“You guys need to fire all the weatherpeople,” he said. “At the very least, they should make minimum wage. Anyone who gets their job wrong on a regular basis, shouldn’t be doing it.”
“I agree,” she said, giving him a catnip mouse, along with his food.
“What’s this?” he asked.
“You know what it is. You’ve destroyed enough of them.”
He pushed it off the stoop. “Will they put all the women who have abortions in jail?”
“It wouldn’t surprise me.”
“Did any doctors come forward to protect their profession and the invasiveness of government into private decisions between them and their patients?”
“Of course not. Women are always left on their own. No men stepped forward and, in this case, no women doctors have come forward either.”
“Don’t you wish you were a cat?”
“If you were magic, you could turn yourself into one.”
“If I was magic, the supreme court would look a lot different and be serving women lunch on trays while they sunbathed.”
“Nice,” he said. “Maybe that’s why there’s a damper on magic around here.”
“A spell so that you can’t use magic.”
“You mean magic is here and someone is stopping us from knowing about it?”
“The people who are playing you are stopping you from doing almost everything, including having the right to do whatever you want to do with your OWN body.”
“I don’t think I can talk about this right now,” she said, closing her eyes.
“Another school shooting. Going for three hundred mass shootings before the end of June?”
“Everyone is shooting missiles into the ocean. Men just love killing everyone. Not one single regular person has ever started a war. And none of the morons who do start them go to battle.”
“Let’s talk about something else,” he said. “Jinx is single again.”
“Why? What happened?”
“He didn’t say.”
“We have to respect his privacy.”
“He said you put a bunch of bird houses in your yard.”
“I did, but the birds don’t seem to like them.”
“Why would you put birdhouses in the trees when you know that we’re all at your house. most of the time?”
“Good point,” she sighed. “I just thought they were cute and didn’t think it through.”
“You’re not going to stop mass shootings. You know that, right?”
“Yes. I do.”
“Someone just said that the republicans won’t get reelected if they work for gun control and their jobs are more important than the lives of kids. They won’t do it, no matter how many kids die.”
“I know that.”
“What do you know about snails?” he asked, licking his back foot.
“Nothing at all. Why?”
He shrugged. “Just wondering.”
“What do you know about them?” she asked.
“Why the sudden interest in snails?”
“I saw one the other day. I don’t know how they can stand to be what they are. They can’t run, jump, or fly and it takes them forever to get anywhere. What’s the point?”
“I have no idea what the point is about anything.”
“So you’ve given up?”
“Given up what? Doing the same thing over and over?”
“Nothing is ever going to change. Not as long as men have all the power. Not as long as there are republicans.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. Eat ice cream, play and read, until I die.”
“Will that be soon?”
“No one knows when they will die.”
“You can have one of my lives, if you like.”
“What?” she said, leaning forward.
“I have nine, so you can have one.”
She grabbed him and started kissing him all over his face.
“Ack!” he said, pulling away from her. “What’s that all about?” he asked, licking his shoulder, frantically.
“That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”
“No it’s not,” she said, putting food down for Jinx.
“Why do you get so upset about things that don’t actually impact your life? I don’t worry about the lives of dogs, or lions.”
“What’s happening is wrong.”
“That’s it? That’s why you’ve been fighting for years? Because it’s wrong?”
“They have veggie hotdogs at Portillo’s. Delicious. Poppy seed bun, so warm. So good.”
“Sorry. It’s the best I could do.”
“Kind of pathetic.”
“I’m only going to say this once more, but the man on tv just said, that the republicans will NOT vote for any gun control legislation. They don’t care who dies. They will not do it because the people they represent will no longer vote for them and their jobs are more important than the lives of children. Well, children who are alive. They only care about cells inside a woman, not actual living children.”
“I heard that too.”
“What’s wrong with those people?”
“Where should I start?”
“At the beginning.”
“I’m going home. Let me give you kisses and hugs.”
He leaned toward her. “Make it quick.”
“Oh, don’t be a silly goose.”
“Just a saying.”
“We’re all coming over tonight. Do you have any movies with cats or fish in them?”
“I mean real fish.”
“How about cats?”
“Good. We can make it a movie night.”
“A cat movie night,” she snickered. “I love it. See you then.”
“Be careful crossing the street and watch out for republicans and people with guns, although they might be the same thing. Republicans with guns.”
“I will,” she said, grabbing her tote bag. “See you tonight.”