The Conversation…

“Do you know what they’re doing at CERN?” he asked.

“Trying to open wormholes?”

“Yes, and who knows what will come through, or what’s going to happen?”

“Don’t care.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because I can’t go to Switzerland and stop them from doing anything at all.  If the earth disappears, or implodes, that’s the way we end.”

“How can you say that?” he asked, sitting up.

“Well, air fills my lungs and then the words come out of my mouth and…”

“You know what I mean,” he said.

“The bad guys are trying to destroy all of us, in as many ways as possible, at the moment, and I can’t stand in the street and scream because first of all, it will hurt my throat and second, THEY DON’T GIVE A FLYING F…”

“I get it.”

“Good.  Now.  What’s new?” she asked.

“The females of your species are dying from back alley abortions.”

“Let me restate my question.  What’s new that is nice?”

He stared at her and rolled onto his side.  “I got nothin’.”

“Summer is coming,” she said brightly.

“Really.  Haven’t you noticed how screwed up the weather is?  The wind NEVER stops.  You haven’t been able to open the umbrella over the picnic table once, so far.  I know how you hate to have it closed and you can’t even open it, because of the WIND.”

“I need GOOD NEWS.”

“Well,” he said, licking his right front paw.  “You won’t find it here.”

“Are you going to summer school?’ she asked.

“I don’t know.  I haven’t see their schedule.”

“What would you like to take, if you could pick something?”

“Physics, Anatomy of cats and voles, film editing and pharmacy.”

“Heavy schedule, so I’m assuming you won’t try to take more than one class at a time.”

“I’m a cat.  How long do I have to live?”

She burst into tears.

“What?” he asked, frowning at her.  “Did you see a spider?”

“I’M NOT AFRAID OF SPIDERS! I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT YOU DYING!”

“Everything dies.”

“Sometimes I think I punish myself for something I don’t even know about, by coming here.”

“That’s not a nice thing to say.  You’re lucky we let you hang out with us.”

“I know.  And, I appreciate it.”

“This whole place is set up to make absolutely positive that your species suffers and hatefully, passes that misery onto everyone else that lives here,” he said.

“You’re right.  I’m sorry.”

“I think you’re supposed to live each day to the fullest and have as much fun as possible, while your kids and those you love die and have terrible things happen to them.  While your country commits suicide and…”

“Okay,” she said, standing up.  “I’m outta here.”

“You’re so touchy.”

“I AM NOT TOUCHY.”

“Why are you yelling?”

She sat down hard.  “Nothing makes sense.”

“And?”

“I want things to make sense.”

“Good luck with that,” he snorted, pushing his plate toward her for more food.  “You do know that no other species thinks about the end of things, don’t you?”

“They can’t think that way.  Their brains aren’t wired the same as ours.”

“Too bad yours are so screwed up,” he said.

“What have you been reading lately?”

“The book you gave me on Voles, was pretty good.  After that, I read two books on Saturn and one on Pluto, which, by the way, is still a planet to me.  They found a planet or two that might have life, or sustain life but I think a year takes 8 days, so…”

“I’m too tired to move to another planet,” she said.  “I have a lot of stuff and besides…they’re really far away.”

“If they try and tilt the planet, you won’t have to worry about your stuff.  You’ll be dead.”

“Isn’t that the most insane thing you can imagine?” she asked.  “They are actually thinking of tilting the planet a different way.  Humans are completely mad.”

“If you’re waiting for an argument, you’ll be waiting forever.”

“I could die before you,” she said.

“I know that.  Why do you think I asked you about your will?”

“You don’t have to worry.  I took care of all of you.”

“If you have a grave around here, we’ll come and sleep on it.”

“That’s very nice of you, but no grave.  Scattered ashes.”

He nodded.  “That’s what I’d like, but I don’t really have a lot to say about it.”

“That’s not true.  I told the vet and if I’m not here, she’ll take care of you.”

“This is a terrible game,” he said.

“I agree.”

“Why do you think we agreed to play?”

“They lied to us before we signed up.  We didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into.”

“Is that what you think?”

“I do.  Why?  What do you think?”

“No idea.  I guess what you said makes as much sense as anything else.  By the way, do you have tap shoes?”

“I do not.  I never had tap shoes.  I had toe shoes but that was when I was little and didn’t realize the shoes were a torture device.   Why do you want tap shoes?”

“Well, when we open the Cat Coffee Shop, I thought all of you could wear tap shoes and do little dances for the customers.”

“Yeah, no.”

“You’re no fun,”  he said.

“I used to be fun,” she said, sadly.  “Then I woke up.”

“I’m going to take a nap.  I like the plans for the Cat Coffee Shop, so far.  I think it will be a gigantic success.  I mean think about it.  Cats.  There’s nothing better than cats.”

“You’re right,” she said kissing him.  “I love you so much.”

“I know.”

“See you tonight?”

“Of course.”

“Love you more,” she said.

“I know.”

“You’re supposed to say, Do not.”

“Why would I lie?”

“I’ll see you later,” she snickered  “Tell Jinx his food is over there and I’ll see him tonight too.  I’ll  put PUSS & BOOTS on for him.”

“Sure,” he said already sliding into a heavy doze.

She watched him for awhile, blew him a kiss and headed home.

“I felt that,” he whispered to no one in particular.