Cat, Relax, Chill Out, Camacho

“Have you heard about what’s going on in the outside world?”

“Of course.”

“What do you think?”

“I think it’s great for all the animals, fish and birds.  I like birds.  I like fish too, but I really like birds.”

“I get that,” she sighed.  “But what about the people?”

“What about them?”

“Do you hope they come back soon?”



“I think they should have to stay in until the sun eats the planet.”

“Wow.  That’s not very nice.”

“Oh, and you guys are such a joy, right?”


“I think it’s nice that animals can roam through the city and do as they please.  Besides, the air is cleaner, everything is better, now that you’re not all over the place, poisoning everything.  Maybe the shells on bird eggs will get strong again and they’ll be more birds.”

“What about you?  You have people who take care of you, don’t you want them to be able to go out to buy you cat food?” she asked.

“You mean my servants?”

“Yes.  Your servants.”

“They’re good at what they do.”

“I know but you need people to do your bidding.”


“You don’t get it, do you,” she groaned.

“Look.  if you want to keep talking, bring me a nice salmon.”

“A salmon?”

“It’s a fish.  Look it up.”

“I know what a salmon is.”

“Then why did you say it like that?”

“I’m going to talk to the cats on the street.  You’re too difficult.”




“You just are.”

“Is that like what you say to kids, when they ask a question.  You all answer them by saying, because.”

“Yes.  It’s just like that.”

“What’s your name?”

“Amy, what’s yours?”

“Fido.  He wanted a dog and she wanted a cat, so she got me and he got to name me after a dog.”

“They compromised.”

“No, she just got tired of arguing with him.  She calls me Jelly Baby.  Not that it matters.  I don’t answer to either one of them.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to spoil them.  If I go to them when they call me, they’ll call me all the time.  I like being in control.  As it is, I let them sleep on the bed.”

“The bed?  You mean their bed?”

“No, I mean my bed.  I let them sleep on my bed.  The one in the other room.”

“The bed on the floor, over there, is your bed.”

“Nice try,” snickered the cat.  “Like I’d ever sleep on that thing.”

“It’s a very nice bed.”

“For you, maybe.”

“You have an attitude problem.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“I’m going to nap for awhile.  If you’re here when I wake up, we can talk some more.”

“I don’t think so,” she said picking up her bag and heading toward the door.

“Humans are so much fun to play with,” chuckled the cat, as he curled up into into a fuzzy ball.







This entry was posted in The Conversation and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Fido…

  1. Kiki says:

    That’s why I prefer dogs…. 😉

    But – apart from that – a really great story, painting the cats’ attitude to a T…..

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