And then there was the Sunset Cruise on Maui…OMG

So, my cousin and I signed up the the Sunset Cruise.  You get on a Pontoon boat and sail off on the ocean, move around a bit and wait for the sun to set.  It costs $65.  I’ve been on pontoon boats before but this was a PONTOON boat.  Big, with only one bit of a bench for about eight people to sit upon, so the seats were taken by first people eight people aboard. There were about 40 or 50 people on the cruise.  The boat had a galley where food and drinks would be served and where there were benches to sit upon.  The galley was not good for those with motion sickness and topside was not good for those who could not stand for two hours looking at the water, shore and the sun, which meant that I was topside and my cousin was in the galley after about 45 minutes because it hurt her to stand in one spot for so long.

Okay, here’s the thing.  We were not told how we were expected to get on or off of the boat and it was obvious that we were not the only ones who were uninformed. We arrived at the beach and had to sign a waver.  We were told to remove our shoes and throw them into big buckets, then form a single line.  The surf is rough and loud so the guy was shouting…”When the boat backs up, the stairs will drop.  YOU WILL RUN INTO THE OCEAN AS FAST AS YOU CAN, and get to the orange step.  DO NOT STOP because someone will be right behind you…and the waves will be coming in.  Keep your belongings shoulder height, so your electronic devices won’t get wet because YOU CAN GET WET UP TO YOUR WAIST!  And keep one hand free, so that you can hold on to something.”  We all started muttering, looking at each other, and then we stared at the gigantic waves slamming against the shore.  Some people had infants and were nicely dressed and SURPRISED AT WHAT WE WERE EXPECTED TO DO TO GET ON THE BOAT!  It’s 2017 and no one can build a ramp from the boat to the sand????  WHY NOT?

When the wave goes out the guy SCREAMED, “RUN, RUN, RUN,”  so I ran INTO the ocean and got on the orange step, wet to the knees.  My cousin made it as well.  It’s a three person crew.  Pam, the captain, and a man and woman.  The woman was at the bottom of the steps and they guy was on the sand.  We all made it, people holding their kids as high as they could.

We sailed around on the ocean, most people drinking like crazy, one girl totally wasted, since you could drink as much as you wanted to drink for the price of your ticket.  I didn’t drink, or eat, I just looked around and talked to some people.  One guy said, “I could have seen this from the beach.”  Well, yeah, we all could have done that but we were on the ocean and none of us knew what we were getting into…that much was, again, OBVIOUS.

So…sail, sail, look at the sky, look at the water, look at the shore, sail, sail.  Sun goes down, surf is UP and it’s time to disembark.  The ocean is doing it’s thing and someone must have pissed it off because it seemed really angry about something.  Now they were truly YELLING AT US.  “DON’T MISS THE ORANGE STAIR AND RUN!”  The woman was once again at the bottom of the stairs, the guy was back on the sand and the waves were raging against the beach.  My cousin got off the boat and I was next.  The woman said, “NOW,” so I went for it…but when I hit the water ANOTHER WAVE hit me big time and my feet were buried in the sand and I was soaked up to my waist and couldn’t move my feet, so the guy rushed toward me and pulled on my arm, so I could get my feet out of the sand and he was screaming, “RUN, RUN, RUN, ANOTHER ONE IS COMING!!!!”  And another wave was roaring toward us, so the minute my feet were out of the sand I ran and he was screaming, “GET TO THE SAND, GET TO THE SAND!”

Once on the beach people were standing there, stunned and digging their shoes out of the tubs, wondering if anyone was going to die.  They stood around watching to see people get soaked and scramble to the beach with their bags and kids held in the air.

We were drenched, covered with wet sand, and had to walk about a mile and a half back to the hotel.  My cousin was only wet to her knees, which was totally unfair.  We stopped at a water station, to wash off our feet, but I was a mess and the sand refused to leave my feet or pants, so even though I was wearing rubber sandals, the tops of my feet felt as if they were being sanded with every step I took.  My cousin said, “I saw what was happening but I wasn’t going back for you.”  Pretty much sums up our relationship and I’ll NEVER let her forget she said that.  I’ve already reminded her quite a few times, actually.  We ate dinner, outside, soaking wet and uncomfortable.  Good food and a nice cat, which you will seen in a different post.

Once in the room, I washed my pants in the tub and it took days for them to dry.  It was quite an experience, that’s for sure, and watching the sun go down was pretty cool, but believe me when I say that I DEFINITELY COULD HAVE SEEN IT FROM THE BEACH.