,” she said.

“Hi,” said Jinx, jumping up next to her.

She put her arms around him and kissed his face. “You’re so beautiful.”

“Thanks,” he purred. “What are you two talking about?”

“The coded universe and how this is all a game,” he said.

“Everyone knows that,” said Jinx, “don’t they?”

“Not everyone,” she laughed.

They chatted for awhile longer, then she kissed both of them and left.

“She doesn’t really get it, does she?” asked Jinx.

“No. But she’s only human, so we can’t expect that much, can we,” he said, watching her go.

The Conversation…

“If you tell me I look tired, I’m leaving,” she said, setting down her tote bag.

“If I say that, will you still leave the food?”

“Ack!”

“Most people I see look tired.  I think you’e all working too hard and the world is falling apart, so I guess it’s understandable.  You don’t nap enough.”

“The world isn’t falling apart, we are,” she said.

“It’s because none of you have any control over your lives.  Look at the latest school shooting in Tennessee.   Transgendered person, shoots out the window, gets into a religious school and kills three nine year olds and three grown ups.  The cops kill the person but the NRA doesn’t think assault rifles kill people, people do, and you let them get away with killing kids, or anyone they please.  Why don’t you stop them?”

“A question we ask ourselves all the time,” she muttered.

“And you think you’re the smartest animals on the planet.  What a joke.”

She nodded.

“You know,” he said, “once your species is gone, nature will take over all that you’ve made.  You build things that need constant upkeep and once you stop taking care of things, which, by the way, takes up your entire lives, everything will fall apart, be covered by ivy or something, and no trace of you will be left.”

“We won’t care.”

“You won’t be able to see how pretty everything will be without you.”

“I can imagine it.”

“Just be sure to let all your pets out before you go.  I mean some are pampered and won’t know how to live, but others will become feral and revert back to their natural ways.  It won’t be easy, but some will manage.”

“You never cease to cheer me up.”

“I do what I can,” he said, pawing at his dish.  “In a healthy society, people don’t need to medicate themselves just to get through their day.”

“What’s a healthy society,” she laughed.  “Paris is a mess right now.”

“Lots of places are messes where your species lives…oh, wait.  You’re species lives everywhere.”

“Wow.  You’re extra nasty today,” she said.

“No I’m not.  I’m just telling you how things are so you can change things”

She snorted and started laughing again.  “Thanks,” she gasped.  “I’ll get right on it.”

“Why do you put up with the way things are?”

She sighed and leaned back against the step she was sitting on.  “Why do you think we’re all tired.”

“Summer is coming.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?” he asked, licking his claws.

“For reminding me that sunshine exists and I won’t always have to wear a coat and flowers will bloom and the sky will be a pretty blue and birds will sing and…”

“I get it.”

“That was a run on sentence.”

“Ya think?” he said.  “I caught a mouse in your yard last night.”

“And?”

“I let him go.  He told me his name but I forgot what it was.”

“Thank you for that.”

“That’s what he said.”

“This is a planet of death,” she said.

“Well, yeah.  Everything here is made to kill or be killed.  Everything dies.  Even plants kill each other.  Did you know that deer can’t see the lion for the first few seconds, giving the lion a better chance of catching them?  Made to die.”

“I’m going home.”

“You always say that.”

“You always make me more depressed.”

“More depressed than what?” he asked.

“This is what makes me tired.”

“No it’s not.  Your all tired because your basically powerless.”

“See, that’s what I mean.  You….”

“Tell you the truth?”

“Yes.”

“Well, kiss me, pet me and go home.  We’re all coming over tonight.”

“Good.  I just bought new catnip mice.”

“Nice.”

She put her head on his side and listened to him purr.  Then she sat up and ran her hand over his body.  She kissed him and rubbed his ears.  She felt him relax and kissed him some more.

“Tell Jinx I’ll see him tonight,” she whispered.

“Mmmm,” he purred.

“I love you.”

“I know,” he said and curled up into a ball.

She smiled, picked up her things, and quietly walked away.

 

 

The Conversation…

“Geez, slow down, will you,” he said.

“I’m not moving.  I’m just sitting here, waiting for you to start eating.”

“Your molecules are doing the cha cha.  What’s with you?”

‘I’m fine,” she sighed.

“You don’t look fine.  You’re aura looks as if it’s been in one of those mixer things.”

“You can see auras?”

“Cats can see everything.  How can you still be surprised by what we can do?”

“I have no idea.  Really, I don’t,” she sighed, looking at her shoes.

“You may have some latent cat talents, but will you get your DNA tested for cat?  Noooo, you won’t.”

“I seriously doubt that I have any cat DNA in me.”

“But you can’t be sure, can you,” he said.

“I’m  no talking about this.”

“Your loss.”

“Spring will be here soon.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” he snickered, licking the last of the food off his plate.

“It’s the middle of March.”

“And?”

“Okay, so maybe not that soon.”

“Say something interesting or important.  I’m bored,” he said, rolling onto his side.

“Uh.”

“That’s it?  Uh?”

“Do you believe in free will?” she asked.

“Of course not.  Unless you mean when it comes to the unimportant things, like whether I want to eat a mouse or a chipmunk.”

“Really bad example,” she said, making a disgusting face, trying not to gag.

“Why?  Do you believe in it?  I mean if you don’t, what are you left with?  Predestination?”

“I don’t believe in free will here or when we’re dead,” she said.  “I mean yes, I can choose an apple or pear, or possibly take both of them, but no, we really don’t have it.  It just seems like it.  The thing is, free will only works within very tight perimeters. I mean, there are so many rules to everything that any choices one would make are out of the person’s hands.  You can only choose what others tell you you can have, what’s available.  So there’s no true free will, it’s just another lie, to make people believe they have some control over their lives, when they have very little.  People are simply manipulated into believing that…”

“See, you can come up with something interesting.  Still boring, however, but at least you tried.”

“Fine,” she said.  “You come up with something.”

“Do you believe that cats will someday rule the world?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said.  “Is that it?”

“When exactly, do you think that will happen?”

“Not for a long time.”

“How long?” he asked.

“I don’t know.”

“I’ll be the leader,” he said.

“Or maybe one of your great, great, great, great, great, great, great grand kittens will be.”

“So no time soon, then?”

“No.  No time soon.”

“What do you think about starting a tv show, or a podcast?”

“You want to be in a tv show?”

“I want to BE the tv show.  I’d be fantastic.”

“No one would be able to understand you.  No one really understands cat.”

“Dubbing.  If a big bird can make it in show business, why can’t I?  You should get an agent for me.”

“I’m going home,” she said, standing up.

“Will you think about it?”

“Sure,” she said.  “Tell Jinx, his food’s over there.”

“He knows that and he’s single again.”

“I guess he’s a lover, not someone looking for commitment.”

“Pretty much sums it up.”

“I love you,” she said, hugging him.

“I know.”

She kissed him, again and again, until he pushed her away.

“See you tonight?” she asked.

“Jinx and I will stop by.”

She smiled at him and headed home.  He curled up and closed his eyes, content, and ready to dream.

 

 

 

 

 

The Conversation…

“Why do you always look tired?  Cats never look tired,” he said.

“How can you tell when a cat’s tired?  Cats are always asleep.”

“Good point.  But still,” he yawned, rolling over.  “Don’t you ever go to bed?”

“Let’s talk about something else,” she sighed, putting his food in front of him.

“I mean there are at least ten cats on your bed every night, surely their purring can help put you to sleep.”

“It’s more about them sleep on me, or pushing me, or purring on my head.”

“I don’t get it.” he said.

“I didn’t think you would.”

“The vet stopped by.  She said she would fix the females so they wouldn’t have kittens, if that’s what they wanted.  I told her they weren’t broken and who would deprive the world of any cats that could possibly be born?  She didn’t seem to understand.”

“Life is hard on the street.  You know that.”

“I do.”

“She was saying that she could make it so the females didn’t have any kittens, so they wouldn’t be forced to be sick or hurt and die at an early age.”

“You make things sound terrible.”

“They are, for a lot of cats.”

“I’ll talk to them,” he said.

“Okay.”

“Your species makes life hard for everyone and everything.  You’re the ones who need to be fixed.”

“You’re right.”

“I know.”

“I’m thinking of taking up painting.  I saw a program where a pig and a monkey were making a lot of money, painting on canvas.  So, I thought…how hard can it be, right?  You can pick up the supplies and I can walk across the canvas, use a brush, here and there, and then you can sell my work and use the money to buy more stuff for us.”

She stared at him.  “That’s a great idea.”

“It is?”

“Yes.  It is.  I’ll get what you need on the way home.”

“Then I can begin tomorrow.  That’s good because I heard someone say that another country may try to invade us and that would definitely interfere with my art career.”

“I don’t think anyone is going to invade us, especially if they ever saw a really pissed off American.”

“If you say so,” he said.  “I know you always win in the movies.  Even when there are aliens involved.”

“That’s true.”

“But movies are pretend, aren’t they?”

“We still win.”

“Perhaps that’s a false sense of accomplishment.”

“It’s not.  We have all the guns.”

“That’s true. Plus you’re a melting pot so you can feed anyone from anywhere, since everyone from everywhere is already here.”

“I never thought of that, but you’re right.”

“I’m always right.”

“We do have every kind of food imaginable and people from everywhere.”

“Duh.”

“I think I’ll get tacos on the way home.  I’m having Italian tomorrow, with a friend of mine.”

“What’s American food?”

“Uh, Grilled Cheese, mac and cheese? I have not idea.  Not really. I don’t know if there is any American food.  Pancakes?”

“I don’t think so.”

“I don’t think so either.”

“Corn on the cob!,” he said.

“Yes!!!  Corn on the cob.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Almost.”

“Good enough.  Now can I have more of whatever you just gave me?” he said, pawing at his empty plate.

“Yes,” she said.

“Jinx said he had fun at your place last night.”

“Oh, good.  I got a couple new bean bag chairs.”

“I don’t mean to rush you, but maybe you should go and get the art supplies.  Cats can’t see the same colors you see, so use your own judgment.  I might stop by tonight and look things over.”

“Works for me,” she said, cleaning up.

“Hug and kiss me now, and get it over with.”

She wrapped her arms around him.  He leaned into her.  She kissed me all over his face and ran her hands down his sides.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I know,” he said, shaking his fur back into place.  “Now go, already.”

“You love me too, you know.”

“Whatever,” he said.

She kissed him again, picked up her tote bag and left him to his nap.

 

 

The Conversation…

“Whatever happened to those kids who were going to get Congress to change gun control laws.  They had their pictures on the covers of magazines, were interviewed, marched, got everyone excited and then…”

“Nothing ever comes of things like that.  The rich women went to Washington, all huffy, about a shooting in THEIR neighborhood.  Nothing happened for them either.  I bet that was a surprise.  Entitlement brings certain expectations you know.  Anyway, the government lets people blow off steam, while they take money from gun lobbyists.  Then they just wait until everyone gets tired of demonstrating and yelling.  They know that eventually everyone will go back to their regular lives.  No matter how many kids die in school shootings, no matter how many people march for BLM, or women’s rights, nothing happens and it won’t…not until we the people, make a new government.”

“And when will that happen?”

“Never.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“Why are you bring that up?” she asked, giving him a heaping plate of cat food.

“I was just thinking about how long it will take for people to rebel.”

“Good luck with that,” she snorted.

“Doesn’t the government care how many of your kids die from gun violence?”

“No.  They’re too busy protecting the cells of a fetus, to think about kids who are hungry and cold, shot to death in classrooms and all the rest.  It’s not about what’s right and wrong, it’s about controlling certain populations.”

“And you guys just let it happen?”

“I’m not talking about this again, because nothing has changed and you know they’ve made it impossible for us to change anything.”

“Maybe you should start a new country.  You guys did that to the Native Americans.  Just name a place something new and form a different government.  Be sure you have a flag.  I’ve heard that flags are important.”

She stared at him.  “If only.”

“I like this food.  You can bring it again.”

“Thanks” she said, getting some treats out of her tote bag.

“Are we having a valentine’s Day Party?” he asked, washing his whiskers with his paw.

“Sure.”

“If it’s a day of love and we all love hamsters, so how could it be a bad thing to bring a bunch of live hamsters…”

“No.  Absolutely not.”

“You’re no fun.  You probably already know that, since I can’t be the only one to have told you.  But I was wondering if you could get us a seal.  They seem to have a lot of them in California and I figured they wouldn’t miss one, or two, of them.”

“You do know that seals are BIG animals, don’t you.  And they can’t run, so you can’t chase them and play with them.  They could roll on you and squash you like a bug, or maybe eat you.”

“So, will you order one?” he asked, hopefully.  “They don’t sell them on Amazon.  I already looked.  The only ones they have are stuffed ones for kids.”

“You actually thought Amazon sold live seals?”

“They sell everything else, so why not?”

“Sometimes you make me feel as if I’m living in THE YELLOW WALLPAPER.”

“Are you saying that I’m driving you crazy and one day I’ll see you crawling along the curb muttering to yourself?”

“Yes.  That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“You need to chill out,” he said.

“You read THE YELLOW WALLPAPER?”

“I sat in on a lit class a couple of summers ago, so yeah, I read it.  The other woman in the story was the real enemy.”

“Yes, I know.”

“Human females are low on the totem pole.”

“Ya think?”

“I do, that’s why I said it.”

“Sometimes you make me tired.”

“That’s a good thing, right?  I mean you’re always exhausted.”

She nodded.  “I’m trying to solve the world’s problems through sleep depravation.”

“I don’t think that’s going to work.  No one even knows what you’re doing.”

“I was being facetious.”

“Maybe you should get people together to clean up the plastic laying on beaches.”

“We don’t live by an ocean.”

“We live by a big lake,”  he said.  “A REALLY big lake.”

“I think it’s pretty clean. They have who people take care of that, at least in the rich areas.”

“Why can’t they do that everywhere?  I mean by the oceans.”

“They obviously don’t want to.”

“Again…your species are slobs and idiots.”

“And?”

“Just saying.”

“It’s called stating the obvious.”

“I’m ready for a nap.”

“Well, don’t let me stop you,” she said, cleaning up.  “Tell Jinx hello.  His food is right here and I’ll see all of you tonight.”

“Don’t forget about the seal.”

“What seal?” she said, standing up.

“You do know that I know your credit card number, right?”

“Sweet dreams,” she whispered, kissing his face.  “I love you.”

“Yeah, I know.  Just not enough to get me a seal.”

She ran her hands over his side, kissed him again, and walked away as his eyes were closing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Conversation…

“Our relationship is no longer working,” he said.

She stared at him.  “What are you talking about?”

“You aren’t giving me your full attention.”

“Jeez, sorry abut that,” she said, putting a dish of food in front of him.  “I do have a life, you know.”

“One that’s supposed to be dedicated to me and to the rest of the cats.”

“Oh, is that how you see it.”

“That’s how it is,” he said.  “I don’t know what’s distracting you, but you’re not putting a hundred percent into me anymore.”

“You could ask me why, you know.”

“Okay, I’ll bite.  Why are you ignoring us?”

“I’m not ignoring you.  I’m here everyday and you come over every night.  I just don’t stay as long as I used to, some days.”

“Why?”

“I’ve been…busy, I guess.”

“Catmass is over, so there’s no excuse.”

“It was a good party, wasn’t it,” she said, thinking of the cats climbing the trees.

“It was a great party,” he agreed, but that wasn’t the question.”

“I’m tired.”

“You look tired and you’re probably not eating enough chocolate.”

“True.”

“We depend on you, you know that, right?  You  probably haven’t even heard about Jinx’s new girlfriend.”

“Tell me,” she said excitedly.

“She’s from Canada.”

“And?”

“What more do you need to know?”

“What does she look like?”

“Petite, pink nose, white fur with black spots.”

“Sounds pretty.”

“Jinx thinks so.”

“How are the heated beds working out?” she asked.

“Good.  Everyone likes them.  It’s getting colder each night.”

“Everyone can always stay with me,” she said.

“I know.  Over the next few days, they might, at least once the sun goes down.”

“The vet told me that everyone looks pretty good.”

“She said Terry’s ear is almost better,” he said.

“That’s good news,” she said, happily.  “I wanted him to stay at my place longer but he said he wanted to be outside.”

“Yeah, he’s been out a long time.  Hard for him to be inside a house.”

“Maybe you could talk him into a few more days, so I can keep an eye on his ear.”

“Maybe.”

“Are you still sulking?”

“I don’t sulk,” he said, sitting up straight.  “Ever.”

“Seems like you’re sulking,” she said, looking at him.

“Well, I’m not and you should be more worried about the cops killing guys in the street.”

“I am worried about that, but it seems as if it’s never going to stop.  No matter how insane, they just keep killing people.”

“You don’t really do anything to make any of the people in charge, change. You’re all a bunch of…”

“You’re right,” she said, miserably.

“I’m always right,” he said.  “I can’t understand why you just don’t get that.”

“Did you ever notice how one generation just starts dying out and then suddenly, they’re all gone?”

“No,” he said.  “I never noticed that.  Cats don’t bother with those things.”

“That’s good,” she said.  “But whether you know it or not, it still happens.”

“You’re like a little ray of sunshine,” he said.  “You know that, don’t you?”

“I just though you’d want to know.”

“Well, you’re wrong…again,”  he said.

“Did you register for the gardening class you want to take?” she asked.

“No.  I think I’ll just get a book that tells me everything I want to know about growing catnip.”

“That’s a good idea.  I can look for a book, if you like.”

“Thanks, but there’s an angora who lives down the street and she said she’d order it from Amazon, when her people were out,” he said.

“Pretty soon, the only place to shop will be Amazon.  Then what?  It’s scary to think about, she said.

“The only way to stop that is to stop buying from them.”

“You’re right.  So that’s one more thing that’s never going to change.  The new kids don’t even know what life was like without Amazon.  So, I guess I’ll see you tonight, then.”

“Yes.  We’re coming for dinner,” he said.

“Who is coming for dinner?”

“All of us, mostly.”

“Oh, then I have to go to the store before I go home.  I’ll pick up some fresh nip for all of you and some new fake mice.”

“Always fake,” he said, unhappily.

“Yes, always,” she said, leaning forward to rub her face against his.  “I love you.”

“I know.”

She ran her hands over him, then kissed his nose.

“Yuk, don’t DO that,” he said, running his paw over his face.  “Gross.”

She smiled, stood up, said goodbye and walked away.

“Watch out for cars,” he called, then curled into a ball and closed his eyes.