The Conversation…

Cat, Relax, Chill Out, Camacho

“I haven’t seen you for a few days.  I thought you moved away.”

“If I was going to move, I would tell you and I would certainly say goodbye. Surely you know that.”

“I wasn’t being literal,” he said.  “How are things going?”

“Not well.  The so called president is intentionally driving a bigger wedge between the country.”


“And the virus is stopping everyone from living their lives in a way that makes them feel…the old normal.”

“The old normal will never come back.  No matter what happens, it will be a new normal.  And without music in the background, life is just, boring.  That’s the only reason people go to the movies.  The music makes them understand how they’re supposed to feel, otherwise men don’t get it at all.  And women don’t know what to do, because they know that men don’t get what’s going on.”

“That wasn’t helpful,” she said.

“I’m just saying that you need music.”

“It’s not possible because everyone would be playing different music at the same time, so it would be silly.”

“Up to you.”

“Life shouldn’t be this hard.”

“Why not?”

“What do you mean, why not?  Because I want it to be nicer, more peaceful and fair. Less disease filled and completely out of control.”

“Then you came to the wrong planet,” said the cat.

“I know that NOW!” she said.

“Can’t you go back to where you were before you got here?”

“HOW would I ever be able to DO THAT?”

“I guess you’d have to die.”

“You don’t know where that would take me, if ANYWHERE.  We certainly can’t know if it would take me back to where I was before I came here.  And why would I want to go back there?  I’d probably be stupid enough to come back here and start over again.”

“I don’t know why you’re yelling at me.  I didn’t tell you to come here.”

“You’re right,” she said.  “I’m sorry.  Please forgive me.”

“I’m just trying to help.”

“I know.”

“You’re whole species is a bloody nightmare.”

“It is.  We’ve talked about this a million times.”

“There’s something really wrong with all of you. You’re never satisfied and you’re always killing everything.”

“I know.”

“You know, but what do you actually do to change the way things are.”

“There’s a lot I could say to that, but it won’t matter.”

“None of you knows what you want.  You all think you want different things because you never had a chance to think about anything.  The second you’re born, stuff is put into your heads and covers your true selves with the ideas and beliefs of everyone around you, so you’re all crazy because you never gets to think for yourselves, or figure out what you want to believe.  So you’re conflicted and always trying to make the horrible feelings you have inside go away, with addiction and a never ending search for something that doesn’t exist.”

She stared at him.


“How do you know that?”

“I told you before.  I pay attention.  I think you should bake.”

“Bake?  Bake what?”

“It doesn’t matter.  It will take your mind off of things.”

“Only for a minute and then I’ll eat everything I baked and be miserable about that.”

“You don’t have to bake sweets,” he said.

“Of course I do?”

“You could bake bread.”

“I love bread.”

“I know.”

“Bread has to rise and it takes too long.  And there would be dishes to clean up and just thinking about that makes me want to lay on the sidewalk again.”

“Do you ever listen to yourself talk?”

“No.  I’m boring.”

“More like you’re crazy.”

“We’re ALL crazy.”

“You’re not eating enough chocolate.”

“I ate an entire bag of mini chips before I came here.”

“I don’t think it was enough.”

“Trust me.  It was.”

“You should know,” he said.

“I’m just…mmm…edgy, or…”

“You’re frustrated that nothing ever really gets done and all you ever hear is talk and then the issues disappear and nothing changes?”


“Like I said.  You never should have come to earth.”

“But I’M here, so let’s start with that.”

“Believe me when I say that I know you’re here,” he sighed.  “Life has never been any different, you just have bigger guns and more people to kill.  It took women 72 years to get the vote.  The men voted immediately.  How can you compete with men who have all the power and keep giving themselves MORE power, while completely controlling what everyone else gets?”

“Again, you’re not helping.”

“I didn’t know I was supposed to help.  I thought I was supposed to tell you the truth.”

“I don’t like the truth.”

“Another reason you’re all crazy.  And, by the way,  you MAKE the truth.  If you were all peaceful, then the truth would be about peace, instead of suffering, control over others  and death, inequality and hate.  Everything that exists, exists because you want it to, and ALLOW it to exist.”

“How are the kittens?”

“No longer kittens.”

She nodded.  “What am I going to do?”

“About what?”


“No idea,” he said, licking his claws.

“How do you do that without cutting your tongue?”

He just stared at her.  “You’re kidding, right?”

“I guess,” she said.  “I want blueberry pie and ice cream.”

“Will that help?”

“Only while I’m eating it.”

“That’s what I though, since it’s just a distraction, or a bandaid for what the real problems are.”

“There are so many details in life.”


“You have to measure things, when you bake.”

“That’s true.”

“Some people transfer that to their lives and want to control every detail.  Since I’m not like that, I don’t like to bake.  I like to just do things, not read instructions.”

“How’s that working for you?”

“Good actually, as long as I’m not making a cake, or putting something together from IKEA.”

“I get that.”

“I don’t have anything from IKEA, but I’ve seen people try and do it.  Everything comes flat and then it’s suddenly three dimensional and there are always parts left over.  Well, not always, but sometimes.”

“You’re all over the place today.”

“I haven’t been out in a long time.  I mean OUT with people, or shopping for things, or to the movies, and the new James Bond has been ready to come out for months.  And, I’ve read a million books, but…”

“I get it.”

“Okay.  I’m going to lay on the sidewalk. for awhile.”

“Lay on the stair.”

“It’s too narrow.”

“I told you before, you can’t lay on the sidewalk.”

“I know you tell me that I can’t lay on the sidewalk but I don’t understand why not.”

“You should buy a balloon.”


“They’re supposed to make people happy.”

“They don’t.  Not really.  Maybe if you’re a kid, but they aren’t good for the environment.”

“None of YOU are good for the environment.”

“I know.  I think I’ll go home.”

“Stop and get some ice cream.”

“I’ll have to gobble it down too fast, since it’s so hot.”

“Whatever,” he said.

“I love you, but you already know that.”

“See you tonight.”

“Oh, you’re coming over?” she said happily.  “Is Lynx coming with?”


“Excellent.  See you then.”

“You can kiss me once.”

“Thank you,” she said, kissing him on his face.  “You know,” she whispered, “I didn’t ask for that kiss, you offered it.”

“Just leave,” he hissed.

She quickly stole another kiss again and skipped away.

“She’s right, you know,” said Lynx.  “She didn’t ask for the kiss.”

“Don’t start.  I was just being nice.”

“It’s okay to love her, you know.”

“Oh, please,” hissed the cat.

“I know you do,” said Lynx.

“I told her we’d stop by later.”

“Okay.  I’d like that.”

“Any problems with the new cat by the park?”

“No,” said Lynx.  “I talked to him.  He’s not bad.  He’s going to stop by and say hello tomorrow.”

“Good.  Now let’s take a nap, shall we?”

Lynx curled up on the landing.  “See you in a bit.”

“In a bit.”




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7 Responses to The Conversation…

  1. 🙂 you know its bad when neither chocolate or blueberry pie and icecream sounds like it will make you feel better.

  2. Resa says:

    It’s a wise cat
    Now trump will have the republican convention in Florida. I hear some of the elected reps won’t be going. I don’t blame them.
    He’s like Jim Jones… JUST DRINK THE KOOL-AID!!

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