I was thinking about research, today. And how ridiculous some of it is. How destructive and how much money people are paid to do it. I was specifically thinking about an old friend, who happened to be a middle child.
I’m an only child. My mom was an only too. I can’t speak for any other only children, since I’m just me and everyone’s experiences in life are one of a kind. Personally, I think it’s insane to talk about only children, or middle children, or any children, as if they are all the same, based on their birth order, or lack of it.
Researchers often get grant money for doing “research” and they also make money writing/selling books that tell everyone what kids are like, according to their birth order. That researched is based on limited and biased research. That kind of research spawns stereotypes, false expectations and erases individuality. The only real facts are: if there is only one child, then that child, is an only child. If there are three kids, there’s bound to be one in the middle, as well as a first and third one. Those are facts. Everything else is conjecture.
I’ve known a lot of middle children in my life. None of them fit the profile in a lot of the research. Maybe no one told them how to act, as a middle, I don’t know. No one ever told me how to be an only. If I said that to the author/researcher, he/she might say that there are always exceptions to every rule, or he/she may even describe the middle one in some way that would make the person fit his/her theory/hypothesis. That’s the way things like that work sometimes.
What I don’t like, is that the things people write can influence the way other people TREAT and SEE others. People may expect middle children to act differently, according to what they may have read. People have done that with me for my whole life. If they find out that I’m an only child, they immediately expect me to be spoiled and selfish. They actually say those things to me. “Oh, I bet you were spoiled rotten.” They are “surprised,” when they find out that I was never spoiled or selfish. Middle children are not always fighting for attention squished between the brilliant number ONE and the BABY, number three. It may happen some times, but it’s not always the norm. And “sometimes” is meaningless, since everything can happen sometimes. That kind of thinking is narrow minded, prejudiced and dangerous.
I wish someone would write a book on researchers and see what they can come up with about them. DOES ANYONE EVER QUESTION THE BACKGROUND OR MENTAL STATE OF ANY AUTHORITY FIGURE/AUTHOR? They can be completely nuts (Sigmund), biased and insanely prejudice (sexist, racist, etc.) but they can still get grant money and be published. Sadly, they are allowed to teach as well.
Anyway, everyone is a product of his/her innate personality and environment. Nurture vs. nature. One isn’t really more important than the other, since they merge into one. The environment in which one is being nurtured matters and vise versa. We are made up of both. Our environment can be horrific or lovely. How we react to either one, is due to our innate personality. We are who we are (as I’ve mentioned before, Piaget’s startled baby, crying baby, fearful baby, happy baby, etc.) We come here WITH a personality in tact. Where we come from shapes us but our reaction to everything comes from who we are, at least that’s true for me.
Here’s my question: WHY DO WE HAVE TO DEFINE EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE AND THEN BELIEVE THAT WHAT WE DEFINE IS REAL, BASED ON RESEARCH THAT DOESN’T INCLUDE EVERYONE AND IS FAULTY TO BEGIN WITH? If you don’t include EVERYONE, you can only write about those in the sample, which doesn’t actually MEAN anything, except to those in the sample. The sample will always be very narrow because people are very DIFFERENT from each other. Also, people lie. One can never forget that. Fudged and fake research is not unknown. Money is usually involved in everything.
Samples are just that. Did you ever sample ice cream at 31 Flavors and think it tasted good, but when you got the cone, you didn’t like it? That’s because a sample can be FALSE OR UNREALISTIC and so can the researchers, who have their own psychological problems and see things from THEIR own personal point of view. It’s the same with jury duty. They question the potential jurors and if you’re this or that, your dismissed, until the court gets what they think is an unbiased mob. That’s a joke. Everyone is biased. Some more than others but some also show it more than others as well. Same with research, quite often the “sample,” is hand picked.
Anyway, Particle-Wave duality. If you look at something…you change it. The Gaze of the researcher changes the thing he/she’s is LOOKING at. It can’t be helped. But that’s never acknowledged or written about when publishing research. Yet, Particle-Wave Duality proves that it’s true…or as true as anything can be in this place.
Everything we believe, came from an individual’s POINT OF VIEW and may not be valid or considered to be TRUE. Everything is biased. EVERYTHING. All research is biased and affected by the researcher. Humans affect the research and the outcome. Always. THE PEOPLE IN A SMAPLE ARE AFFECTED BY THE PERSON DOING THE RESEARCH AND BY THE RESEARCH ITSELF, SO THE SAMPLE IS TAINTED FROM THE VERY BEGINNING. Also, a lot of research that doesn’t work out is buried and never sees the light of day. Some of that can be important. Like when they gave, I think it was 8 Mexican women, the Pill and three or four of them died…but there was a fortune to be made from birth control, so they just forgot to tell everyone about the small sample and dead women and put it on the market anyway. Same with Thalidomide babies, born with missing limbs. The researchers knew what the drug did but gave it to women anyway. I wish I still had my research. They gave women a deadly drug, that researchers already knew was horrific in 1942. They did it Chicago AND TOLD THE WOMEN THEY WERE GIVING THEM VITAMINS. When bad things started happening all the offices with the research, including patient records, just happened to disappear, or conveniently BURN.
Notice that nothing happens to, or is given to men. There are no studies that hit the media about lots of men dying, or suffering, from anything the medical establishment did to them in any way at all. Ever. Prejudice, bias, sexism, and everything else.
People need to think about things like that when they read something. Too many people just believe what they read because of the lab coat the author has in his/her closet. Research is not based on facts and, by the way, facts change constantly. Flat earth, sun revolving around the earth, and a billion other things. NOTHING is real or true and believing that things are, can diminish the lives of everyone.
PEOPLE MAKE UP PROBLEMS, then write about them for money. It’s INSANE. Think about all the things that are considered problems, and have names, right now, that weren’t problems before. And no, it’s not as if they all existed and just weren’t recognized. Today, if you can name something you can sell medication for it and increase doctor visits. Drug companies can become wealthy on the things that researchers can name.
There are problems with kids not wanting to drive, go to the bathroom, and a million other things THAT NEVER EXISTED BEFORE. Some kids REFUSE TO GO TO SCHOOL. Years ago, DRUG COMPANIES were advertising tranquilizers for kindergarten students, to take away their anxiety. How sick is that? If they did it today, people would line up to buy it. People back then, were upset by the ads, so they were dropped. But think of the money to be made by addicting five year olds to drugs. Get them used to being afraid to live without them. Jackpot.
We are driving people INSANE. I over heard my granddaughter the other day. She was telling someone that when she was in high school, and someone would OD, kids would start crying, surrounded by grief counselors. Those hysterical kids didn’t even know the person who died. She said a lot of the kids loved the attention and getting out of class She said it was stupid. That’s what we’re teaching our kids. We’re teaching them HOW NOT TO COPE WITH REAL LIFE. We’re teaching them how to manipulate others and we’re teaching them that adults are stupid. Worse, we’re teaching them that there are problems where there aren’t any.
Past generations just got on with things, no grief counselors, no anything. We’re fine, thank you very much. Even my granddaughter, who was actually there and knew the kids who were dying, thought the adults were insane.
I don’t doubt that someone was paid to do research, saying that teenagers should get grief counseling. And no, I’m not saying that some kids don’t need help when things happen. I’m not talking about mass shootings and horrific death counts. That’s a shock on an entirely different level where everyone was in danger. I’m saying that adults have a lot of problems and pass those problems on to kids who didn’t have problems BEFORE the adults got INVOLVED.
And just how crazy is it, to have cops with dogs, do spot locker checks, car checks, make kids empty their pockets, hand over their phones and backpacks, WITHOUT JUST CAUSE, WHICH SHOULD BE FUCKING ILLEGAL. Adults don’t do ANYTHING ABOUT THAT… but they bring in grief counselors when someone dies, someone most of the kids didn’t even know? It’s the ADULTS WHO ARE MAKING KIDS NUTS. Get the message that sends out? Get kids used to being searched when they’re young so they think it’s NORMAL. Adults are doing things for themselves, that’s why they aren’t DEFENDING the kids’ right to privacy and not being searched without cause.
Anyway, don’t believe everything you read and it doesn’t matter if your an only child, a middle child, or the tenth kid. If someone tells you you’re something because of what they read or heard, just walk away laughing. Don’t argue with people who are that far gone. And remember, researchers, need something to write about so they can keep their jobs. They’ll write about anything and make problems where none exist. Kids aren’t the problem, adults are. Adults TURN things into problems.
One more thing…in spite of what’s written, it’s human nature to believe what fits in with who you are. If you like what the research proves, even if it’s not true, you’ll likely believe it, since it supports what you already think. If you don’t like what the research has to say, you won’t believe it and you’ll dismiss it. I’m doing that right now. But I think what I’ve said proves that I have valid points, when it comes to some types of research.
Just because someone says something is a fact, doesn’t make whatever it is, a fact. Just because a researcher says something is true doesn’t mean he/she isn’t lying.
And yes, of course, we need research and yes, some research is important and life saving. That’s not what this is about.
But research that tells people who they are based on the order of their birth (or race, gender, sexuality, or anything else) is destructive because it can have consequences that affect how children/people are seen and treated and that’s WRONG.
I doubt that the birth order researchers, even thought about the ramifications their work might have on children. That’s not good research, It’s destructive and people can be hurt by it.
I want to research the researchers. We need to do more of that. A lot more. Then I want to write a book on what researchers are like and what their profiles are. Maybe I’ll even tie it into their birth order. I’m absolutely positive that I can find things in their backgrounds that will become a new disorder. For example:
Raised with three brothers
Roger Mince was destined to wear glasses
and go into research. Having three brothers
automatically made him less.
His brothers were bigger
and better looking than he was.
Therefore he had an
that drove him to sit in a small
white room and do research
using a number 2 pencil
and a small laptop.
If Roger Mince had only had a sister
(MISSING SISTER SYNDROME)
who could have given him more love
perhaps he would have
become a skydiver.
But alas, the THREE BROTHER SYNDROME
had destroyed all hope of that.
To make matters worse Roger Mince
did not have a cat.
(THE CATLESS SYNDROME)
There was a family dog named Trigger.
But even the dog was stronger
and better looking than Roger himself.
It is unknown whether Roger Mince would have been
if he had been born an only child
and had no one to compare himself to.
He’s doing research on that
right this moment.
Roger Mince is heavily medicated
for his own good.
He will eat only raw carrots and prunes
due to his brothers insistence
that he eat like a real man.
(REAL MAN SYNDROME)
Roger Mince does not date.
Women run from him
and his SYNDROMES.
He is the author
of 200 BEST SELLING books
on healthy living
and how to enjoy life.
He has had the good fortune
to patent 400 drugs
and teach at top
His main focus
He has won many awards
and is considered top
in his field.
He refuses to speak to others in person
and teaches through a television screen.
He has pulled out his eyelashes
and the hair on his head
but insists that he’s well adjusted
and his research is true.