The Conversation…

“I’ve been thinking,” he muttered.

“Should I be concerned?”

“About what?” he asked.

“About what you’ve been thinking.”

“Why would you be concerned about what I was thinking?”

“Never mind,” she said.  “Just tell me.”

“Sometimes you’re really weird.”

“Maybe.  So, what were you thinking?”

“You know how you guys don’t always understand each other?  I don’t mean that you can’t understand the words you use, I mean that some of you think a person is one thing when he’s another, and stuff like that.”

“Yes.  What about it?”

“The problem is that you know who you are, but everyone else sees you through their own eyes, which comes with their life’s worth of experiences, prejudices, and beliefs.  So no one can possibly see the real you because they can only see what they can see because of who they are.”

“I know.  That’s true.” she said.

“You knew that?”

“Of course I knew that.”

“Why didn’t you say anything about it?”

“Why would I?”

“Because it’s important,” he said, shocked at her lack of clarity.  “It’s the biggest problem in the entire world.”

“And there’s absolutely nothing that can ever be done about it.”

“But no one can ever know the real you.”

“Right.”

“Doesn’t that bother you?” he asked.

“No.  Why should it?  People live on assumptions, the ideas of others, mixed messages, and emotions.  That is never going to change.  It can’t.”

He put his paw on her nose.  “Wait,” he said.  “Pay attention.  I’m telling you that no one will EVER, in your entire lifetime know you as you know yourself.  Never know who you are, and you will never know anyone else.”

“Why is your paw on my face, and I couldn’t care less if anyone ever knows who I am, of vice versa.”

“I was expecting a different reaction,” he said, removing his paw.  “I don’t think you have a clear understanding of how important this issue is. No one ever knows another person.  That has to mean something.”

“It really doesn’t, it’s just the way things are around here.  Stupid and insane. If you care, or worry about things, you’ll never be happy, because nothing makes any sense.”

“I’m so glad I’m a cat,” he sighed, laying down.

“You should be,” she said, putting dry food into a bowl.

“What about death?”

“What about it?”

“Are you afraid of it.”

“Why would I be afraid of it?  The only thing I’m afraid of is that I won’t die, or when I do, there might not be cats, books and chocolate on the other side.  Other than that, there’s really nothing to worry about.”

“Maybe that’s what hell is.  No cats.”

“Too terrible to contemplate,” she said, shivering.

“It wouldn’t be hell for cats if humans weren’t there.”

“Maybe.  But we love you a lot, and I think some of you love us too.”

“I guess,” he said, “but if there were people there they would have to be nice ones.”

“Most definitely,” she agreed, petting him.

“Ya know, you guys think you’re so smart and so much better than everyone else, but the truth is, all the things you are, all the things you’re so proud of, just make you unhappy.  No other species is unhappy.  Just you.”

“I wish I could argue with that.”

“Mostly you work, compete, clean, lie, fight, kill, and dislike each other.  You’re addicted to everything in order to escape the lives you’ve made for yourselves.”

“I can’t change that either,” she said, giving him treats.

“We’re all coming over tonight.”

“You are?”  Oh, good.  I love when you all come over.”

“Sardines?”

“Nope.”

“Any hens, gerbils, mice, voles or…”

“No.”

“I still haven’t found a vole, you know.”

“Oh, good,” she said, kissing him.  “If you’re coming over, I want to stop at the store, so I’ll see you tonight.”

“I think Jinx has a girlfriend.  A calico.  Her name is Rage.”

“Rage?”

“She’s a good fighter.  Tough, but nice.

“I’m happy for him.”

“He’ll bring her with tonight, so you can meet her.”

“Can’t wait,” she said.  “Maybe it’s time for you to find someone special.”

“Naw,” he said, licking his paw.  “I like to play the field.”

She laughed.  “I love you.”

“I know.”

“See you later.”

“Whatever.”

 

The Conversation…

“I read some of the things on your blog,” he said.

“How?”

“That’s not important.  The thing is, you don’t write enough about cats.”

“I write about cats all the time.”

“No, you don’t, and you put far too many dogs on it.”

“I do not,” she said, huffily.

“Yes you do and I hope you take criticism well, because I have some more things to say.”

“Great,” she sighed.

“To begin with, you’re sarcastic.  And you write about things people don’t like to think about, or even want to know about.  And you’re too angry.  You’re not sweet, like some of the other bloggers.”

“Seriously?”

“Just trying to help.”

“You think I’M the one who’s sarcastic?”

“Yes.”

She started laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

She pointed at him.

“What?  I didn’t say anything that was in the least bit humorous.  You need to chill out,” he said.  “I’m trying to tell you something important.”

She laughed harder.

“What’s wrong with her?” asked Jinx, walking over to his dish.

“No idea,” he said, staring at her.

“Did you tell her she doesn’t put enough cats on her blog?”

“I did.”

“I don’t think it went well, from the looks of things,” said Jinx, nibbling on his treats.  “These are good.”

She took a deep breath and sighed.  The she looked at him and started laughing again.  Finally, she leaned against the stair and said, “Hey, Jinx.  How’s it going?”

“Good,” he answered.  “No problems.”

“Glad to hear it,” she said, wiping the tears off her face.  “He thinks I’m sarcastic,” she snickered.

“He told me,” said Jinx.

“Do you think I’m sarcastic?”

“I didn’t read your blog, but in real life, no, you’re not.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Jinx,” he said.  “Don’t you have to be someplace else.  I’m trying to work here.”

Jinx rubbed against her legs, enjoyed a few pets, then wandered off.

“I’m not getting you anymore sardines,” she said.  “It’s too sad and I can’t do it.”

“What is wrong with you?” he asked.  “This place is a killing field, a kill or be killed world.  We kill to live.”

“Don’t care.  Not doing it.”

“Is this because of what I said?”

“No, it’s because of the sardines. They are tiny fish and don’t deserve to be die so that everyone can eat them.  It’s barbaric.”

“Aside from bad people, who, or what, does deserve to die?  Yet dying takes place every second.”

“It’s just too terrible.  Tiny fishlings.”

“Fishlings is not a word. You should know that. And what will you feed us at your house?  Lettuce?  If you give us lettuce you can watch us die a slow and horrible death.  Either that or we’ll have to catch more birds.”

“Ack!”

“You can live on bread, but we can’t.  It’s all about protein.  Someone dies for our cat food, you know.  Someone ALWAYS dies.”

“I don’t want anyone to die.”

“Good luck with that,” he snorted, licking his tail.  “If you added up everything that died on this planet in one minute, the number would be too large to say before you died of old age.”

“Do you think it’s like this everywhere in the universe?”

“Not just like this, but we don’t know.  Could be better, according to your definition of ‘better,’ or could be worse.”

She nodded.  “Don’t you think it’s cruel and horrific that you can’t live without eating other living beings?”

“I don’t think about it at all, actually.  It’s what I am.”

“Maybe I’m in the wrong place.  Maybe I don’t really belong here.”

“Who does?” he said.  “Maybe we all landed in the wrong place, or maybe humans were put here because you’re all too dangerous to be allowed to be anywhere else.”

“Maybe.”

“Ants are everywhere.  I think this is a Planet of the Ants,” he snickered.

“Funny.”

“But true.  Admit it, you can’t knock over a rock without them teeming by the billions.  We need ant eaters around here.”

“That’s really a good idea,” she said, smiling.  “We really could use a lot of anteaters. And goats, to mow the lawn.”

“What do goats taste like?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, packing things away.  She leaned over and kissed him, ruffled his fur, and whispered sweet nothings into his ear.  She felt him purr and kissed him again, as he was drifting off to sleep.

“Sarcastic, my ass,” she said, as she walked away.

“I heard that,” he said.

“You were supposed to.”

He smiled and fell into his dream.

 

 

 

The Conversation…

“Ive been thinking” he said.

“About?” she asked, filling a dish with cat food.

“War.”

“And?”

“It’s stupid.”

“Yes, it is.”

“So why do you guys do it?”

“It’s like this,” she said, opening the treat bag.  “I can’t start a war.  No one in this neighborhood or state can start a war.  People can’t start wars.  There are one or two moronic men in positions of power who are the one’s who start wars.  They take the money they grab from hard working people, to build weapons that kill the people they are supposed to protect. People have no say in it.  Wars are started by a few greedy, power hungry, mentally unstable men, and when one of them attacks, the other one fights back.  Bullies on really big playgrounds.  No detentions, physical injuries and death, instead.  But there’s no money for health care or schools, just weapons.”

“Why do you let them do it?”

“Why do we let governments do anything,” she sighed.  “We’re idiots.  Our children die, so that those two or three men can sit safely in their offices and count the numbers of bodies, hoping they have more living people to outlast the amount the other person has.  At least that’s the way it seems to me.”

“You know that doesn’t make sense, right?”

“Of course it doesn’t,” she agreed.

“Civil wars are different.”

“Yes, they are.  That’s because we’re fighting ourselves.  It’s like a big gang war, fighting for our colors and turf.  Still stupid, but our beliefs, and deep seated desire for freedom and a lot of other things, play into that.  We live here, and we don’t want to live by the rules of the people we can’t stand, or disagree with.”

“I understand that,” he said, licking his paw.  “When a tom won’t stop fighting we run him off.”

“Exactly.  You believe your neighborhood should be the way you want it to be.  It’s the same for us.  And it’s never going to end.”

“The fighting?”

“Yes.  The differences between us are too great to be overcome.  They aren’t issues where their is room for compromise.  They are yes or no things.”

“Do you think you’ll all become extinct?”

“Sure.  Eventually.  Not today, though.”

“Do you have an idea of when?”

“No, why?”

“Just wondering.”

She laughed.  “You’re all waiting for us to disappear, aren’t you,” she said.

“Pretty much.  No one will get run over, shot, tortured, abused, starved, caged…”

“I get it,” she said miserably.  “I don’t blame you.”

“It’s not just cats, you know.  It’s everything that lives on the earth. Everyone would be happy if your species was gone.”

“I think you’ll have to wait a little longer, but you should be worried about what we’ll end up doing to each other.  If there’s a nuclear war, there could be a lot of damage and radiation.  It could kill everything.”

“I can’t do anything about that.”

“Neither can I,” she said, petting his back.  “People have given away their power.”

“Nineteen eighty four?”

“The other side wants that for sure.”

“Can you stop them?”

“I don’t know.”

“What will happen if you can’t?” he asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Civil war, like you said?”

“That’s definitely a possibility, I guess.”

“Won’t be fun.”

“No. But the past four years they were in office weren’t fun either.”

“Everyone loved the sardines, by the way.”

“I’m glad.  I’ll get them again.”

“I tried to tell them that you won’t buy us a live gerbil, or a rabbit, or a hen.  I told them you’re against those kinds of things.”

“What did they say?”

“They told me to keep trying to talk you into it.”

“Never gonna happen,” she said, shaking her head, cleaning up the dishes.  “Not in a million years.”

“We won’t be here in a million years,” he said, grabbing the last treat.

“We might be back in different bodies.”

“What if you’re the cat?” he snickered.

“Well if you were the person, I would hope you would love me as much as I love you.”

He looked away, then flopped onto his back.

“Life’s not easy, is it,” he said.

“No.  Not really.”

“Why do you have kids when you know they’re going to die?”

“Because we don’t believe they are going to die, even thought we know they will.”

“You’re all crazy.  You know that don’t you?” he asked.

“I do know that.  We don’t have much of a choice about having kids, our bodies pump us full of hormones and our brains lie to us.  We’re animals, remember?  Some fight it and win, but others, not so much.”

“Have you ever noticed how many of you there are?”

“I have.”

“Too many.”

“Yes.  Too many.”

“Resources and all that.”

“Mmmmm.”

“Don’t you care?”

“Not so much.  I fought most of my life for things and when we won, we only won temporarily.  Once we got a bill passed, it’s was never really safe.  So the fighting never ends.  It just goes on and on, generation after generation.  It’s ugly and hateful.”

He nodded.  “You’re making me tired.”

“Funny,” she snickered.  “You’re making me feel the same way.  So, I’ll see you tonight.”

“You can kiss me a couple times and then go.”

“Wow.  Thanks.”

“Whatever.”

 

 

The Conversation…

“What happened to you?”

“I spent yesterday at the DMV.”

“Ah,” he said, knowingly.  “How bad was it?”

“Bad enough, although the people were very nice and they didn’t ask for the first born of my great-great-great grandchildren.  No blood was shed and I kind of liked the guy who was with me for my road test.  We talked politics and about our old neighborhoods.”

“You took a road test?”

“It happens.”

“Okay, then,” he said, washing his face.

“They have everyone stand far apart in lines, then make all of us sit next to people, so closely that our legs almost touch.  How does that make sense?”

“It’s the DMV and you’re looking for things to make sense?”

“Right.  Silly of me.”

“Did you pass?”

“Of course, but I had to constantly remind myself not to speed.”

“You know there isn’t another animal on the entire planet that owns anything.  They have no need for bags or suitcases, cars, moving vans, or anything else.”

“What’s your point?”

“We don’t need clothes either.  You’re the only one’s who don’t have self regulating bodies.  You freeze and fry and I don’t know…you’re just so needy and weak.  It’s as if you’re unprepared to actually live without a lot of stuff.”

“And?”

“You have things all over the places you live.  How could you possibly survive if that was all taken away from you?”

“Do you know something I don’t?”

“Just asking.”

“You see a lot of different kinds of people at the DMV.”

“Yeah, well, diversity and all that.”

She nodded.  “It was kind of strange.”

“You don’t get out enough.”

“Maybe,” she snickered.

“It’s getting darker earlier and earlier.”

“Gee, thanks for that uplifting bit of news.”

“Winter is coming.”

“Winter is always coming and then construction will end for awhile.  Those are really the only two seasons we have.  Winter and construction.”

“I heard they’re sending the Feds in, to try and control the gun traffic.”

“Hmmm.  I think the city is suing Indiana because that’s where over twenty percent of guns come from.”

“Do you think that will change anything?”

“No.”

“Neither do I.”

“The problems are systemic,” she said.  “Until we deal with the cause, nothing will change.”

“Will you buy sardines for tonight at your place.”

“I don’t like doing that, but I will.”

“For me?”

“Yes, and for the others.”

“We need protein or we’ll die.”

“I know that.”

“Maybe a hamster or gerbil, as well.”

She sighed, and finished cleaning up. “It’s late, I’ll stop at the store on the way home and see you guys when you get to my place.”

“Aren’t you going to kiss me and tell me that you love me?”

“Definitely,” she said, as she leaned over him.  “I love, love, love you,” she whispered into his fur, kissing him between words.”

“Okay, okay, that’s enough!” he said, licking his shoulder.

She laughed and walked away.

“Watch out when you’re crossing the street,” he said.

She laughed and kept walking.

 

 

 

 

The Conversation…

“Question,” he said.

“Yes?” she asked, putting dry food on a dish.

“Why doesn’t homophobic mean fear of homes?”

“Because in Latin, homo means man.  I think yours is a much better definition, however, and  It makes perfect sense.”

“We aren’t Latin, right?  Who speaks Latin anymore?”

“No one that I know of,” she laughed.

“What about homo sapiens?”

“What about them?”

” If homo means man, and sapiens means human, then homo sapiens means man human.  What about the women?  And homophobic means man fear.  Homogeneous means man alike.”

“Why are we talking about this?”

“I was reading the dictionary,” he said.  “I’m on the letter ‘h’.”

“Hmm.  Well, our language doesn’t make sense.   We’re just used to it, so we don’t notice how crazy it all is.”

“I think some changes need to be made.  Who are those Latin’s anyway?”

“I think they’re all dead.”

“How convenient for them.”

“Yes, it is, isn’t it,” she agreed.

“You guys make everything so difficult.  Cat language isn’t as complicated.”

“Lucky you.”

“It’s a perfect day.  The weather is exactly as it should be,” he sighed, rolling onto his side.  Blue sky, bright sun.  Perfection.”

“I agree.”

“I saw a sign yesterday that said, DO THE RIGHT THING.  How stupid is that?  I mean the right thing  is different for each of us.  Biting people seems like the right thing for me to do, but I bet they wouldn’t like it if I did it.”

“I hate those signs,” she said.  “And you’re right.  I bet they wouldn’t like it.”

“What about all those people who hate other people?  For them, killing people might be the right thing to do.”

“How about the government and all those in power who only do the “right thing,” when it’s good form THEM.”

“No need to get excited,” he said.  “We’re just having a conversation.”

“It pisses me off.”

“Okay, so let’s talk about something less annoying.”

“Like?” she asked, putting treats in front of him.

“Good point,” he muttered.  “How about planting Milk Weed for butterflies.”

“I love that.”

“I chase them.”

“Great,” she sighed.

“Well, it’s their own fault.  They flutter around and…”

“I get it.”

“I don’t think there are any voles around here.  Jinx and I have looked and we can’t find a single one.  Maybe this isn’t vole country.”

“Didn’t your book say where they lived?”

“I didn’t finish it.  I kept falling asleep.”

“Understandable,” she said.

“It’s not that I don’t find voles interesting, it’s just that they’re interesting in real life, not in books.  I can’t catch them in books, so what’t the point?”

“I brought you some new catnip.”

“Nice,” he said, sitting up.

“I love you, but i have to go.”

“Why?”

“I’m meeting a friend for lunch.”

“You have friends?”

“I’m going to ignore that.”

“Why?”

“I love you,” she said, petting him.

“I know.”

“So much.”

“I know.”

She kissed him and then pulled a soft blanket out of her tote bag.

“I thought you might like to sleep on this, instead of on the cement.”

He sniffed it.  It smelled like her.  “I’ll try it.”

“Okay.”

She cleaned up the dishes and kissed him again.  “See you soon.”

“I’ll be here,” he said, raking the blanket with his claws, getting it just right for his nap.

 

 

 

 

The conversation…

“Smells like rain,” she said, looking at the sky.

“Looks like it too.  You can tell because of the dark clouds and the fact that the sun is completely gone, almost as if it never was.”

“Is that sarcasm?”

“That’s up to you, I suppose. I’m simply telling you what I see,” he said, stretching.

“You can always smell the rain around here.”

“Have you thought about the fact that XX women may become obsolete?”

“Yes, but then who would do all the cleaning up and who would men beat and hunt?”

“I’m not kidding.”

“Neither am I,” she said, pulling catnip mice out of her tote bag.  “People should be free to be who they want to be.”

“No body cares about that.  Of course people should be able to be whoever they want to be, but you have to realize that if trans women get into women’s sports, you’re out, right?  Trans women have male bodies.  Most men are faster, have longer legs, longer strides, more strength, bigger hands, and they have been raised and treated as males for their entire lives.  Fewer scholarships for XX girls, and you all worked so hard to get Title IX passed.  Men and women never compete against each other, because it’s unfair.  But that might not be true any longer,” he said, licking his paw.  “Trans men, of course, will never threaten the male establishment, since most women are smaller, weaker, and shorter than they are.  So, they won’t matter.  If they were a threat to XY males, they wouldn’t be allowed to exist.  But that’s not so for XX women.  And once scientists can fix it so men can carry a fetus to term, you will be completely unnecessary.  In fact, they may enact a law that XX’s can no longer have children, under threat of death and then you’ll have to run to a desert and live in a tent with a net over it so the drones can’t find you.  I mean that’s what happens in the movies,”  he continued, rolling on one of the mice.

“Actually, a trans man did have a baby, since he had an XX body. But they can just harvest our eggs and grow babies in jars, so…I guess we are already unnecessary, except for all the jobs men don’t want to do.  And I’m not too worried about living in a desert. They’d probably kill all of us before we knew what was happening.”

“A trans woman won a beauty contest,” he said.

“I know.”

“Longer legs, slimmer hips, taller, so why not,” he said.  “Now XY’s can have that too. They really need to have trans beauty pageants, trans sports and trans olympics, if you guys are to ever have a chance.  I mean I know beauty contests are horrible, but it can be a jumping off place for some women.  They can make money and start careers.”

“Why are you saying all of this?” she asked, giving him more treats.  “And how do you know so much about genetics?”

“All cats know about genetics, and I sat in on a graduate level genetic’s class at one of the colleges last year.  The professor wasn’t very good.  I think I know more than he does.  He never even mentioned the genetic superiority of cats.  Not once.”

“I see,” she said. “I guess that makes sense, and just saying that, kind of scares me.”

“Anyway, it’s completely unfair that you should have to compete with male bodies.  That’s why they have men and women’s sports.  Could you play basketball with the Chicago Bulls?  I don’t think so.  That’s why they have men and women’s everything.  In fact a woman was once thrown out of the Olympics because she had taken a drug that gave her an unfair advantage over the other women.  What kind of advantage do you think having a male body will have over yours?  Men don’t even compete against women in volley ball, or swimming and diving.  It’s not about what gender you want to be, it’s about what gender your body is.”

“I’m not going to be in the Olympics, I have absolutely no desire to play basketball with the Bulls and I’m not on any teams at all,” she said, wearily.  I have enough issues of my own.  Other people will have to figure that one out.”

“Bruce Jenner said it’s unfair for trans women to compete in women’s sports,” he said, washing his whiskers.

“I don’t think that’s his name anymore, and what do you want me to do about it?”

“Write letters.”

“To?”

“How should  I know.   I’m a cat.  I can’t do ALL of the work for you.  And another thing, trans gendered people should tell those they date that they are trans.  You can’t buy a car without knowing what’s under the hood and you can’t get a cat, if you don’t know what you’re getting either.  It should be mandatory.”

“I want to be a unicorn, and I’m not sure about your cat analogy.”

“A unicorn?” he sniffed, scraping his claws over the cement.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I thought you wanted to be a cat,” he said, grumpily.

“I do,” she admitted.  “But it might be fun to be a unicorn for a day or two.”

“Why would you want a horn growing out of your face?”

“Never mind,” she said, sighing.

“Just another fantasy biting the dust?” he asked.

She nodded.

“You know they don’t really sparkle and have flowers in their manes, don’t you?”

She shrugged.  “Maybe flowers fall from trees onto them and get stuck in their manes.”

“Now you’re just being silly.”

“There are far too many things to work on nowadays,” she said.  “Because of that, nothing will get done and the guys in charge of all of our lives will celebrate the ever thinning of our resources.  We can’t work on everything at the same time, so we dilute our power, and that’s just what the morons want.  It’s all about money and power anyway.”

“I…,” he said.

“I’m too tired to listen,” she said, holding up her hand.  “I’m going to nap on the stairs.”

“But it’s going to rain.”

“Don’t care.”

“You’ll get soaked,” he said.

“What’s she doing?” asked Jinx, staring at her.

“Going to sleep.”

“But it’s going to rain.”

“She said she doesn’t care.”

Jinx stared at her.  “I guess it’s her choice.”

“I guess it is.”

“Have you found any voles?” asked Jinx.

“No,” he said.  “Have you?”

Jinx shook his head.  “How long are you going to let her sleep?”

“Until she wakes up.”

“Did you have the XX, XY, talk with her?”

“I did.”

“How did it go?” asked Jinx.

“I don’t think she cares but she seemed surprised that I knew so much abut genetics.”

“Humans never give us enough credit,” said Jinx.  “Well, tell her I said thank you for the food. I’m off to do my rounds.”

“Be careful, there are some mean kids in the alley on Mason.”

“Thanks.  I’ll check in soon.”

He watched Jinx walk away, then jumped onto the stair where she was sleeping.  He started purring then curled up against her, and started to doze.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Conversation…

“WHAT is your problem?” he asked.  “You’ve been weird for days.  Just spit it our and get it over with.”

“I’m always weird.”

“Well, then, your even weirder than usual.”

“I’m fine, but thanks for asking, and I have new food for you.  It’s supposed to be the best and I think you’ll love it,” she said, smiling at him, as she put the full dish of food in front of him.

“You’re not answering my question.  What’s wrong with you?  You’re a million miles away.”

“You’re quick,” she laughed.

“Aside from that being the absolute truth, what’s bugging you?  And don’t say you’re tired, because you’re always tired.”

“I guess that’s true.  I am always tired.  Maybe it was something in the shots we all got.  Maybe that’s what’s making me tired.”

“Okay, so don’t tell me.”

“I’m glad it stopped raining.”

“The weather?  That’s what we’re going to talk about?”

“I’m reading a good book about the artist Leonora Carrington.  I’ve read about her before and…”

“zzzz.”

“Fine,” she said.  “What are you reading?”

“Something about voles.  It’s pretty interesting, actually.”

“I’m sure.”

“They’re small but tasty.”

“Stop it.”

“I’m just sayin’.”

“Do you think they’re going to bring dinosaurs back, if they can?”

“Yes.  You’re idiots, so again, yes.”

“I think so too.”

“Your science is based on, if we can do it, we will, and screw the consequences.”

“That’s true, I think that’s part of their scientific oath.”

“They have an oath?”

She shrugged.  “Maybe.  If there is one, I’m sure that’s part of it.”

“Are you sad?” he asked, moving a little closer to her.  “Is there something you want that you aren’t getting, or can’t have?”

She started petting him.  “I always felt that I had everything I ever wanted.  Maybe even more.”

“So?”

“It’s just a mood.”

“Cats are excellent a telling when someone is lying.  Did I mention that before?”

“Several times.”

“Ninety-five people were shot in Chicago over the weekend. Seventeen dead.  No one is in custody.”

“It’s summer.”

“Yeah,” he said.  “What’s wrong with you humans?”

“Everything.”

“Hard to fix that.”

“It’s impossible to fix us.”

“Is that what’s wrong with you?”

She nodded.

“You can come and live with us, if you like.”

“I love you so much,” she said kissing him.

“I don’t know how to make things better for you, but if you want, I’ll sit on your lap for a few minutes.”

“You will?  You’ve never done that before,” she said, surprised.

“Well, it’s not gonna happen all the time, so don’t even…”

She patted her lap and he climbed on to her and settled down.  She wrapped her arms around him and signed.

“Better?”

“Much,” she whispered.  “Thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said.

Then she started petting him and he closed his eyes and purred.

 

 

 

The Conversation…

“The humidity is making you look like a wet rat,” he said.

“Thanks.”

“Well, you do.”

“I know.”

“Every second we’re all closer to death.  You know that, right?  That goes for every living thing.  That’s big, don’t you think?  We’re all basically going in the same direction.”

“What?”

“Death,” you know.  The end of life?  When there’s no more catching birds.  I’m saying that we’re all closer to it every second.”

“Where is this coming from?” she asked, opening a new bag of cat treats.

“I saw it on TV.  But cats don’t think about that kind of thing.  We just live.  I don’t know what the big deal is.  If you worry about dying while you’re living, you’re not really living, you’re already half dead.  Cats live, right up to the end.”

“Cats smarter than we are.”

“That’s a given,” he snickered.

She kissed him.  “I love you.”

“I know, but we’re both gonna die.”

“It’s dark, raining, and your choice of subject matter is making me unhappy,” she said, closing her eyes.

“Will people miss you when you die?” he asked.

“I hope not.”

“Are people happy that you’re alive?”

“I guess you’d have to ask the people who know me,” she said.

“Do you care?”

“I have no interest in being remembered.  I believe in having fun, and death can make people sad and leave holes in their lives.”

“Do you think it’s better not to love, so you don’t feel bad?”

“That’s a hard question to answer.”

“Why?”

“I’ve had it both ways and it’s easier not to care.  Love can have a heavy price tag, if death stops by.  I’m sure there are those who feel things are just the opposite…that not caring costs as well.  It’s all a personal perspective and how good or bad you want to feel.”

“What about me?”

“What about you?” she asked.

“How will you feel when I die?”

She started crying.

He head butted her arm and she cried harder.

“Is this the price?”

She nodded.

“I’m still here,” he said.

She put her arm around him, but kept crying.

“Maybe you should stop loving me.”

She choked on a laugh.

“You should write a play,” he said.

“About what?” she sniffed.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t?  I thought you’d say I should write about cats.”

“That’s a given,” he said, “but maybe there’s something else you can write about.”

“Life weighs a lot.”

He licked his paw.

“It’s heavy.”

“Maybe you should write about that.”

“I think this place is hell,” she sighed.  “Actually, I’m sure of that.”

“I thought everyone knew that.”

“Maybe I should write bout that,” she said.

“Maybe you should,” he agreed.

“Will you stay overnight tonight?”

“Sure.  I’ll bring Jinx.”

“Thank you.”

“Will you have live hamsters for us?” he asked, hopefully.

“I will not.  You already know that.”

“What if I die tomorrow?”

“That’s not going to work.  No hamsters.”

“It was worth a try.”

“I have to go,” she said, petting him.  “I love you.”

She kissed him and saw Jinx walking toward her.  She gave him a hug and a kiss, put extra treats out for him and gave him a plate full of food.

Jinx rubbed against her legs and thanked her.

She got up, kissed both of them again, and left.

“She seems said,” said Jinx, watching her walk away.

“Yeah, well, she knows this is hell.”

“Ah,” Jinx said.  “Good thing she can’t see the stuff we can.”

“Humans are so limited.  They think when we’re staring at something, there’s nothing there.  They can’t see the monsters.”

Jinx nodded.  “I guess that’s a good thing.”

“Probably,” he said.  “It’s also a good thing the monsters are more interested in torturing them than us.”

“I don’t think there should be monsters.”

“I know.  But I told you before, if you didn’t want to come here to help them, then you should have gone somewhere else.”

“You’re right…again.”

“We’re staying at her place tonight,” he said.  “I’ll take her pillow, you can sleep in her arms.

“Okay.”

“Nap?”

“Nap,” said Jinx, curling into a ball.  “I like to sleep with her.  can humans purr?”

“I don’t think so,” he said.

“Poor things.”

“For so many reasons.”

“Sweet dreams,” said Jinx.

“Yeah, you too.”

 

 

 

 

 

The Conversation…

“I bought yellow carnations and another house plant today, so don’t let anyone eat them when you all come over tonight.”

“I can’t make any promises,” he said.  “Some cats like to dig in the dirt, eat plants, or just make a mess.  It’s the way we are.”

“Fine, I’ll put the plant on a shelf.”

“Like that’s gonna help,” he snickered.

“I went to Barnes today.  It was nice.  I had a warm chunky chocolate chip cookie and bought two books.”

“Were the books on how to breed mice, or anything else I might like?”

“No.  I would never buy a book like that and you know it.”

“It never hurts to ask.”

“I can’t believe the sun is out every single day.  I’m so HAPPY!”

“I can see that.”

“It’s like living…somewhere else,” she said, throwing her arms out to the side, turning her face toward the sun.  “Somewhere nice, where there’s sun like this all the time.”

“Climate change,” he said.  “It’s not a good thing.  We’re supposed to have miserable weather.  That’s why no one really wants to live here.  This extreme amount of sun is out of place.”

“Whatever.  I’m going to enjoy every single sunbeam.”

“You do know that you’re the only animal that has stuff, don’t you?”

“What do you mean?”

“No one else has clothes, chairs, showers, golf carts, computers, shoes, or anything else.  We are literally self sufficient.  You guys would die in five minutes if you were on your own.  Too hot, too cold, too hungry, to SLOW, to blind, deaf, helpless…”

“I get it, but so what?”

“I’m just saying.  You’re low species on the totem pole, if you know what I mean.  You have so many needs.  Just think of life without medication.  That would be one way to get rid of all of you.  Cut off the drug supply.”

“And?”

“You’re kind of pathetic.  I mean, the first guys here didn’t live in condo’s you know.”

“I know.”

“You’re never satisfied.  You always want more, and more has a high price.  A price that the planet and the rest of us have to pay.”

“You’re right.  I’m sorry.”

“Sorry is meaningless.  It won’t stop what’s happening.”

“You just can’t let me feel good, can you.  Not even for a minute.”

He shrugged.

“Did you just shrug?”

He smiled.

“Cat’s can’t shrug.”

“If you say so,” he chuckled, licking his tail.

“You can’t chuckle either, and you’re not supposed to be able to actually smile.”

“Okay,” he snickered.  “Could you bring a whole trout tomorrow?”

“No.”

“That’s it?  No?  Where’s your witty comeback?”

“I don’t want summer to ever end.”

“Seque?”

“Ya think?”

“I like it too,” he admitted, stretching.  “None of us like winter.  Not even a little.  We’d all rather sleep in the sun.”

“I love you.”

“I know.”

“So much.”

“Don’t say you love me to the moon and back because I’ve already told you that the moon is not that far away.  You guys just don’t understand time, and you die so fast that things seem to take longer than you think.  Other animals have a different relationship with time. I would explain it to you but your human brain won’t let you understand it.  You do know that your brain is not always your friend, don’t you?  It lies, loves repetition, and is willing to believe whatever you tell it.  No filter.  You can only go so far.  You can be programmed, brainwashed and conditioned sooooo easily.  The rest of us realize what part we all play in this…thing we’re doing together.  You’re the only one’s who don’t have a clue.”

“Here’s the thing.  I don’t know what you know.  But WE are the biggest and baddest dogs on the block.  You might want to remember that.”

“You mean you’re the best at torturing and killing yourselves and the rest of us?”

“Valid point.”

“All my points are valid.”

She kissed him and ran her hands over his back.  He started purring and she leaned against him.  He closed his eyes and let her, while they fell asleep and Jinx watched them from across the street.

 

The Conversation…

“Do you think it will ever rain?”

“Eventually,” she said, unpacking her tote bag.

“The picture you drew last night wasn’t very good.”

“I know,” she sighed.  “It was after midnight and I was tired, the lighting wasn’t good and I didn’t feel like doing it.”

“Then why did you?”

She shrugged.  “And yes, I’ve been eating more than enough chocolate, thank you very much.”

“It’s not helping,” he said.

“There are so many things to think about, nothing really changes, stuff just puts on a different face.”

“And?”

“Why do we even bother?”

“Bother with what?”

“Why do we try and fight a system that will eventually kill us because that’s what’s what it loves to do?”

“Start with the fact that your entire species is insane.  Cats don’t hate each other.  Sure, we fight now and then, but we don’t care what other cats look like, or what they believe in.  You guys just never stop fighting and hating each other over the dumbest things.  You lie and hoard and cheat and kill.  No other species is as crazy as you are.  We might be territorial and have some instinct things going on but we aren’t basically mean.”

“I know.”

“I mean, look at turtles.”

She started laughing.  “Turtles?”

“There’s nothing funny about turtles,” he said, seriously.

“It’s not the turtles that made me laugh.  It was the fact that you mentioned them.”

“Turtles are nice.”

“Do you know any turtles?”

“A couple.  I met them when I was somewhere else.”

“I see.”

“Turtles are pretty smart.  They know everything about water and the things that live in and around it.  They’re basically happy, as long as they aren’t around human beings.”

“I think that can be said for a lot of living things, including most human beings.”

“Your egos are killing you.”

“Yes.”

“You still have instincts you know.  You are animals, after all.”

“I know.”

“You’re weaker than most and can’t do very much, but you don’t have breeding seasons so you multiple too fast and that’s dangerous for everyone and everything else.”

“I know.”

“You’re using all the resources and people are starving and they don’t have water.”

“I know.”

“Why?” he asked.

“Greed, power, insanity, not caring, complacency and hatefulness.”

“That’s what I thought.  No one else is like your kind and once you’re gone, if you leave anything alive, things will start over and flourish.”

“I know.”

“There are so many of you and yet you allow a few guys to rule over you and no one stops them.  Why?”

“I’d like to say it’s because of brainwashing and conditioning, and that’s certainly part of it, but laziness and the fact that most governments will just kill you if you act out against them, that does it.”

“Cave people killed each other.”

“I know.  We’re a killing species.”

“I think this is a death planet,” he said.

“I think so too,” she agreed.

“But the sun is out, I have a warm place to nap, good food and we’re having a conversation, so things aren’t all bad.”

She kissed him.  “No they aren’t all bad and that’s part of the problem.  When things aren’t all bad, people close their eyes and stop fighting back.”

“That’s why things are allowed to be ‘not that bad,'” he said, in agreement.

“Yes.”

“Cats are here to make the world beautiful,” he said.

“You do a great job.”

“I know,” he said. “I don’t think the world has to be as bad as you guys make it.”

“I don’t think so either.”

“Do you think Terminator is going to become a reality?”

“I do and how did you see that movie?”

“The woman across the street was watching it the other night, so I sat on her windowsill and watched it too.”

“I’LL BE BACK.”

“Good,” he said.  “I’m used to the food.”

“No, that’s from the movie.  Arnold said it in the police station.”

“Oh, I get it.”

“I love you,” she said, petting him.

“I know.”

She kissed him and played with his ears.  “You’re so beautiful.”

“All cats are beautiful.”

She kissed him again and he started purring.

“I hope you stop by tonight,” she whispered.

He yawned, then licked his front paw.  “Jinx and I will come over.”

“I’ll see you then,’  she said. laying her face against his side.  “Love you so much.”

She didn’t see him smile…but he did.