Santa heading back to the North Pole…
Photo: Yra Forrat
Pexels
Santa
came to America
and found that
the streets weren’t paved
with gold
they were covered
with corruption
greed
and homeless people
blood
and racism
poverty
violence
sexism
and hatred
the haves
and the have nots
someone hit him
took his
boots
his red suit
and his hat
he was cold
his stomach rumbled
hunger and thirst
made him tired
he had no cookies
or reindeer
no sleigh
he thought about the presents
he left for the children
useless things
when what they needed
was safety
health care
FOOD
shelter
clothing
education
protection
and he wept
for he had none of those things
to give
but after sitting in an alley
next to a sleeping man
he realized
that he could do something
he could take
instead of giving
he could
become a new
Robin Hood
taking from the rich
and giving to the poor
he could leave coal
at the homes of those
in the government
he could change
CHRISTMAS
yes, yes
he could do that
he could make America
a better place
but first
he needed
to find his way home
Photo: Donald Teel
Unsplash
Randolph is going to be Santa in his school’s play. He wanted to be a snow person, but three other kids picked the snow people’s costumes before he did, so he’s Santa. He said the beard itches and he doesn’t like the hat. He’s thinking of catching a cold, so he doesn’t have to be in the play at all. His teacher said, “Break a leg,” and he thought that was also an option, but it might hurt and he wouldn’t be able to play outside.
In the end, he simply handed in his resignation, signed, sealed and notarized by the kid next door. He gave it to his teacher and told her that she wasn’t his commander and he wasn’t in the air force, and he absolutely refused to be in the stupid play.
She burst out laughing and accepted his resignation. He said he’d be happy to be in Stage Crew, as long as he didn’t have to wear a costume and make a fool of himself in front of an audience. She agreed and said he should become a lawyer. He told her that’s all he ever wanted to be, besides a dragon, of course.
Sally is going to be Santa. She’s excited about it and now everyone is happy. Well, except for Billy who wanted to be a tree but ended up being the moon. Not everyone wins.
Blue Bell won the Santa contest. She has her Santa suit, but refuses to wear the beard because it makes her sneeze and she looks silly. Everyone agreed that the beard didn’t matter in the least and the chicklets and guests lined up to tell her what they wanted for Chickmas.
Did you get the Reindeer Newsletter? The one that talks about the Reindeer Strike? Seems Santa started hanging around with some unsavory elves, making bad decisions. Ms. Claus was so disgusted she left, leaving everyone without cookies, hot chocolate and treats. You can imagine how well that went over. She said she was tired of baking and taking care of Santa (his real name is Bob, by the way). She grew weary of keeping his red suit in shape and making sure he checked the naughty and nice lists, which she sometimes changed, after doing a bit of research. Santa had gotten lazy and just followed the list, never looking for errors, which meant that sometimes the wrong kids did, or did not. receive gifts.
She told him she was leaving, but he didn’t believe her. Well, he did, once he realized she was gone. She let the reindeer know where she was going, in case they needed her, but they remained silent when asked where she was. That’s when they decided to go on strike. They didn’t want shorter hours, since they only worked one night a year, and their food was great, as were their accommodations. It’s just that Santa had stopped spending time with them. He no longer came to the barn for chats. He didn’t brush them or tell them they were beautiful. He left that up to others. He was neglecting them in too ways that mattered.
The worker elves tried to talk to him but he struck a pose and let his attitude show. His smoking and drinking had become the norm. He no longer checked the toys and his smelly, smoke filled, jacket and hat, made Dancer sneeze and rub his nose against the sides of his spacious stall.
When the reindeer told Santa they wouldn’t pull the sleigh, unless he cleaned up his act, he told them he would just skip Christmas this year. He said he would find new reindeer for next year. The reindeer and elves were shocked. And just where did he think he would find more flying reindeer?
Prancer called Ms. Claus and told her what Santa said. She didn’t seem surprised. They talked for a long time and came up with a plan. Prancer talked to the others and they agreed that it was an excellent plan, so they left the barn and took to the sky.
This year, the reindeer will be pulling a new vehicle, driven by Ms. Claus. The lists will be correct and the bullies won’t even get coal. Everything in life changes…even Santa.
Photo: hue 12 Photography
Unsplash
The chicklets are getting old Chickmas pictures out to get the ball rolling on Chickmas. They don’t like thanksgiving, or November. They celebrate turkeys, of course, but they know how many birds are slaughtered so that people can eat them. That’s why they usually jump right to Chickmas. So the Halloween guests have left, except for a few stragglers, and Chickmas music can be heard now and then, as the chicklets get together with their committees to plan for the next big event.
It’s kind of strange to see kids get excited to get gifts from a weird guy in a red suit with a matching hat. The above Santa is lacking a bit, when it comes to a bowl full of jelly. If one looks at his levi’s and cowboy boots, one could only think that he actually rode a reindeer to this house. I don’t think Santa had a pony tail either. Still, the baby is hysterically happy and that’s what christmas is all about, right? Personally, I hope he gives the baby the bear he has in his pocket. I mean, it’s the right thing to do. He’s a baby in a diaper, he should have a bear.
Hey, I’m just sayin’.
Written
on December 7, 2019