Photo: Alex Conradt
Photo: Alex Conradt
Photo: Anna Shvets
We need more love in the world. We need more kindness. We will never love everyone. It’s not possible, but I think we can be a bit more kind and polite. No one can even define what love means. Ask the billions of people who are divorced about their definitions.
We can be kind to strangers, without loving them. We don’t have to love people to open a door for them. Love isn’t something everyone can do, or give, but kindness is. Being polite doesn’t carry any meaning and it’s short term. We can’t love everyone, and not everyone wants to be loved by others. That’s an IMPORTANT point. Many people do not want someone’s love, or attention. Kindness is a different thing, but even then, people have to be careful not to intrude or over step their bounds. Every word has its own definition.
We need to be more realistic about what is possible. Loving everyone is not possible. It never was and never will be. We can’t even protect children from their parents. We can’t actually DO anything, to stop the hatred and violence that is everywhere, so loving everyone is a joke.
We need to come up with better solutions and get real, if we truly want things to change. We need to forget about loving each other and try for something that’s possible. Being polite. Being kind. And even then…what will we do with those who are filled with hatred and violence? Those who only want power over others and more for themselves?
Look at it this way. When someone is simply kind, it can make the news, because it’s that rare. Think about that. An act of kindness can be newsworthy, in a world where hatred and violence are the norm.
We need to forget about love and just try to be more polite until we can think of something better.
And, by the way, the cat in the picture could take the dog in a second. The cat has all the power. All she has to do is change her mind about being civil, and the dog’s toast. Just like in human life. Exactly like in human life. It’s not the one who has the most toys who wins, it’s the one who has the most power over us.
It seems to me, that people need to DEFINE what love means, before they think they found it, go looking for it, or think they want or need it. It case you haven’t noticed, a lot of people are divorced, unhappy, miserable or, stab, stab, ready to kill someone one they once thought they loved.
I think part of the problem is that people have different definitions for what love means. Seriously, how many people actually sit down and say, “Now that we think we’re in love, what exactly, does love mean to you? What is YOUR definition of love?”
Who does that? Probably very few since, more than likely, they both think they know what love means, and they mistakenly believe that love means the same thing to the other person…when it does not. Hence, the OH MY GODDESS, WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO, feelings, once they find out that love never meant the same thing to both of them.
Love, or lust, sometimes precludes an intelligent look at what’s taking place. People tend to OVERLOOK things that are, in reality, RED FLAGS. “I’ll never want to change anything about you,” suddenly becomes, “I can’t STAND IT when you do that, so STOP DOING IT!” “I didn’t realize that you thought having fun was sitting on the couch playing video games with your friends every night.” “Whose underwear is this?”
Love blindness is well documented.
This isn’t only about couples. It’s for those who can’t stop wishing that their parent’s loved them the way they think they wanted to be loved. They feel as if they missed something and fret about it for their entire lives. What does parental love feel like? Who knows? Not everyone even needs, or wants it. Why do people think their lives would have been different if the fantasy they hold on to, had been a reality?
These are important things to think about. I know ancient people who are still wishing for this or that, from their long deceased mother or father. WHAT? Parents are just PEOPLE, doing the best they can and they’re as crazy as everyone else. I think a lot of people forget that. How can these unhappy adult children KNOW what their lives would have been like if their fantasy had been a reality? They can’t. It might have been horrific, but they never seem to think about that part.
I think we need to teach people to be whole, ALL BY THEM SELVES. To not NEED all that attention and love from others, but to be happy by themselves and if love comes along, well fine. All this longing and yearning for ????? That’s a lot to live up to and the truth is, people are sold a bill of goods, as they say. Marriage isn’t what the magazines and movies tell everyone it is. At least not for a lot of people.
It seems as if we should all be okay with who we are and not NEED others, but welcome them into our lives when/if they come along. All the desperation around finding someone, creates a lot of mistakes and unhappy situations, for many people. I don’t think “desperation,” is too strong a word. I’ve seen people get married, so when they get divorced they can say they had been married and had the experience. Seriously. That’s true. It’s like just do it, and get it out of the way.
It seems as if talking about what love means, could be enlightening and stop problems before they start. Maybe not. But when I ask people what the word love means to them, most have never even thought about it before. They don’t know what it means to them and they just look at me in confusion.
I think maybe we should teach kids to think about love from an early age. Ask them. Their answers will be sweet, adorable, cute and honest. Their answers will change as they grow up, but it will get them thinking about it and that seems like a good thing. How does loving your pet make you feel…at any age. Is that what you’re looking for? Unconditional love, warmth and trust? What ARE you looking for?
The word Love is plastered all over signs, blogs, shirts, walls and yet no one thinks about what it MEANS.
Don’t make excuses for bad or hurtful behavior. Ever. Don’t let people lie to you. Don’t pretend and look the other way. Ever. Not if you want to be happy. Not unless love means something different to you than it does to me.
Just stuff I was thinking about this morning.
The Creative Exchange
I love German Shepherds. This is what my dog looked like. I was going through dog pictures for my blog and thought about the dogs I thought were beautiful and those I knew were not the breeds for me.
I just have to see a Shepherd and I can hardly breath. I want to curl up next to him immediately. I try to be polite, holding out my hand and everything, but their beauty and strength, their intelligence and that FACE…I have a hard time keeping my hands off of them.
My dog weighed over a hundred pounds and slept with us. Shepherds remind me of wolves and I like that. I take them seriously. I love Dobes, but skinny dogs make me feel bad and I always want to overfeed them. I also feel as if they will break easily.
I love mutts too. Scruffy, energetic and fun loving dogs, with that silly grin and that spark in their eyes that always tells you how happy they are to play. Mutts are great.
We are all drawn to certain things. Not just when it comes to dogs, but to everything. There is something inside each of us, that makes us see beauty in this, but not in that. We’re like that with people, cars, furniture, artwork, with EVERYTHING.
When we walk into a place, public, or a private, and we feel as if we want to leave, that’s a clash of feelings for what’s around us. It makes us uncomfortable when we aren’t around the things we find beautiful. That’s why it’s SO important to fill our living spaces with things we LOVE. If we’re living with our great aunt’s china figures and we hate them, we won’t be happy where we are.
We need to fill our surroundings with the things we find beautiful, even if they only cost two-dollars. When we do that, we’ll always be happy to come home. If we have something expensive that doesn’t make us happy, it’s not worth having. Decorate with passion and love and don’t care about what anyone else tells has to say.
I’m a cat person through and through. But if I ever got another dog, it would be a German Shepherd. Having said that…sometimes a dog simply finds us and that’s that.
Photo: Daniel Bendig
Love and tenderness are beautiful in all their forms. Kindness and sweetness is not only recognized, it’s felt deep inside of us. We are moved by it, made better by seeing it. Love, when it’s real, is a many splendored thing.
Have you ever noticed how humans are always reaching out to other species? Pictures on the internet show us feeding horses, goats, llamas, cows…pretty much ANYONE.
We’re always trying to pet them, hug them, hold them, touch them, kiss them, keep them, give them things. We never stop. Yet people shoot them, poison them, wear them and EAT them.
What’s with that?
I didn’t think you were supposed to kill what you love.
hidden in doorways
out of sight
to each person
what would you do
what does it look like
what is it
Photo: Jon Tyson