The Conversation…

Cat, Relax, Chill Out, Camacho

“I think the cats had fun at the party, don’t you?”

“Yes,” he said.  “Free food, soft beds, nip, and treats.  What’s not to like?”

“Someone said that if we had worn masks during previous flu seasons, 130,000 people each year would be alive.   Instead of dead, I mean.  Well, the one’s from a looooong time ago would be dead by now, of course.  I mean they would have died from something else and not the flu.”

“I know what you mean,” he said.

“I never thought of wearing a mask during flu season. Apparently no one else did either.  Actually, I never thought of wearing a mask for any reason.”

“Well now two birds, one mask.”

“I guess,” she said.

“I’m currently reading three books.  Two on Paris and one on Jean-Michel Basquiat.  I like all of them.   In 1983 a black graffiti artist, Michael Stewart, was beaten to death by cops, for his art.  How hateful is that?  What’s WRONG with people?”

“You ask that question almost every time I see you and you know the answer. You are a defective species who needs to become extinct asap.”

“You’re right,” she sighed.

“And, you get all gloomy because of politics and there’s nothing you an do about anything.  You might as well just chill out and relax.”

“Easy for you to say.”

“You’re like broken toys, and nuttier than five pound fruit cakes with those ugly green bits in them,” he said.

“A lot of people have run out of money, while the government takes time off and refuses to care about their hunger or shelter. The republican’s are trying to blame the democrats for not passing their bill but the democrats are holding out for MORE money to give people, so THEY CAN ACTUALLY SURVIVE.  Selfish republicans don’t want to give them anything and THEY SHOULD NOT HOLD THE POWER OVER THE LIVES OF OTHERS IN THAT WAY.   Those morons have more than they need and don’t care about those who have nothing.  And that stupid rent deferment plan is a horrible thing.  Poor people, WHO HAVE BEEN KEPT POOR ON PURPOSE, will have to pay the back rent, which will be a huge amount of money, all at once.  Why do the RICH GOVERNMENT PEOPLE THINK PEOPLE WHO CAN’T PAY THEIR MONTHLY RENT, WILL BE ABLE TO PAY BACK, BACK RENT?  WHERE WILL THEY GET THE MONEY TO PAY ALL THAT BACK RENT?  ARE JOBS GOING TO MAGICALLY APPEAR AND PAY THEM A SMALL FORTUNE?”

“You’re talking really loud.”

“So?”

“It hurts my ears,” he said, shaking his head.

She rubbed his ears and kissed him.  “Sorry.”

“Winter’s coming and if they throw people out they’ll die.”

“And starve,” she agreed.

“While your government goes on vacation, or sits in front of a fire somewhere, eating like the greedy hateful things they are.”

“And they have insurance,” she said.

“That too.”

“Tell me something happy.”

“I like your shoes,” he said.

‘My shoes?”

“I saw it on TV.”

“I meant, tell me something good that’s happening in the world,” she said.

“No one has reported a comet headed toward the earth in the next few days.”

“Okay, never mind,” she sighed, shaking her head.

“Well, what do you want me to say?  You’re all dropping like flies, you’re sending kids to school, plan parties for the weekend, ignoring the fact that there’s a deadly virus out there, and half of you can’t think far enough ahead to even wear a mask while some of you are hoping the south will rise again.”

“You’re right.”

“I’m always right.  I’m a cat and we’re never wrong.  You’re just miserable and stressed because of the election and the fact that winter’s on it’s way.  Then you’ll be longing for summer, knowing that winter stays for a long, long, long, long time.  You’ll be worried about all the animals who live outside and even though you’re used to staying in a lot more, you’ll want the days to be longer and sunny and there won’t be any Christmas this year.”

“I’m tired.”

“I know.  Stop complaining, sit up straight, and give me some treats.  That will make you feel better.  Feeding me always makes you feel better.  You have to stop concentrating on what’s wrong.  Nothing you do, right now, is going to stop whatever’s wrong from being wrong.”

“You’re right.”

“Again, for the thousandth time, I’M ALWAYS RIGHT!”

“I’m going to knit blankets for all of you.”

“Why?”

“To keep you warm during the winter.”

“Thanks anyway,” he said.  “They’ll get wet and cats will get sick, so no.”

“Okay.  I’ll get houses for everyone.”

“That would be better.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” she said.  “There’s still room at my place and on the back porch. I have a lot of houses there.”

“I’ll tell the others.”

“Hummingbirds are so tiny,” she said.

“I know.  Hardly worth catching.”

“Oh, great,” she said.  “How do I get THAT picture out of my head?”

“Praying Manits’s love them.”

“Gak!”

“Think of Keanu Reeves.  That will help.”

“Oh, good idea,” she said.   “Thanks.”

“I’m going to take a nap now, so you can go.”

“Wow, I’m glad I have your permission to leave.”

“No problem,” he said.

“You just don’t get sarcasm, do you,” she said.

“I get it.  I simply choose to ignore it.”

“I’ll see you later.”

“I’m sure you will.”

She kissed him and petted him, while he tried not to bite her.  She came away with a few scratches but, as always, it was worth it.

 

 

 

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