Santa’s reindeer are all
female
yes
all of them
even Rudolph
just like Lassie
females don’t get the credit
they deserve
so this holiday season
when you put reindeer food out
with Santa’s cookies
write a little note
and thank the fabulous females
for all their hard work
Picture: Pixabay
We’re kind of immortal, just like Santa. Well, that’s not quite true. There have been a couple of Santa’s, since the beginning of time, but it’s as close to immortal as one can possibly get, without actually being it. Never mind.
So you’ve probably heard (I wanted to say herd, but the other reindeer told me not to pun or fool around) that we went on strike after Ms. Claus left. We decided to work with her, since she takes things seriously and bakes cookies for us. She also spends time with us and hugs us a lot. Santa didn’t even blink an eye when we all left. He has completely lost his focus. I mean, you’d think that working one day a year. he could get his act together but it’s not happening.
The rest of the reindeer want you to know that we will be on the job Christmas Eve. Ms. Claus has everything worked out and the gifts will be under the trees. She said she’s going to check the list more than twice and make sure every child gets a gift, except for the bullies and mean kids. Ms. Claus said that people make too many excuses for bad behavior and give bullies too many chances. She said adults don’t want to take the time to do anything about what bullies do. It doesn’t matter why they are the way they are, the point is that the kids they bully often kill themselves, or are destroyed by what bullies are allowed to do to them. She believes the focus should be on saving others from the bullies, no matter what they have to them. She feels that it’s time we stop letting bullies, no matter their age or position in power, have their own way. No one should be able to destroy others and make school or work a living hell. She said we won’t be stopping at any of their houses.
Anyway, we’re on the job, so no worries. We appreciate the cookies, carrots and sugar cubes you put out for us. Thank you. We might only work one night a year, but it’s a very long night, as we follow the moon around the earth. Ms. Claus has a spa day set aside for us on Christmas Day. We’re looking forward to that.
We’ve been working out four hours a day. Flying in formation and flying with heavy loads. We stay in shape, but it’s always a good idea to warm up before the big night.
Some of the elves have moved in with us, so our friends are taking care of us and it’s wonderful to be together again. Well, get your jingle on and be sure to put twinkle lights EVERYWHERE. Merry, merry. See you soon. You won’t see us, of course, but still….
Photo: Nicolas Lafargue
Upsplash
“I told Santa, it’s a different world out there. People are crazy and I think we’re in danger, not only from the regular humans but from the military humans as well. What if they get us mixed up with the real UFOs? Then what? It’s not like we can defend ourselves. I told him we’re fast, but not faster than a bullet or a laser beam.
He told me to relax. He said no one would try and take out Santa, or any of us, but I think that’s wishful thinking. He does a lot of that, you know. I mean it’s part of his job but when it comes to safety, well, he’s not very good at that and all the wishful thinking in the world won’t save us.
Dancer agrees with me. She’s also said there are a lot more kids than there used to be, so we have to increase the number of deliveries we make each year.
Vixen, and she is one I can tell you that, said we should just fly over places and drop presents on the ground, then let the kids fight it out themselves.
Dasher was horrified, but then he would be. His the nicest reindeer of all. We call him Mushie behind his back, because kids turn him to mush. He likes kids. I mean kids are okay, but he would give them rides, if Santa would let him.
Donner said he’s only pulling the sleigh because he just has to work one night a year. Donner’s not lazy, he simply likes to listen to music and read. Oh, and he loves cats. Cats are always sleeping in his hay.
Cupid is constantly busy setting up other reindeer. Fancies himself a matchmaker and to be fair about it, he’s exceptionally good at it. He likes to see other reindeer happy. He also likes to play in the snow and there are always fairies fluttering around him. For some reason they absolutely adore him. When we tease him about the fairies, but he just snorts at us. Vixen said his pheromones attract them but I think it’s just his charming personality. He’s down to earth and very sweet.
Blitzen is the fastest. He’s amazing. I’ve never seen anyone quicker, or better able to change directions, with a second’s notice. It’s just a natural ability. He calls us slow-pokes, whatever that means, because we have to work to keep up with him. Dancer said that’s a good thing, because of all the new houses we have to go to each year. She’s probably right.
Comet stays out of our discussions, since he’s far too busy looking at the sky. He keeps looking for a comet, thinking it will be a long lost sibling. We’ve tried to explain that things don’t work that way, but he won’t listen and dismisses the facts with a shake of his head.
Rudy’s nose has been bothering him lately. It shorts out now and then, so he said he may skip this year. He’s a lot older and I think some of the thrill has worn off.
Anyway, I suggested Kevlar for each of us but the Ho Ho Ho man said I was overreacting. I don’t think that I am, but I’m not the one in charge. I guess we’ll simply have to take our chances. The naughty list is bigger than ever, so that will make the trip shorter. Santa won’t have to take his bag with him when he stops at those houses.
The reindeer tryouts are coming along nicely. Thirty reindeer showed up. I think we have it down to the final five. Flying lessons will begin at the end of the week, so the reindeer will be ready if they are needed. The toys are almost finished and wrapped, so we’re ahead of schedule.
Excitement is high and everyone is full of cocoa and marshmallows. I hope you’ve been good so we can bring you what you wanted. I can hear Ms Clause walking through the barn. That means cookies. I hope you have cookies too. Cookies are a part of life, you know. Especially at this time of the year, so indulge and have fun.”
Rethinking Life 
Written
on December 15, 2019