The Librarian…

“Are you the librarian?” he asked, standing in front of the huge, circular desk with a sign saying, LIBRARIAN.”

“Why gave it away?” she said, stacking books.”

“You’re behind the big desk and you’re wearing glasses. I admit, I didn’t think librarians were hot but you… ”

She did not jump over the desk and punch him.  Instead she took a deep breath and picked up the thickest book in front of her and held it with both hands.  “Do you think all librarians wear glasses?”

The man working next to her, gently removed the book from her hands and directed the man to the other side of the desk.  “Can I help you with something?” he asked.

She closed her eyes, counted to ten, took several more deep breaths, then she jumped over the desk and knocked the guy to the ground.  She kicked him, as a crowd gathered around them.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he cried, his hands held in front of him as he curled up on the floor.  “What did I do?”

“Big baby,” she hissed, and threw several books on top of him.

There was a smattering of applause.

“I QUIT!,” she shouted, and  lightly kicked the guy one more time.  Then she bent down next to him and whispered in his ear, “If you even think about making any trouble over this, it will be the very last thing you EVER do, in your short life.  I’m a librarian.  No one screws around with librarians.”

She got up and stomped out of the gorgeous, high-ceilinged  room.  Her black biker boots pounding on the ancient wooden floor.  Once outside she started smiling.

“Ms. Bennet,” called someone behind her.  She turned and saw Alan Waters, running toward her.

“What do you want Alan?”

“That was fantastic,” he said.

“What do you want?”

“Everyone thinks you’re a hero.  The students want you to return.  Even the guy you…uh…talked to, said you should come back.  Besides, no one else knows how to run the library…so there is that, and a little roughhousing never hurt anyone, right?”

“I’ll be back tomorrow at eleven,” she said, getting on her Harley.  “You’ll just have to cope until then.”

“But…” he sputtered.

“Deal with it,” she said, roaring off.

“Okay,” said Alan, to no one in particular.  “I like your new tattoo,” he whispered, turning back to the building.  “But you don’t care.  You don’t even see me, do you,” he muttered, miserably.

“What a kick-ass librarian,” said one student to another, as they walked by.  “I’m definitely coming to the library more often.”

***

“You aren’t supposed to wear your leathers at work,” said Mr. Monday.

“They aren’t leathers, Lewis.  I’ve explained that to you a thousand times.  They are FAUX leather because I love animals and I don’t wear the SKIN of murdered beings on my BODY, so shut up and let me work.”

“Did anyone ever tell you that your a bitch?”

“That’s my middle name.  I thought you knew.”  Then she pulled off her fingerless gloves, jammed her helmet on a shelf under the desk and said, “NEXT.”

She refused several requests for autographs and helped a few students find books they were looking for.

“Do you have this book?” asked a man in the blue shirt.  He slid a white card toward her.  “I’ve been told it’s rather obscure but that you may have a copy.”

“Why do you want it?” she asked.

“I think that question is inappropriate,” he said.  “People do not have to explain the reason for wanting to see a book in a library.  Correct me if I’m wrong.”

“You’re wrong,” she said.  “Now please move out of the way, so I can help the next person in line.”

A crowed started gathering, hoping for another fight.

“I’m sorry,” he snarked.  “Do you own this library?”

“No.  I own all of the books INSIDE this library.”

“You don’t.”

“Why do you want this book?”

“Research project,” he said.

“Wrong answer.  Now please go away.”

The man moved to the person working at the other side of the desk and was told that if he wanted that book he would have to talk to Ms. Bennet.  He asked to talk to the person in charge and was told that he would have to speak to Ms. Bennet.

“I thought you left,” she said, to the very frustrated man in front of her.

“You could see me the whole time,” he said.  “I want the book.”

“Why?”

“Why do you care?”

“It can be a dangerous book, in the wrong hands.”

He held out his hands, so she could see them.

She growled.

“Is this like, books don’t hurt people, people do?” he asked.

“It’s exactly like that.”

“I’ll sign a blood oath that I won’t use it for anything but…”

“You can’t have it.  But, here’s the silver lining,” she said, smiling.  “I’ll read your cards.”

“Why?”

“Yes or know?” she asked.

“If I say yes, will you give me the book?”

“No.”

“Then why would I…”

“Yes or no?”

“No.”

“NEXT,” she said.

“Will you sign my arm?” asked a brown-eyed woman, laying her arm on the counter.

She started laughing.  Then she climbed onto the desk and said, “What IS IT with you women?  You want MY autograph because I beat up a boy?”

“YES!” yelled every female in the room.

“Why don’t you beat them up yourself?”

“Uh, Ms. Bennet, I don’t think you should encourage the students to hit each other.”

“Lewis just said I shouldn’t tell you to beat up the boys!”

“Booooooo.”

“No one seems to tell the MALES to NOT BEAT UP THE FEMALES, do they?” she asked, her arms in the air.

“NOOOOOOOOO,” screamed the girls.

“Maybe,” she said, “If more females beat up the males who are raping them on campus, the MALES may think twice before attacking them.  Especially, since the school isn’t doing anything to protect women from men.”

Boys started backing toward the exit.  Girls took note and started following them.

“Ms. Bennet,” said Lewis.  “I must object to this kind of…thing.”

“Duly noted,” she said.

“Violence is unacceptable,” he said, more loudly.

“Tell that to the football team,” she snarled.  “Women!  Self defense class tomorrow, in the gym, six o’clock, after dinner.  Bring crowbars.”

A wild cheer went up from the crowd and she jumped to the floor.  “Libraries,” she said, happily.  “They truly are multi-purposed areas.”

“Ms. Bennet, I must insist…”

“I have to see that book.”

“You again?”

“Me again.  Don’t make me steal it.”

“Excuse me?”

“I have to have it, or at least see it.  If you don’t let me…I’ll come back and steal it.”

“Wow, you’re a really bad criminal.  Most bad guys don’t tell the person they plan on robbing, what they’re going to do.”

“You don’t understand,” he said.

“Let me tell you something, since you were kind enough to tell me about your plan to booknap one of our books.  There are things, watching over that book.  If you aren’t known to them, and you try to touch the book, well, I’m just saying.”

“What kind of things and why should I believe you?”

“Hey, do whatever you like,” she said, leaning on the desktop.  “Just be sure your affairs are in order before you break in.”

“I think what you told the girls to do, was the right thing,” he said.  Then he turned and started walking away.

TBC  (to be continued)

 

This entry was posted in Short Stories, the Librarian and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Librarian…

  1. now this is fabulous… did i miss part 2 or have you not posted it yet?

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