Art and the philosophy of life

How they met…

person wears red mask

“Nice mask,” she said, waking around him in a tight circle. “Good costume.”


“I like it.  Just scary enough with the beak and the steampunk eyes.  It’s cool.  Excellent artistry.”

“Cool?”  he repeated.

“If you’re waiting for the bus, it doesn’t stop here.  It stops at the corner.”

“I’m not waiting for the bus.”




“I don’t think so.”

“You’re not much of a conversationalist,” she said.

“I will be.  I’m almost finished downloading your entire language, as well as your customs, and dogma.”

“Wow.  Won’t that take a long time?”

“It’s the slang that takes time.”

She nodded.  “One can only imagine.”

“Imagining and imagination are…good things,” he said.

“Without imagination, we’d be like cardboard.”

He thought about what she said and then held up his hand and said, “Ah, a metaphor.”

“Where are you from?  You’re acting kind of weird.”

“I am?”

“Yes, you are.”

“That’s a damn shame Hoss.”

She stared at him.

“What?” he said.

“Try again.”

“That’s a damn shame…binki?”



“Absolutely not.”

“Can we move on?” he sighed.

“To what?”

“Anything but this.”

“Are you human?”

“Why do you ask?”

“What’s Deadpool?”

“Stagnant water.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“Now what?”

“Are you going to tell me what you are?”


“Okay, then bye.”

“Buy what?”

“Bye means I’m leaving.”

“I thought it meant to purchase something.”

“That’s a different bye.  There’s also another by, which only has two letters, and means something entirely different than the other two, which have three letters.”

“Where are you going?”

“Away from you, bird…thing.”

“Bird thing?”

“Does your mask fit your entire face?”


“You have a beak?”


“Do you have feathers?”

“In some places.”

“Why are you here?”


“Trees?” she said, surprised.

“Yes. We want your trees. Ours are all gone and we have no place to roost.”

“Problematic I suppose.”

“You have no idea.”

“How far away is your planet?”

“Far enough, that’s why we want to come here to live.”

“Seriously?  You’ll have to pay taxes you know.”

“With what?”


“If you don’t let us come here, we’ll come anyway and peck all of you to death.”

“Do you know what guns are?”

“Squirt or cap?”



“We could kill all of you in two seconds.”

“I don’t think so, mama.”

She burst out laughing.  “Mama?”

“This whole language thing is harder than I thought it would be.”

“We’re all mad here,” she giggled.

“What are you angry about?”

“Everything, but that’s not the kind of mad I was talking about.”

“Why do all of your words mean more than one thing?”

“To confuse those of you who aren’t from here, I guess.  Otherwise it’s just to be mean.”

“I see.”

“Really?” she asked.


“Don’t feel bad.  I don’t get it either.”

“Are you still leaving?”


“Can I come with you?” he asked, moving closer to her.

“No.  You’re the reason I’m leaving.”


“Because you’re not being honest with me.”

“I am.”

“You won’t show me your face.”

He paused, looked straight ahead, then said,  “It’s against my religion.”

“No, it’s not.”

“How do you know?” he asked.

“When are the other bird things arriving?”

“Saturday at noon.”


“I have no idea.  They sent me ahead to look at your trees.”

“What do you think of them?”


“I like them too,” she said, nodding.   “But you’ll all die, if you come here.  Or worse, they’ll capture you and experiment on you.  So, unless you have some kind of magical ability that I don’t know about, you should probably look for trees somewhere else.”

“What kind of abilities?”

“Laser eyes, or ray guns, really loud voices.”

“That’s it?”

“I’m just guessing,” she said.

“I think you and I have a lot in common,” he said.

“Like what?”

“Trees and neither one of us likes words that mean more than one thing.”

“That’s not nearly enough to make a lasting relationship.”

“Why not?”

“What’s your favorite food?” she asked.

“Sunflower seeds,” he said immediately.

“I like those too.”


“How do you know about sunflower seeds?” she asked.

“I spent the morning in the park and a female, who was feeding birds and squirrels, gave some to me.”

“Will you show me your face?”


“Why not?”

“It will scare you?”

“Why?  Isn’t there any skin on it?”

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“You won’t think I’m pretty.”

She smiled.  “How do you know what I’ll think?”

“It’s what I’ve been told.”

“Who said it?”

He looked down.

“They could be wrong, you know.”

He grunted.

“Does everyone wear a mask, where you’re from?”

He nodded.  “Otherwise we can’t breath.  When the trees went away they took the air with them.”

“So,” she said.  “You have nowhere to sit and nothing to breath.  There’s a song like that but the words are, Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.”

“Nice analogy.”

She smiled.  “Thanks.  Do you have language?”

“Everything has language, but we don’t use words as much as tweets, peeps, chirps and whistles.  Body language too, naturally.”

“You look as if you’re body is human.”


“I’m curious,” she said.

“Don’t be.”

“Why not?”

“Don’t be, that’s all.”

“Can you fly?”

“It depends,” he said.

“On what?”

“On whether or not something is chasing me.”

“Aren’t you one of the tough ones?”

“To eat?”

“No, to fight, silly.”

“I could kill everyone in this city, before they knew what was happening.”


“Yes.  I’m fast.”

“So speed is your weapon?”

“One of them.”

“Do you have a girl bird friend?”

“It doesn’t work that way.”

“How does it work?”

“Our nesting sites are almost all gone.  No trees, remember.”

“So you’re dying out?  Dying has a couple of meanings and different spellings too, FYI.”

“It’s more than likely we will all be gone in a hundred thousand years, or so.”


“Yes,” he said.  “Why?”

“I don’t think our species has nearly that long.”

“Do you want to go to my place?” he asked.

“Do you have a place?”

“I do not. But I think it’s something I’m supposed to ask.”

“You’re only supposed to ask, if you have a place,” she said.

“There’s a nice oak in the park.  I’ve been staying there for a couple of days.  We could go there.  It has strong limbs.”

“Maybe we should just go for a walk.”

“Okay,” he said.

“Will you show me your face.”

“Only if you show me yours.”

“Ah, good one,” she chuckled.




Comments on: "How they met…" (4)

  1. Good one! 🙃

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