The Conversation…

“You asked for this,” he said, rolling to his side.  “Summer. You wanted it and now it’s here, broiling us to death.”

“It is hot,” she agreed.

“To put it mildly,” he sighed.

I could get you a wading pool.”

He sat up.  “Do I look like a tiger?  Cats don’t like water, except for TIGERS  and not one of us knows why they like it.  So, you can skip the wading pool.”

“You could stand in it.  It’s not like you would have to swim.”

“No.”

“Fine.”

“You look tired, but in a good mood.”

“I’m staying up with all of you until two or three in the morning, so I’m tired.  But I love being with all of you, so I’m happy.”

He stared at her.  “Humans complicate everything.  You know that, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“Why?”

“A lot of reasons.  Mainly I think everyone is just bored.”

“So they fight and kill each other?  Complain and do everything they can to escape?”

“Pretty much.  Not everyone kills other people but most are trying to escape.”

“Cats are so much better than humans.”

“I agree, but I am not getting tested to see if I have feline markers in my blood.”

“You’re loss,” he said.

“I know I’ve asked you before, but why did you come here.  I mean why did you incarnate?”

“Probably because you need someone to look after you and that would me me.”

“Thank you.”

“You believe me?” he said, eating the last of his treats.

“Sure, why wouldn’t I?”

“Why did you come here?”

“Probably so you would have someone to watch over.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Why not?” she asked.

“I don’t know.  It just seems wrong.”

She nodded.  “The other reason would be that I was insane when I said I would do it.”

“That makes more sense.”

“Agree.”

“What do you know about brine shrimp?”

“Not a single thing,” she said.  “And before you ask, I’m not getting any for you.”

“What if it was for my birthday?”

“Is it your birthday?”

“It could be.”

“You don’t know when your birthday is, do you.”

“I was born in an alley and my mom never told me.  So, no.  Not really.”

“I brought you another book?”

“What about the brine shrimp question?”

“It’s about Lake Michigan.”

“Seriously?  Lake Michigan?”

“Yes.”

“It’s a killer lake.”

“It is.”

“Why would I want to read about a lake that kill those who go into it?”

“Because it’s only a few blocks away and it doesn’t kill that many people.”

“Are there shrimp in the lake?” he asked.

“Not really.”

“The only thing going for it is the huge litter box,” he said.

“You mean the beach?”

“Is that what you call it?”

“Tell me you’re kidding.”

“About what?” he snickered.

“It’s really a book about cats,” she said, pulling it out of her tote bag.

“I am a cat.  I don’t need a book to tell me that I am one.”

“I know that.  But…”

“What if I gave you a book about yourself.”

“Fine.  I’ll take it back,” she sighed, dropping it into the bag.

“I’d like a book on how to raise chickens.”

“No.”

“What are you reading?”

“A book on how women are discriminated against and never allowed to age and how they spend their whole lives trying to be a girl so they aren’t punished for growing up and becoming an old woman.”

“I’d rather read about Lake Michigan.”

“I don’t blame you.”

“Cats don’t have those kinds of problems.  Sure, an older cat might not be able to jump as high as he did when he was younger but no one would know that unless he jumped in front of other cats.  We don’t get wrinkles either.  Another plus about being feline.  Why do you read depressing books?”

“That’s a good question.”

“I mean it’s too late for you.  Look at you.  You’re not a girl, except genetically.  Your girlhood has been gone for a long time, if you ask me”

“I didn’t ask you.”

“I was trying to be helpful,” he said, licking his shoulder.  “How about a book on raising rabbits?”

“No.”

“Are you leaving?”

“Yes,” she said, standing up.  “I’m going to build a cat wall in the living room and dining room.  You know, shelves and tunnels you can climb and…”

“We live outside.  We can climb everything.”

“So you don’t want a climbing wall.”

“Look over there,” he said.

She tuned and saw Timmy, a tiger striped cat, walking along the top of a fence.  He jumped from the fence to the branch of a tree, then onto the porch of an apartment building.”

“You’re right,” she said.  “You guys don’t need a climbing wall.  I didn’t think it through.”

“Duh.”

“I’ll see you tonight,” she said, bending to kiss him all over his face and listen to him purr.  “I have new catnip for everyone.  So take a nice nap and tell Jinx where I put his food.  I love you.”