my first degree
is in
gerontology
(the study of aging)
and one thing
that was stressed
time and time again
is that many women
bloom
become creative
free
and happy
once their husbands
die
men truly need
to think about that
so do women
life seems to exist
for one reason
and that reason is
never ending conflict
not to learn lessons
just to make people
miserable
and unhappy
but if we know all that
isn’t there some way
we can change things
get rid of greed
violence
and the need for power
over someone else
yeah
I don’t think so either
not unless something
we don’t know about
changes things
the imbalance of power
in the world
is actually
killing us
Photo: Pixabay
Rethinking Life 
Comments on: "Women and men…" (6)
Imbalance is the key word. That’s why Locke and Montesquieu thought about checks and balances. (Actually I think it was Locke first). Their idea was precisely to acknowledge the existence of power -or the thirst for- and make sure that powers balanced each other. What we have now, just about everywhere is an imbalance…
The huge imbalance we have has become THE WAY THINGS ARE. We have been conditioned to believe there is no other way, this is the only way and those are all lies told by the power hungry white males in this country. It’s disgusting and it kills people.
Sad isn’t it? Well, we’ll just have to adapt and fight as much as we can. (Problem is, I am getting a bit old to fight… LOL)
Those findings are no surprise to me. I saw that ‚development‘ – amongst quite a few other women – in my 2nd m-i-l. After her husband‘s death she almost suddenly became her own woman, she looked younger, showed tons of initiative, moved back to her home city and led some 22 additional years of being happier…. sad really! I too, in so many ways, became myself only truly after I divorced my ex. My 2nd man always accepted me for what I am and we have both learned from each other some of the traits we were missing before. I don‘t call him for no reason Hero Husband (HH), lol.
That’s the truth…your MIL is the perfect example. It happens all the time and as you said, it’s so said that so many women have to wait until their husbands die to start their own creative life. I’m so happy you have a hero husband. I had one as well. Makes all the difference in the world. 😄
Isn’t that a fact. We bloom and grow once they are gone because we have no one to cater to, to tell us our idea is no good, to discourage us from trying. Life with them was not miserable but we allowed ourselves to be quashed.
In my case, it was not an always thing but I was easily discouraged (my own damn fault for lacking self-confidence). Now? I go forward, bugger things up (maybe he was right) but then, at least I tried.