Yesterday was a nightmare. I totally freaked out, or as the kids today say, I tweaked out. I decided to go back and get the cat. Debbie talked me down this morning and said she would go with me, or go by herself, if I would just relax and not be insane. She told me to call so I did. The woman said I couldn’t have the cat back until about a week and a half because he was being sent to the vet tomorrow to be “fixed,” get of all his shots and be checked for worms. I was told that I could adopt him when he was healed and ready to go home. She said he was doing fine and the only time they have any problems with cats is if they are critically ill, or vicious. He is neither of those things. She gave me the number to call if I want to adopt him when he’s ready.
I was up all night and even though I didn’t say anything to Debbie she knows me well enough to know that I was freaking out. So, the bottom line is, she said it’s up to me, but he’s so beautiful and sweet that he’ll find a loving home, or we can go and get him once he’s been seen by the vet and can go home.
I can breath again. He is okay. I think with his front paws being deformed, someone may fall madly in love with him, you know how cute he is, and give him a good home, hopefully, with tweens, or kids who will play with him and love him.
I think I’m as okay as I’ll ever be (which isn’t saying much), and if I change my mind, I can go and get him later. I can handle ANYTHING but when it comes to animals I can’t think straight. I want all of them to live with me so I can hold them and keep them safe. As if I could do that. I’ve had so many cats in my yard for so many years, I can’t keep them all. My friend Candy rescues cats and has cats who kind of live on her back porch. She and her wonderful husband do rescue and release, after the cats see the vet and get fixed.
I KNOW that I always do the best I can but I always fail myself and never do enough for them. Sigh. I’m going to try and be, well, I’d say normal, but I’m not sure what that is for me, and take deep breaths and go out.
Every time I pick up an animal, or start feeding one around my house, Debbie and everyone else gets ready for me to start watching them and worrying about them and setting up houses everywhere. They know that if something happens to them, or they don’t come home for dinner…well, you know, they will have to deal with me.
I stop in the middle of four lane highways and get geese across the street, or get dogs to safety. I used to carry a box and blankets in my car to pick up anyone who needed help but I don’t do that any longer.
I’m tired. LOLOL So, I think I’m good, at least for awhile. Just wanted all of you who were so kind to me, to know how he was doing. The lady on the phone (after I called three times) said, I took this job to HELP animals, not harm them. And I told her I was so grateful and thanked her over and over again. LOL I don’t blame her for being upset with me but that made me feel a lot better. I love him and want him to be happy and have a good life. So, it’s just Em now and I think I’ll be able to sleep tonight.