Art and the philosophy of life

Posts tagged ‘Kids’

Okay, so…

I read constantly, and no matter what I read, fiction or non, childhoods often make their way into the story line.  I mean, some artists are the way they are because they were literally brutalized by their parents, beaten and tortured, or the opposite, where they were suffocated, or ignored.

It’s exhausting. The angst of it all.  Yes, some kids have lives that are so horrific they should be able to set their parents on fire as soon as they can light a match and then roast marshmallows in the flames.  Seems fair to me.  Monsters really do exist.

And then there are those who mourn the fantasy parents they wished they had had, but didn’t.  And, there are always those who never really leave their parents, held there by fear or guilt.

What are we doing to each other?  It’s pure craziness.  It seems as if  our “nuclear families,” are NOT working.  Parents make their kids insane, in one way or another.  I personally know people who still long for acceptance and love, from parents who have been dead for years.

I think a few things were left out of me, because I just don’t get it.

I see so many mentally damaged children coming out of homes where they are suffocated by over protective parents who make all their choices for them.  Today,  a friend of mine was telling me about a 48 year old single male who has dinner with his DIVORCED mother and father every week, and spends holidays with them, as well as time during the week.  The divorced parents are spending time together for the sake of their 48 year old son, at least that’s what they are telling themselves.  He had to have a personality that would allow him to be manipulated in that way, or maybe he just never wanted to grow up.

I grew up at time where no one knew where you were, or what you were doing.   We just had to show up for dinner and then we were released to go on our merry way until the streetlights went on, so I admit that I have a very different and slanted perspective.  “Did you have a nice day?” was the only thing my mother asked me, after being  gone for ten hours.  That’s what all the mothers asked.  I always said, “Yes,” because it was the truth.  Sadly, we can’t live like that anymore and kids are constantly monitored by adults and enrolled in so many activities, they don’t have a moment to themselves.  I see that as a really bad thing.  Camera’s and being watched does weird things to people.

And why do so many people need affirmation, pets, love, accolades and acceptance from their parents, dead or alive?  Honestly, I’m not trying to be a smart ass, but I just don’t see how that improves anyone’s life.  I mean it’s nice, if your parents were great and you had a good relationship with them, but how can people NEED that in order to be happy?  How can they let not having fantasy parents bring them down all the time?

It’s like this.  Life can suck.  It can suck for everyone, but for some, it sucks a lot more than for others.  Some people should be jailed for life, for what they do/have done to children, mentally and physically.  But they are free to beat, burn, starve, rape and actually kill their kids and little is actually done to them, because they are the kid’s parents. They own them.  There are unlimited ways parents/adults can destroy a child.  Even when they kill them with what they consider to be kindness.

Our parents were damaged by their parents and their own experiences.  One generation after another, hands down the baggage to the next generation. The truth is, WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE ARE DOING.  NONE.  Look at us.  Look at the state of the world where kids are dying form lack of water and food.

How many people suffer, in order to please the unrealistic demands of their parents?  How many divorces take place because of “the parents?”  So many couples have to choose between their families or their their spouses.  That shouldn’t be happening.

Kids interpret the things they see and hear with a child’s inexperienced and undeveloped mind.   They interpret what happens to them as well.  Often feeling they deserve to be beaten, or it was their fault their parents broke up.  Those misunderstandings can color a child’s outlook for life.

Priests use those things when they rape children.  One boy said the priest said he would kill his dog, then his sister, then his parents, if he told.  A child can’t see the big picture or understand that telling was the right thing to do.  Unable to make that leap of understanding, he was raped, more than likely, over a period of time, which was often the case.  So what happens around kids can color their entire lives, making them better, more stable, or worse.

The only cure is to teach people that their life belongs to them and they don’t have to please anyone else.  You get one shot at life. You can live to please others, or you can live the way you want to live, and let the others face the fact that you are your own person, who refuses to be played.

GUILT is a weapon used by people to get their own way.  So is manipulation and fear.  You can see it used everywhere, but you don’t have to accept it.  It is NOT selfish to want to live your own life.  Living your own way is how you find out what you like and don’t like, it’s how you find out what is possible.   Many people just give up and hand their lives over to someone else because it’s easier than standing up for themselves. We all know people like that.  It’s not uncommon.

If anything, parents should be ashamed of wanting to steal the lives of their children for their own satisfaction or needs.  Some use their children as buffers for their own bad marriages.  It seems to me that the only thing parents should want for their kids is for them to be happy in the life they choose to live?

Of course, It’s unrealistic to think parents can be perfect.  We don’t even know what perfect is. I don’t think there is a perfect and who would write the definition?  And, admittedly, we are who we are.   Most of us do the “best” we can, but we are all weird and see things through our own lives.  So our kids end up strange because how can they be any other way?  Between parents and innate personalities, we’re lucky we survive.

I think people who never get over what they think they didn’t have, might want to look at what those feelings are doing to their lives and to those around them.  If your parents didn’t like you, or you feel that you constantly disappointed them, that’s THEIR fault, not yours.  If they withheld love, or didn’t have it in them, that’s not YOUR fault either.  Many parents have unrealistic, or cruel, expectations for their children.

As a parent, it’s up to you to point out to your child that someone is nasty, not to listen to him, and get away from him.  For some kids, no matter how they excel, it’s never good enough.  That’s evil.  No one has to live up to someone else’s standard, especially when the demanding person can’t do anything at all.

We are all shaped by our early lives.  For those who were brutalized, there are no words to tell you how profoundly sorry I am.   Life can be a truly ugly and violent place, especially for those who are innocent and helpless.  I hope soon, the sun shines upon you and your heart is warm and covered in beautiful flowers.  The failure was not yours, but societies.

All of us are products of our upbringing.  Many or even most people spend their lives trying to overcome what happened to them, whether it’s escaping their religious conditioning, their parents demands, or sibling rivalry.  Even overcoming the place you were born, or the things you were taught, can take time to overcome.  Deprogramming takes effort a lot of the time.

It’s hard being a human and the only answer I have is to fight back.  But that’s always my answer to everything.  I was born fighting back, even when I didn’t know who to aim at.  Still, it works for me.  Never be afraid to walk away and don’t let anyone steal your dreams, or your life, no matter who they are.  No one is perfect, because there is no perfect.  We are all just getting through this thing with the least amount of hassle and damage.  And if we’re lucky, there are some rainbows and joy thrown into the mix.

If we look for problems, we’ll find them.  But to what end?  That’s a question everyone has to ask themselves.  I guess some people need to solve certain issues, but anyone can wake up and just live for the day they have in front of them.  It might not be easy but with practice, it can be done.

If you need love and can’t seem to find it, get a dog or a cat.  They love unconditionally and they won’t ever lie to you.  Start there, and once you find out what love is, because animals are the best teachers ever, you’ll be able to recognize it.  You can’t find that exact kind of true love in humans, but you can come pretty close, depending on your expectations.  I had it and it was fantastic, so I know it exists, although he did put up with me, so there is that.  🙂  He was a much better person than I could ever be.  I just lucked out.

But let’s keep in mind that kids can drive us insane.  Being a parent can be the hardest, never ending job in the entire world.  Not everyone likes their kids either.  That’s okay. personality clashes happen. Just try to make sure they’re happy and that it’s okay to be who you are even if your hair turns white and you just want to sleep until it’s over and they are out of the house.  Kids don’t have to be the way we want them to be, they just have to be themselves.  Sometimes they inherit the worse parts of someone in your family.  It’s not their fault.  Blame genitics.  It’s not easy for parents to have “that” kid, but there it is.  Happens all the time.  That’s why so many older people are still exhausted.  It’s hard, and people who have “obedient and nice children,” don’t have a clue.  Difficult can mean many things and it means different things to different people.  From simple things to OMG!

In the end, I think life is a play that has drama, horror, love, hate, humor, tragedy and death.  Just remember that it’s not all one thing, and if you wait a minute the next act will start and things will be different.

No matter what happens, good luck and you’re not alone.  We’re in this together, even if we sometimes wish we weren’t

 

Siblings…a short chat.

Siblings, Friends, Brother, Sister

“There’s a lot to learn,” she said. “It’s a big world.”

“Goo.”

“I’ll show you the ropes.  Just stick with me.”

“Goo.”

“You really need to learn how to talk.”

“Kaaaaaaaaa.”

“No.  I mean using words.”

“Ga?”

“You need to stop waving your arms in the air too.”

“Kzzzzzzzzah.”

“It’s okay that you don’t know anything.”

“Geeeee.”

“Because I’m big and I’m right here.”

 

 

Picture:  Pixabay

Taking the kids for a walk in the park…

Greylag Geese, Goslings, Meadow, Geese

Photo:  Pixabay

Fae….

two girls wearing pink and purple dresses with wingschildren dress up
as fairies
not just because
it’s fun
but because
they
remember

 

Photo:  Allison Archer
Unsplash

From: Bored Panda

37 Folks In This Online Group Who Don’t Want Kids Get Brutally Honest About It

Now THIS is how you have a good time…

Child Jumping Into Body of Water

Photo:  Daryl Wilkerson Jr.
Unsplash

Talk is cheap…

man in black t-shirt and blue denim jeans riding on bicycle on round concrete floor

Most people say they love their kids but what does that mean?  Look at the condition of the world we live in.  Look at what we are doing to all the children of the earth.  War, pollution, dead seas, lost species and forests.  Poisoning the earth, air and water.

But here’s the thing we need to ask.  WHAT WAS DONE TO US AS CHILDREN THAT ALLOWED US TO LET ALL OF THIS HAPPEN, AS ADULTS.  We were conditioned, brainwashed, and taught to NOT FIGHT BACK when terrible things were being done.  We were lied to and taught to respect AUTHORITY figures who used and manipulated us to follow the rules. That’s what makes us unable to act out against the violence and terrorism put upon us by the governments and dictators of the world.  I think it’s time to STOP BEING TERRIFIED AND HELPLESS SHEEP and stand up for generations to come.  If we want to save the children, we need to SAVE the planet.

We many not know what to do, because that information was kept from us AND because the rich have written the law in such a way that it PROTECTS THEM FROM US, but we can’t continue to be doormats, if we want children to have a chance to live.

I’m just sayin’ it’s something to think about.

 

Photo:  Clayton Cardinall
Unsplash

Sometimes you just need to take a break…a wee poem

boy on red Radio Flyer pull wagon during daytime

kids and cats
know when
to rest
nap
and
enjoy
life

 

Photo:  Blake Meyer
Unsplash

This is a short play I wrote a couple of years ago. Melanie just read it and said I might want to reblog it, so I am here it is…enjoy

Kids, Life, School, Mice and The play…SCHOOL DAY (I have no idea how to properly write a down a play, so just go with it. Thank you. (this is longish because it a…play)

Story time…

Student, Education, Boy, School, Reading

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful blue planet called earth.  Lots of wonderful things evolved there, dinosaurs, trees, flowers, fuzzy things, birds, scaly little ones, all kinds of things.   Then a new species came along.  One that walked upright and couldn’t fly, or dig, or do much of anything at all.  They couldn’t run fast or jump high, and they weren’t very bright.  They almost became extinct, which would have been better for all the other living things, but they persisted.

That species eventually grew into you and me, but back then, they couldn’t speak and they hadn’t made up all the lies that people believe today.  But they were violent and when they met each other they fought and killed, just like they do today, so that part hasn’t changed.  They didn’t have the weapons we have now, but they made do with rocks, branches and anything else they could find to get the job done.  They may not have been smart but knowing how to kill was part of their programming.

So, jump ahead…the dinosaurs had been dead for a long time, protohumans rose up and started moving over the earth, and all that stuff…and now…we’re here.

You and I are the result of those beings that crawled out of the ooze, or were planted here by aliens, or whatever, but none of that really matters because we’re here and that’s a fact.  I mean no matter how you look at it, we seem to be here, right?

Anyway, we went through a lot of stages to get to be the most violent thing on the planet.  We didn’t even need weapons to poison the air, water and earth, ourselves and everything else.   We didn’t even think about it, or care.  We developed guns, split atoms, to make fabulous bombs that could destroy cities and everything the lived.  We have all kinds of toys to wipe out anything we like.  But we never paid attention to what we were doing, since we were always too busy wondering what we could kill next.

So no one was watching the governments we set up, which were evil and all about power over others and slavery and hate and evilness.  Early on people were burned at the stake, then books, then all kinds of bad and disgusting things took place.  Those things never went away. some of them changed, as far as how they looked, but the bottom line was always the same.  Greed and power.

Other animals moved away from us, sensing our wrongness.  We cemented over the earth, building parking lots and big stores, deli’s and shoe shops.  We killed animals and ate them.  Tortured, terrified them, and heard them scream, but no one stopped them from dying.  It’s happening right now and your parents fed you that death and all the hormones that went along with it.  So heart disease and all kinds of sickness came from eating living beings who never harmed anyone in their entire lives.  People skinned beautiful animals and wore them for status.  Covered their feet with their skin, their furniture and car seats as well.  Instead of burning woman at the stake they burned pigs, but burn they still do.  Women, pigs, anyone or anything, they don’t care.  As long as they can kill something, they’re happy.

We are killing the forests, that let us breath, as well as the animals who live there.  We have poisoned the air, water and the earth.  We kill each other on a daily basis, the government has gone insane and no one can stop it.  The weather has changed and is warming up.  Water is rising, and the plastic that floats in it, is growing, as well.

And then the virus hit, keeping people off the streets, for a short time.  Animals moved in, the air cleared up and dolphins were seen in the canals of Venice.  Things were settling down.  Even the earth stopped trembling from all of our trucks and pounding.  On the other hand, people started getting sick and dying.

Now we’re up to date.  The government has gone mad.  Run by a sociopath and his evil followers, people are dying in great numbers.   Using the power bestowed upon him by the evil white men who came before him, the psychotic president threatens everyone who will not bend to his will.  No one seems to be able to stop what’s happening.

People are protesting and getting teargassed and beaten by other Americans in uniforms, who have been sent to teargas them and beat them.  Basically to shut them up and make sure nothing changes.

Kids are risking their lives to go to school.  Federal funding will be withheld if schools don’t open, placing not only kids, but teachers, staff, bus drivers, and workers, in danger. The mail is being tampered with, by the bad guys, so people will not be able to vote by mail.

Truth and lies are the same thing now, so you won’t know what’s real and what isn’t.   Everything is dangerous, including dating, working, libraries, and everything else.  Babies don’t see people smiling at them, because a lot of people are wearing masks, not everyone, of course, because some people aren’t smart enough to wear them ALL THE TIME.

We may be up against another extinction right now, at least for humans, and if not, who knows what your future will look like?  If your animal instincts take over and you have kids, good luck.  This is the gift past generations are leaving for you.  And, while some of us care, we didn’t do enough to stop any of it from happening.  So good luck, if there is a future, hopefully you’ll be smart enough not to do the same things we did, although I seriously doubt that will happen.

Look at it this way…if we are gone, everything else will rejoice and grow again, so there is a silver lining, just not for us.  Have fun being home schooled, or taking your life in your hands by showing up to class, wearing a mask and staying away from everyone else.  Either way, have fun while you can.  I’m not sure how, but things will keep evolving and no one will have real friends any longer, just faces on a screen.  But all of that will become the new norm and no one will miss what they never had.  More aps, video games, where you can still kill things, or save the princess.  You’ll just see pictures of everything, that’s all.

Anyway, this is today’s lesson.  Tomorrow’s lesson will be about hot air balloons.  Until then, stay on line and live the life your elders have made for you.  And don’t eat bats.

 

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