Weird Things, 2

I was on my way to the magic shop, the one that has true magic, for those who knew what it was, when something darted in front of my Jeep and ran between two apartment buildings.  I pulled over and waited.  When nothing happened I got out of the car and someone whispered, “You’re weak and your protection spell won’t protect you.  Not from me.”

She sighed  She’d heard that one before.  “So, what are you?” she asked, leaning against her car, looking at her nails.

“You mean who am I?”

“If that’s what I meant, that’s what I would have said.  WHAT are you and are you hiding because you’re afraid of me?” she taunted, because sometimes that’s the only thing that got the monsters to appear.

“Afraid of you,” it laughed.  “A skinny human.”

“Hey, ever hear of body shaming?”

“No.”

“Come out here and I’ll explain it to you and then you can tell me what you are and what you want.”

“Are you Blue?”

That made her hesitate.  It was bad news when they knew  your name.  “No I’m more of a peachy pink, actually.”

“Funny.”

“Look, I don’t have all day.  This can go a couple of ways.  You can come out and we can talk or, I can come in there and kill you.  Up to you.”

A man walked out from between the buildings.  “I’m here,” he said.

“So? What’s up?  What do you want?”

“I want to take over the universe but first I want to tear you apart and scatter bits of you all….”

“Oh, please,” she said.  “If you did that, I’d never get my chores done, so no.”

“How fortunate of me to find you all alone.  It’s just you and me.”

She yawned, stood up straight and snapped out her arm, watching him hit the building and crumpled to the ground.  She was on him in a second, and then it was over.  She kicked his head away from his body and took out her phone.

“Mom, I was on the way to Green Dragon and ran into a Class Three demon.  He knew who I was.  Send clean-up to Maple and Orchard.  No.  His body is still there.  I don’t know why.  I know he should have disappeared, but he didn’t.  Gotta go, some kids are walking toward it.”