“I heard there’s a flower shortage,” said the cat.
“I guess. Some of the shops are very low on flowers.”
“You have flowers, right? We need bees.”
“Yes. There’s a nice greenhouse not far from here and they have beautiful flowers. The other places, not so much.”
“I also heard that some eating establishments can’t open because people are making more money on unemployment than they were working, so they don’t want to go back to work.”
“I heard that as well and I watched a program, well the first episode, on nature and color. Some insects and birds can see in ultraviolet.”
“We can all do a lot of things you can’t do. The most pathetic species on the planet is yours. You can’t fly, jump, run fast, catch things, clean up after yourselves, hear, see…”
“I get it.”
“I’m not sure you do,” he said.
“You guys get hurt all the time, you fall down…”
“I tried doing a puzzle last night, but…”
“Seriously?” said the cat, in amazement “You actually tried to do a puzzle with twenty cats around you?”
“It was stupid. I know that.” she sighed.
“How many pieces were on the floor?”
“Most of them.”
“How many cat’s were on top of the puzzle or in the box?”
“Do you feel bad that none of you can live without things? I mean no one else has to work, or clean, or do laundry, shop for food, live with so much stuff? Every other living thing is free. No one owns a chair. Besides you, of course. Don’t you wonder about yourselves? Always working, working, working, buying stuff? If any of us want to move, we don’t even have to pack.”
“I noticed you like the soft chair in my living room,” she said.
“Well, it’s your chair. If it’s there, I’ll lay on it but I wouldn’t want one of my own.”
“We’re weak and need constant care and attention,” she agreed. “And the way we eat, well…”
“You mean because most of you are cannibals?”
“That too, but I was thinking about our poor diet in general. I don’t want to think about eating animals.”
“And what’s with all those years you spend in school? You could be playing, or laying on a beach.”
“Yeah, like that would ever work,” she said, putting his favorite treats down in front of him. “What would we do without books?”
“Don’t you understand how screwed up your way of life is? You work and then die. what’s the point? In a few years, no one will know you were even here. People remember their cats longer than they remember each other.”
“No one knows what the point is,” she said.”
“That’s because there isn’t one.”
“Well we can’t all lay around, nap, chase mice and do whatever else you do.”
“I’m not sure.”
“You can barley climb a tree. You don’t even have claws. Compared to most of us, you’re all as weak as newborn kittens.”
“If I sat on you, you would die.”
“I can’t believe you even said that,” he said, backing up.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
He flicked his tail back and forth. “You don’t tell those you love that you would sit on them and crush them to death. How much do you weight, anyway?”
“I said I was sorry.”
“You think because you can kill everything that makes you a big deal but al it really makes you are bullies and thoughtless…”
“We haven’t had rain in a long time,” she sighed, cleaning up the empty plates.
“Make me smile,” she said. “Please.”
The cat sighed and rolled onto his back. She grinned. He flipped over and said, “Don’t tell me I’ve never done anything nice for you.”
“I promise I won’t,” she said, burying her nose in his neck. “Ever.”
“That’s another thing. You humans are so needy.”
“Don’t care,” she said, kissing his ears. “Not at all.”