Does the universe, or whatever you believe in, have our backs? Do things always happen for a reason? Is misery and suffering in our lives to teach us lessons, or the ever insane belief that without the bad stuff we wouldn’t appreciate the good stuff. OMG Ok, moving on…
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that for the overwhelming majority of people, if given the choice, they would say no to the horrors of life. Most would say that they didn’t want their kids/loved ones, pets, or pretty much anyone they cared about, to suffer and die. I’m guessing that most would agree that living in your car, or on the street, with your kids and dogs, is less preferable than living in the house you lost to the government’s greed. I would also think that most people would say no to deadly disease or war. Most people. I do realize that there are those who get off on misery and love to complain and suffer. It’s their thing and they are welcome to it.
Having said that, all of those awful things happen and I personally believe that they happen just to torture us and destroy the peace, tranquility and joy that people would otherwise have in their lives. We make up sayings, “That’s the way it’s supposed to be,” or “There’s a reason for everything.” Yeah, there IS a reason for everything but it might not be the reason we think it is. The reason might be to show us that peace, love, joy and all the good things we tell ourselves are possible…are not possible at all, except for fleeting moments before the next building falls on us.
Here’s the thing. If your children die, and your husband dies and all your friends die and every animal you’ve ever loved dies, the only possible lesson is that everything dies. We already know that. Another lesson could be to teach us that it’s better to live a life without anyone in it. That way we don’t have to watch anyone die and take parts of us away with them. I know that some of you are saying, “It’s worth the pain to have them in our lives.” No, it isn’t. At least not for everyone
Then there are all the things in our culture that tell us to follow our dreams, dream big, and, while you’re at it, try and overcome the fact that you’re a minority, or a woman, and there’s no real place for you ANYWHERE because all the doors are locked and bolted and any tiny inroad you make lands you on the cover of a magazine to try and show the billions of other women and minorities that someone actually made it in a rich white man’s world. Fuck that! Yes, that IS a run on sentence and I take full responsibility for it.
Some of you many not believe it, but I don’t have anger issues. I have rage issues. Rage at a society that shoves stupid sayings down the throats of those who are PURPOSELY held back and don’t have a chance to do anything it says on the sighs they buy for $5.
Let’s talk porn. Well, not exactly. How many porn shops are in your neighborhood? I had a thing about this years ago, when I was a speaker at a American Bar Association conference. I’m sure most of you don’t have porn shops anywhere near you, let alone down the block. Some of you might, but not most. Here’s why…the more money you have the less you are exposed to the ugly side of life. Therefore, if you are a minority, poor, have less access to jobs and education, the society can put anything it wants in your neighborhood and you can’t do anything about it because they don’t care if it’s a bad example for your kids, they don’t care if the crime rate soars and it’s even MORE dangerous for you and your kids to be outside. No once cares because the people who are pushed to the bottom aren’t worth being cared about…they don’t have money, therefore, they don’t have power. No one know what women and minorities can do because they are never given a REAL chance to do anything…at least not in the white man’s world. And, truthfully we should not aspire to be anything like white males, we need to forge new pathways and leave them in our dust. I was fighting with a couple of the white men, because I had the stats that showed how many women were raped and how incredibly high the crime rate was, in poor neighborhoods where porn and prostitution were everywhere. One guy, a minority at that, said well, there were only x amount of women who were hurt, or KILLED and that was an ACCEPTABLE NUMBER. I asked all of them if the number would be acceptable if the number included their mothers, wives or daughters. They look away, remain silent because THERE IS NOTHING FOR THEM TO SAY THAT WON’T MAKE THEM LOOK LIKE THE IDIOTS THAT THEY ARE. It’s easy for them to not care about dead women. That’s why abortion is an issue. They talk about women as if there IS an ACCEPTABLE number of dead, or damaged women. No biggie, right? They’re just WOMEN, after all. Prey, slaves, there to be used and abused. Things walking around. I had this discussion with a guy from the ACLU when we were on TV. Insane. Women are less. Other. Worthless, except for what men want them for. The clean-up, unpaid workers of the world. But if don’t think about those things. Learn about them, our lives can be filled with gardening and nice things. But they are our sisters. They are us with less money and power. We could all BECOME THEM, if the white men change the rules. Where is our solidarity? I never understand that part.
Money is nothing more than paper and pieces of metal. We give it it’s value. We pay for that VALUE, in LIVES. Human beings are less valuable than paper and metal. There IS no other way to look at it. Seriously, think about it. Paper bought people who were kidnapped from their own country and brought here to work for more WHITE MEN. Money/paper/bits of silver and gold ARE MORE VALUABLE THAT HUMAN BEINGS, to the men in power. It’s always BEEN that way. They BOUGHT people. They are still buying people. They’re even buying us.
Getting back to the beginning, is being beaten, raped, uneducated, jobless, sick, half dead, living on the street, a lesson anyone would choose to learn? Some would say yes. There are those who believe that we come back here again and again, in order to experience everything this place has to offer. If that is the case, and it might be, since we don’t have a clue what this place is for, or about, or what we’re doing here, then the place we come FROM, must be boring as hell, or we are totally into torture, violence, death, inequality and misery for the many, while the few float along on their bits of paper and metal, stepping on those who have been deemed unworthy for their lack of those very things.
So we tell ourselves to pull ourselves together. Religious people think god takes their kids because he needs more angels. I could say a lot about that but it’s none of my business, not really. If that makes people feel better, have at it. Apparently they never ask god WHY he would do that to a kid, but again, none of my business. It’s easier for people to not ask questions and just put money in the collection plate. Anyway, we make things up to make ourselves feel better. None of our signs say, OVERTHROW THE EGOMANIACS WHO ARE DESTROYING OUR WORLD. No, they tell us to try harder, to look the other way. The tell us to dream, instead of taking action. They tell us to shut up and be satisfied with what we have because things could be so much WORSE! It’s like sleeping pills for the masses. Starts in first grade…sit down…shut up…don’t think…don’t act out…never upset the status quo…the sky is blue not pink…stand in line…wait your turn, speak softly and don’t carry a big stick, stay on the path the government has set for you, don’t whine, don’t complain, or things will get worse because you have no power and they have power OVER you and everything you do, give them your earnings so they can go on vacations, or buy bigger mansions, don’t tell anyone the priest rapes you every week, DON’T TELL, DON’T MAKE TROUBLE…DON DO ANYTHING…JUST TAKE IT. I don’t know WHY WE ACCEPT THIS GARBAGE when things don’t have to be this way. Or, maybe they do have to be this way. Maybe things can’t be any other way. How do can we know? Maybe there’s absolutely NOTHING we can do to make things different, even though things WERE different before. Not perfect, just different.
Drugs are a problem so huge I don’t know if can ever be taken apart. Imagine if all the drugs were stopped today. All of them, except for antibiotics and for people in hospitals. Those hooked on pain killers, anti-depressants, pot, heroin, coke, Molly, well, all of them. How do you think people would react? Not a pretty picture, that’s for sure. People are being given addictive drugs, knowing that a great many of them will never stop taking them. Addicts are rarely concerned with what’s happening to the rainforests. Addicts are easy to manage…just give them more of what they want, or let them kill themselves, each other, or any innocent people they rob for money to buy more drugs. Helping people become addicts is akin to turning on the TV so the kids won’t bother anyone. Addicts are focused, they don’t bother the government or those in power, they just want more drugs. It’s a win-win, for the government.
People have lost their confidence. Well, it’s been taken away from them, actually. Classes and books on how to be a GRANDPARENT, how to do this, how to do that. As if no one knows how to live without instructions. A pediatrician told me years ago that he didn’t know what was happening. Parents were calling about things they never called about before. His office was filled with kids who didn’t need to be seen. Parents were terrified about everything. He said it was as if no one knew how to take care of their kids any longer.
Fear makes people give their power away (and their kids to war) to those they think will keep them safe. The thing is, we need to be protected FROM the people we are giving our power to, because THEY are the ones who are the real danger. Everything is BACKWARD. So an entire country stops thinking for itself and lets the idiots take over their lives. I used to resent being considered a herd animal but truthfully, the rich white guys are right. Most of act like cattle. Huddled together, being led to slaughter, no one turns to the others and says, “Hey, this seems like a really BAD idea. Can’t you hear all the screaming ahead? Maybe, we should turn around and go the OTHER way.” A couple of the other cows and bulls will say, “It’s gods will, he will take care of us.” Another will say. “There’s a reason for everything,” never thinking the reason might be to TURN AROUND AND BLOODY RUN THE OTHER WAY.
Noting will ever change if we don’t change it. That’s the truth. Things are getting worse. More wars will kill more kids, more people will become poor, as the rich get richer. More people will get hooked on drugs. The environment will continue to be destroyed and extinction will speed up. People will be out of work and if the government does away with money, they will know every single penny you spend, where and why. 1984 on speed, is right outside our door.
I’m just glad I’m not at the beginning of my life. Really. I’m way closer to the end and I’m happy that I got to live through times that were private, polite, kinder, and free. The idea of a police state wasn’t even a thought. The electronic age sucks, even as I type on this computer. So much has been lost to make room for gadgets and speed. But soon, no one will remember the past…today will be their past and they will laugh at the fact that people had laptops instead of chips implanted in their brains at birth. That’s the way it goes. They’ll look at pictures of people eating and snicker, while popping a pill into their mouths that contains everything they need to stay healthy. No dishes, no need for food, or cooks, stoves, or even kitchens. Life will evolve…until it’s over.
Well, this is a long rant and there are a lot of run on sentences but this is what I was thinking about this morning. That and how pretty Emily is. I was petting her for about twenty minutes. And my tulips are fabulous and the other plants are blooming as well. The snow is melting and it’s a wonderful day. If I could just live in my wee bubble with my books and art and the things that make me happy, everything would be okay. But I can’t stop thinking that I’m part of the world and the world is being fucked by a few half witted power hungry, evil, greedy, morons. Other than that, everything is just peachy.
It’s time for lunch. I think I’ll make a salad and read, while sitting among all the beautiful plants. I can do that because I’m a white, well educated, female who is better off than some women who never had the advantages I had. I can’t ever forget that. Not ever.