Okay, so…Valentine’s Day

Some people complain about V Day.  They think it’s just more gifts to buy.  Too many holidays in a row with Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s.  But here’s the thing.  I don’t think we celebrate enough. 

Years and years ago, I went to the counter to pay for a bunch of cards for one of the holidays.  Cards for aunts, uncles, grandparents, parents, kids, etc.  The woman who waited on me said that people often complained about the cost of the cards but she wished that she had someone to send them to.  She said the cost didn’t matter.  She said she didn’t have anyone left.  No one to buy cards for.  She told me I was lucky.  She was right…I was.

Her words stayed with me.  She made me realize how fortunate I was to have so many people in my life.  I always bought them things, sent cards, got their favorite candy, and told them I loved them, but I never thought about them being gone.  I just took it for granted that they would always be there.  Well, they are gone now.  All of them.  I no longer have to buy special cards for fifteen people.

Once the woman behind the counter made me realize that the people in my life would not be there forever, I was happy that I never stopped reminding them of how often I thought of them, how important they were to me.

I think celebrating, gift giving (no matter how small), should be something wonderful, not something to fret over and grumble about.  Add bows, balloons, brownies and whatever people love, and let others know how important they are to you.  A card, purchased, or handmade, simply tells some one that you are thinking about them…that they matter.

I was young, and you don’t really think about people dying, when you’re so full of life, but I’m so happy she made me see how lucky I was.  I’m grateful to her and I’m so happy that I was able to give little bits of this and that to the people around me, so they knew that I cared.

So celebrate little things and big things.  It matters and I’ve learned never to put things off, because you might not get another chance to send that card, or tell someone you love them.  Now is all we ever have.  And as much as we’d like to believe that it’s only the aged that leave us, it’s not true.  Celebrations are important, no matter how wee.

Valentine’s Day may be commercial (what isn’t), but so what…who cares?  It’s just one more day to remember someone.  One more day to break away from our normal routine and do something different for those around you.  A phone call, a real card, instead of a text message…flowers sent.

If you have people to remember, consider yourself fortunate.  It’s not a chore to buy a card, or a candy bar, it’s a gift to have those people around you for as long as you can.  Don’t forget that.  I never did.

The woman behind the counter opened my eyes.  I will be forever grateful to her.

Okay, so…Reading, Addiction

Two days ago, I realized my book addiction had reached a new high.  I sat down and started reading a book I was into, and had to  laugh because I was listening to a book on my headphones.  I had been cleaning and listening to the book, but saw the book I had been reading and just picked it up and…well…I may have a problem.

I just read another 643 page book today and I can’t wait to finish another one and start the next one in the series and I’m getting two new books in the mail today, to add to the nine million in my TBR pile.  And yes.  I have always been like this.

 

Okay, so…

I just watched a two hour program on Maya Angelou.  Tough and fabulous woman.  Helped and changed the lives of many.  Touched untold numbers of people.  Knew everyone there was to know and, at times, had a blast.  She went through some terrible times and some wonderful ones.

But here’s the thing.  There’s only one of her.

What I mean by that, is that no one else can be Miss Angelou.  We can all only be who we are as individuals.  It’s not everyone’s job to write plays, sing, dance, write poetry, do all the things she did.  It is everyone’s job to be who they are.  See, THAT’S what diversity really IS.  No two alike.

There is no possible way for an individual to know how many others, she, or he, touches.  We, of course, don’t know how we are changed by others.  Sure, if the change is dramatic, we might know, but there are millions of things we hear, read, or see everyday, that alter the path we’re on.  Most of the time those events take place and we don’t even know it.

I think we’re like bumper cars.  We nudge each other, crash into each other, and push each other, ALL the time.  We do it in so many ways.  The written word, art, music, dance, or just passing by.

Here’s a perfect example.  Today, my son-in-law parked his truck/huge van outside a store.  When he came out, there was another truck just like his, which is impossible.  His van is tricked out to the max.  It has flames, under carriage lighting, all kinds of things.  The owner of the other truck was leaning against it. He told my son-in-law that he was hoping to meet him because one day he had seen his truck in the parking lot and loved it so much he sold his ride immediately, bought the same truck, and copied everything he did.  He was so happy that he got to tell him.  My son-in-law was surprised but happy.

If my son-in-law had never seen his truck’s “twin,” he never would have known how much he affected the guy who copied off of him.

We do that to each other all the time.  We’re all like tiny Maya Angelou’s,  just with much smaller audiences.

Our blogs reach out and touch thousands upon thousands of people.  They make us laugh, create, cook, get angry, take a stand,  see other countries and towns, take action, and many times, some of us actually become friends.

Because of the media and all the reality shows and awards, we are bombarded with, some people think that people only matter if they are famous.  That’s what we are led to believe, because it stops us from becoming all that we can be.  All the flash tends to make people give up.

I think each of us has a role to play while we’re here.  Don’t imitate others.  Be that fabulous individual that you are and show us whatcha got, cuz we’re all out here, just waiting to see what you can do.

Okay, so…

I’m sitting here, looking out the kitchen window, eating huge chocolate chips right out of the bag, typing and watching summer pack her bags, as she gets ready to move on.  I’m telling myself the chips are good for my heart, since they’re dark chocolate.  I’ll lie to myself about anything that’s chocolate.  It’s just the way things are.  I’m okay with that.

Emily is feeling better, now that she’s not getting that horrible Fancy Feast food, and she ate all of her breakfast, so that made me deliriously happy, since my mood is pretty much attached to how my cat feels.  I have given all my personal power to my cat.  Sad, I know, but what can I say.

Then my daughter called and said, “Let’s do a quick regression,” which could mean past or future lives to us, and I said, “Sure.”  After having done a million of them, it took two seconds for her to be somewhere else.  We figured out what she needed to know and then started looking around for other things, and  here’s what we learned:

The virus is rebooting the world.  Amid the terrible tragedy of lost lives and heartbreak, others are learning that there’s more to life than slaving away at a job, for little money and no real security, so that the rich can become richer.  It’s making people realize they have been conditioned to WORK for someone else, someone who decides what they should get, or have, while taking everything they want for themselves.  It’s teaching people that there’s more to life than OBEYING the rules.

Bikes are out of stock, as are tents, campers, pools, yarn, craft supplies and a million other things.  People are spending time with their pets, kids, families, hobbies, and just relaxing.  They started by cleaning out their attics and basements, getting rid of old baggage. They are hiking, bird watching, planting flowers, making gardens, reading and doing things they didn’t have time for before.  People are saying things, like, “I never want to sit behind a desk all day again.”

Amid all the terrible things that are happening, some people are waking up!  Some are recognizing the problems that have been covered up, in our culture, hidden, or lied about.  People are marching again.  Poverty and VIOLENCE, are being spotlighted, as is the horrific CORRUPTION that we call GOVERNMENT.

The virus is shaking things up, it’s giving us time to regroup and re-see what’s going on.  Education needs to be revamped, it has needed it for YEARS AND YEARS.  America’s CORRUPTION is there for all to see, it’s RACISM, SEXISM, and all it’s other ISMS, showing the world what we are really made of.  PEOPLE need to use this information to begin again.  To make changes and make demands.  To get other countries that would destroy us, OUT OF OUR BUSINESS AND ELECTIONS.  To stop the hateful religious, conservative right from destroying the freedom of others.

We’ve seen the earth blossom, during our absence.  The canals in Venice were clear enough that dolphins returned and could be seen swimming in the water.  Animals cane into cities and towns and made themselves at home.  The air and water quality improved so much, the clean air could be seen from space.  The earth stopped trembling as much.  Healing was taking place…healing such as we have never seen, all because of the virus. The earth was trying to show us that things could be DIFFERENT, if we just paid attention.

But we are a divided country and that’s not going to go away.  It’s also being done on purpose.  But people are being forced to look at their own lives and the world around them in different ways.  They have the time to do that, to see that life isn’t just birth, learning lies and obedience in schools, then slaving away for the rich, then dying.  There’s more to life than that, at least there should be.  That’s the flip side of the horrible virus.  People can see the LIES they are being fed by a CORRUPT GOVERNMENT, while they are unchained from jobs that took all of their time and distracted them from the truth.  Many so unfulfilled by their jobs, exhausted and disillusioned, that they watched television and slept, doing the same thing day after day until their lives were over.

Anyway, after that, I went for a walk, came home, made chocolate chip pancakes and enjoyed them very much, talked to a few friends on the phone and put things on my blog.

Someone once said that even the darkest cloud has a silver lining.  It certainly doesn’t seem like it sometimes, but I have to admit that it’s probably true.  It just depends on which part of the cloud you’re sitting under, I suppose.

Right now division and hatred is being fed and watered by an evil government set on starting a civil war, or a complete breakdown of our society.  It’s up to us not to let that continue.  We can’t fix that by talking to each other, we need to fix it by stopping the source of the hatred.  We need to stop our government from destroying us.  

How was your morning?

Okay, so…

If we all married someone a different color than ourselves, it wouldn’t take very long for everyone to be one beautiful color.  People who were black or white would stand out and be considered “Other.”  Kids would look in books to see pictures of white people and gasp at their pale complexion.  They would ask if white people were sick.  If they could go out in the sun.  If they were Vampires.  Think about it.  If everyone was a luscious brown, what would white people look like to kids who had never seen them?

I realize that wouldn’t solve much.  People would just find something else to fight about, be prejudice over.  But far down the line, who would remember racism?  Who would ever think of people being harmed because of the color of their skin?  They would think we were horrible, insane, pathetic, barbaric.  They would be right, of course, but sometimes we can’t see the terrible things we do unless we look behind us.  Too far behind us.  Sure we would lose diversity but that would be better than what we have now.  White, male, power.

Women could change things but like race, women are kept in line with violence and brutality, laws and hatred.  Anything that could bring about equality and fairness, anything that would threaten the status quo, is treated with violence and even death.

See, the thing is, most people only think, or act, on things that only affect them personally.  If their kids aren’t being shot in the street because of their color, then it’s not their problem.  But it is everyone’s problem.   Cutting off lives, talent, creativity, beauty and intelligence because of color or gender IS a crime against each of us.  People have been conditioned to NOT see that. To NOT see the terrible loss that hatred causes, that greed, prejudice and inequality steals from our culture and lives.

I don’t know how to change anything.  I used to think I did.  I tried.  Now the Klan and rape are  on college campuses.  All those years of trying to make things better and things are worse.  I don’t want to believe that we can’t make a difference but all the evidence points to that.  What do we do now?  Like minded people just talk to each other.  They don’t have money to fight long term, even short term.  The money is backing the rich and powerful, not the people.

We are living in interesting times…deadly, mean, greedy, times.  I read something by an anthropologist who said that it’s exciting to look back on times like these, times when great changes are taking place.  She said that it’s not fun to LIVE through them, just to look back on them.  Apparently they happen with some regularity.  If that’s true, it just shows that we never learn anything and they we keep making the same mistakes over and over again.  Not interesting at all…just pathetic.

 

Okay, so…

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We only see the color RED because of the electromagnetic waves that our eyes pick up. When we see RED, we may each see a different color RED, depending on our individual eyes and the degree of colorblindness in play.  After Monet had cataract surgery he was astonished to see how much blue he had used in his work because it didn’t look like that when he was painting.  Anyway, other animals see different things because their eyes are made differently than our.  Some can see in infrared which doesn’t make them better than us, just different.  Eagles can see so far away that we can’t imagine what it’s like to see the way they do.  The thing is, when we agree that something is RED, we are agreeing to something that is different to each one of us.  We believe what we see is real but what we see has to do with physics and our physical makeup.  Someone named a color RED.  If we didn’t name it, what would it be?  Labels and names are GIVEN to things and are politically loaded. REDS stood for communists, at one time and communists has a meaning of its own, which again, will be different for many.

You get what I’m saying, right?  If we didn’t label things, they wouldn’t mean anything because we CREATE the meaning of EVERYTHING by what we call it.   What we name something only has a general meaning to certain people in certain places at certain times because there is NO real meaning for anything.  NONE at all. Eskimo’s have over a hundred words to describe snow. I have only one.  Like the animals, snow probably doesn’t care what we call it because it knows what it is in spite of us.

We have think about who made up the names and labels we use.  They aren’t real but are meant to control and harm, elevate and celebrate, only certain individuals. The thing is, MEN MADE EVERYTHING UP and yet we believe that IT’S REAL.  It’s NOT.  Definitions/labels  are weapon, designed to isolate us from each other.  Used to start wars, to kill, to hate.  They were made up and used by the privileged to harm everyone else.

We might not be able to change the wavelengths of colors, but we CAN change the way we allow definitions and labels to invade our thoughts/thinking.  We can REJECT the use of words/definitions/labels when they are used as violence.

The important thing is to remember that we are conditioned/brainwashed to see a color and call it RED, by our culture/society, just as we are conditioned/brainwashed to believe that some people are our enemies, that women can be sluts and that certain groups of people are unacceptable and worthless, deserving to be beaten and abused.  That’s what labels are for. They give people permission to harm others and take away their freedom/rights.  We agree to see RED as RED and we agree to see other countries/people as ENEMIES for no reason other than SOMEONE WHO PROFITS FROM OUR AGREEMENT, TELLS US THAT’S WHAT WE SHOULD SEE.

In the novel, 1984, the government reprogrammed it’s citizens and tortured them until they agreed, and believed, that 2+2= 5. Believing that women, gays and minorities are LESS, is the same exact thing. Believing that people who don’t believe in your religion are going to hell, is the exact same thing.   If we were taught that 2+2=5, in school, then 2 + 2  would actually = 5 and no one would think twice about it.  THAT is what is happening NOW.   Look at the definitions and labels that are currently coming out of the white house. Say it enough times, teach it in school and alternative facts will become a real thing and future generations will believe it was always a real thing.  We believe things that came from the past and believe there there was a basis for them when there wasn’t.  It’s brainwashing.

We believe that RED is RED and that it exists because it’s true when, in fact, it’s only true to those with eyes like ours and all that means is that there are different ways of seeing the same thing.  Everyone can be wrong and everyone can be right…it depends on who is doing the defining and labeling.  If rich white males are making up the definitions and they are and always have been, then the rest of us will always be labeled less.

 

Okay, so…

That saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” and the belief that hardship, tragedy and all the other miseries of life makes you a better person, or teaches you valuable lessons, may work for a few people but there are many who don’t believe that the only way to be happy and appreciate joy is to have lived without it.

Teenager are killing themselves.  Soldiers are killing themselves.  A lot of people are committing suicide.  If that’s not enough to show how insane those misguided beliefs are, I don’t know what is.   Another thing to take into consideration is the FACT that what happens to a person has to do with HOW MUCH MONEY THEY HAVE.  If you have money you can get help.  If you don’t have money, things are not available to you.  Education counts and so does support system from family and friends.  So it’s much easier to “overcome” certain things if you are comfortable and can afford to do what you have to do.

Then there’s the idea that maybe the people who commit suicide know more than those of who don’t.  Maybe they are the smart ones and know when to cut their losses and get out of here.  You may scoff at that, or be horrified, but remember that we have no idea what’s going on.  We make everything up.  EVERYTHING.

There is ABSOLUTELY NO PROOF that experiencing sickness, death of loved ones, hunger, poverty, war, or anything else, makes people HAPPIER.  Individuals may say things like that and good for them, but on the whole.  HARDSHIP can leave people broken, depressed, sad and lost.

We need to stop pretending that these beliefs and sayings mean something to most people.  It can make them feel WORSE, thinking there’s something WRONG with them because they DON’T FEEL STRONGER, OR BETTER, OR ANYTHING ELSE.  It’s just one more  way of making people feel like less. We HAVE TO STOP DOING THIS TO PEOPLE.

Death is a way to stop think of all this garbage.  People just quit.  No one can blame them, as the monks, gurus and holier than thou preach their words that crush people and send them to their death.  We need to tell each other that what’s happening SUCKS and they don’t have to get STRONGER they just need to breath and make it through another day and that’s okay.

Seriously, STOP IT.  Admit that life can KILL you.  I’m so SICK of these insane sayings and beliefs.  They HURT so many people.  What a terrible and limiting belief to think that you can only appreciate happiness and joy if you’ve been unhappy and miserable.  How twisted is THAT?  Don’t put up with that crap.  

 

Okay, so…

The sun’s out.  YAY!  I’m doing laundry and redoing the kitchen AGAIN.  I like to move stuff around, that way I get to see different things in different places and if I can get bored I suspect the stuff gets bored as well.  Right?  You THINK ceramic things and plants don’t know how to feel but you can’t really be sure.  Not in an esoteric sense.  Not really.  Some people don’t believe that stuffed animals are real either but they would also be wrong.  Hey if you live in my world then everything has feelings and needs to be treated with care and respect unless they’re human and then one needs to pick and choose.  When I was a child I was devastated when my father got a new car.  I was positive the old car would fall apart with sadness because we didn’t love her enough.  I knew she would miss us and I didn’t even get to say goodbye.  Still bothers me.  Poor thing.  People should take the feelings of small children into consideration when they do things like that.  I mourned her leaving. They tried to tell me it WAS JUST A CAR but I had a relationship with her that they didn’t understand.

The teeny-tiny ants came back to visit my kitchen.  I talked to them.  Told them I didn’t want to kill them and asked them to pleas leave.  They stayed.  I wrote them a note and told them I loved them and asked once again that they please leave.  They are gone.  We take too many things for granted.  Asking insects politely to do things has worked for me a couple of times.  They understand.  You just have to take the time to discuss things with them. Maybe not wasps but other bugs are good listeners and they often do as you ask. It’s all about respecting their feelings and being calm and logical.

Anyway, I planted flowers yesterday.  My neighbor was pulling out of her driveway and said that she was going to get more flowers because she planted too early and her flowers died a miserable death.  😦  She’s lived here all her life and knows better but we are desperate people.  I’ve done it myself and end up dragging huge pots into the garage and covering things with thick plastic garbage bags when frost hit.

Emmie and I walked around the patio this morning and moved a few things around.  The white cat with black spots was here a bit later.  I noticed he has a collar now.  He sleeps in the cat house on my front porch now and then.  I though he was a stray but apparently not.  So I’m happy about that.

I’ve been listening to Andrea Bocelli sing in Italian and don’t have a clue.  I need something like Queen if I’m ever going to finish/start cleaning.  My mantra is a Queen song…I WANT IT ALL AND I WANT IT NOW.  That’s the only way you get what you want in life.  You have to for it not sit around hoping things happen…ya have to make things happen, that’s why I have absolutely no regrets.  It’s not for everyone, of course, some people like to go slowly and hope for the best.  Yeah, that’s never gonna work for me.  I’ve always been excited about life because there it was…all of it…right in front of me and all I had to do was reach for it.  I’ve never stopped reaching and it can be delicious.

Okay, so…

No one is really white.  Take a sheet of typing paper and hold it up to your skin and then you’ll know what white looks like.  No one is brown or black either.  If you paint, you know there are different colors for each color…no one paints a face white.  I guess white just means your ancestors came from Europe.

None of us asked to be who we are.  None of us asked to look the way we do.  Genes aren’t racist, bigoted, discriminatory or hateful, they just are.  Eggs, sperm, genes, don’t think about what they make, they just do what they’re supposed to do, no emotional input needed.

So, here’s the thing.  On some forms there are boxes for White, Hispanic, African American and Other?  I guess “Other” means aliens from a different planet, or Eskimos, Islanders, etc.,  anyone who isn’t color coded.  Most black Americans have never been to Africa.  I’ve never been to Sweden, but I have been to Italy and since my father was 100% Italian, shouldn’t I be listed as Italian/Swedish American instead of White?  And how does a religion become a race?  If a person is Jewish, shouldn’t others be listed as Lutheran or Catholic or non religious?  Jewish people won’t tell you their nationality and just keep telling people what their religion is.  I don’t get it at all.  It’s as if they can’t understand the question.  Using that as a criteria, if a Jewish person asked me what nationality I was I would have to say that I wasn’t religious.  How does that work?

I mean if Hispanic is listed as a category, shouldn’t it be brown, tawny, tan, sun kissed, or something else instead? White people should be pink, orange, red, olive, and pasty.  Right?  I knew a woman who was ashy, white.  She looked like she was dead and she was so white she was scary. The whole issue is insane, unfair, illogical, biased, racist and discriminatory.  Unless your genetic make up has to do with health and specific illnesses that are tied to specific race, there’s no reason to declare what color or ancestry you have.  How does that make sense?  It doesn’t, it just makes it easier to discriminate against people, just like gender and age do.  That’s the real reason for labels in the first place.  We really suck as a species, in every way imaginable.  Almost all of us are mutts.   Everyone knows that mutts are stronger than purebreds.  We love and accept mutts. when it comes to our puppies.  To bad we can’t love and accept each other as people.  Just because I have blue eyes doesn’t mean I deserve more than anyone else.  No one deserves more than anyone else.  We talk about embracing things but we shut others down every chance we get.  We talk about love but teach hate.  Every institution teaches hate, including churches, who top the list.  We emphasize our differences constantly and rarely face the fact that we are all the same species, all human beings.  We talk and talk and talk and never do anything to make things better.  We don’t stop the haters, we toe the line and the worst of us are white because old, icky, white guys made the rules to begin with.  Until we face the violent and hateful things we do as a culture and species, noting will ever change.

Okay, so…

The other day I saw the old saying about walking metaphorically in the other person’s shoes.  I think it was on Pink’s blog but I couldn’t find it when I went looking for it.  See the thing is, while someone is saying that a person don’t understand what’s going on with them, the other person is also wearing shoes and feels the same way.  So that saying, like most others, is meaningless because we can never really understand what’s going on with anyone else.  Most people are doing the best they can, at least I think they are.  Everyone is going through something and each person’s “something,” is as important and meaningful as anyone else’s “something.”  I am writing about this in the most general of ways.  This does not include race, gender, etc., but, as I said, in a more general way.  If someone feels misunderstood, the other person may feel the same way because we are all wearing metaphorical shoes and each of us sees things in a unique and personal way.    Anyway, that’s the way I see it.