“I like the spikes on you head,” said Lexi. “It’s a good look for you guys. Kind of scary, and very in right now, especially among teenagers and those in their early twenties. They’re doing a lot of scaring and piercings EVERYWHERE, and when I say EVERYWHERE, I mean EVERYWHERE.”
“We’re going to kill you,” hissed the demon, menacingly.
“Really?” asked Lexi. “Why?”
“What?” asked the demon, trying to tilt his head on his very thick neck. “What do you mean, why?”
The dragons looked from one to the other.
“Why are you going to kill me? I didn’t do anything to you, so what’s the deal?”
“Killing’s what we do,” he said, taken back.
“Maybe you could do something else, like have pizza with us instead.”
The demons chatted among themselves for a few minutes and the dragons nudged her for more sugar cubes. She rubbed their gigantic noses and gave them each another box.
“No Pizza. We’re evil demons and it’s our job to kill you because you want to stop the orange one from becoming president in the future. Once he’s in office we will take over the world.”
“We think so.”
“What are you going to do with the world, once you take it over?”
The demons stared at her.
“I mean you must have some idea of what you’re going to do, right? You’re too big to live in our houses and you certainly can’t fit into our cars, so what will you do with the world? Do you think that someone smaller than you might be using you to get what they want, which might not have anything at all to do with what you want? I mean look at this place. What’s here for you? We have like three lava beds, so no bathing in luxury for you guys. What will you eat? Nothing big enough lives here, so you’ll never be satisfied. And look at the trees,” she said, pointing at them. They’re alive and tiny, compared to what you’re used to. Where will you stay? And how do you like THIS weather? Snow? You guys HATE snow.” She watched them deflate a bit.
“We really do hate the weather,” they said, bushing snow off of their shoulders. “Hate it.”
“Look, it’s up to you guys. You look smart and capable. I could probably take you out before you knew what was going on, but that’s NOT a threat, or the point,” she said, holding up her hands, watching them tense. “It’s just the truth.”
“You’re a puny human. We could break you in half with one hand,” they laughed.
“Do you want to die here or do you want to go home?” she asked gently. “Again…what will you do here?”
“I don’t like it here,” said one of the demons to the leader. “Maybe she’s right.”
That earned him a punch in the face. “You can hit me but its still the truth,” said the bleeding demon. “We’ve been set up.”
The dragons shoved her and begged for sugar cubes. She gave them more and kissed their faces when they bent to nuzzle her.
The demons sniffed the air, as Merlin walked up to her with fifteen boxes of pizza.
“Hungry?” she asked, happily.
They mumbled, groaned, scratched their heads and finally dropped their weapons. Then little by little, they inched forward. Lexi sat down in the snow and everyone followed suit. The dragons moved in and hovered behind her. “This is the best pizza,” she said to the demons, giving each one of them a box. “Enjoy it.” Then she opened a couple of boxes for the dragons and grabbed a slice out of Parker’s box.
The demons held up their pizza and nodded at her. “Good.”
“Told you,” she said, smiling. “I kind of nuked your port, so do you have a way get home?”
“No,” said the leader, shaking his head, as much as he could.
“You do want to go home, right?” she asked.
“I can get you there.”
“Okay,” said the leader, holding out his hand for a fist bump.
She laughed and bumped his enormous fist. “Friends?”
He stared at her for a minute and said, “Friends.”
The dragons pushed her again and she gave them the last of the sugar cubes. She rubbed their necks and kissed them over and over again, telling them that they were beautiful and that she loved them.
“I can get you home as well,” she said to the dragons, her voice thick with emotion. “If you’re ready to go.”
They nudged her an dropped a gigantic ruby at her feet. “Oh, no,” she said quickly. No need to pay. They nudged her again and she said, “Thank you.” Then she opened a tear in the sky, kissed them one last time, and watched them take off. She waved until they were out of sight and the opening disappeared.
“They’ll be happier there,” said the demon, patting her back, almost knocking her over.
“I know,” she sniffed, but…”
“You’ll miss them.”
“Maybe you can visit them,” he said. “We were bred to kill and hunt, you know. We were made to be violent.”
“I know,” she said, leaning into him. “Humans were bred for the same thing.”
He nodded. “They’re just smaller and break more easily.”
“Yes, it’s the gravity and their poor design.”
“Fragile,” he grunted.
She pulled his huge arm around her. “I don’t think we can stop the orange one from winning and destroying the country.”
“Well, I’m starting to get cold. I’m happy to have met you and your crew,” she said, looking at the guys all talking to each other and laughing.
“Same” he said, patting her again.
The demons nodded to her as one by one they walked through the tear in space and were gone.
Merlin smiled at her. “It’s hard letting them go but you know they don’t belong here. You get attached too easily. However, I suppose in your job, that’s not always a bad thing.”
“No, not always,” she said. “Maybe I will go and visit the dragons one day.”
“I think they’d like that,” he said, sincerely. “Be sure you bring a lot of sugar cubes.”
She laughed and looked at Parker and Bill. “Is it over?”
“For now,” said Parker. “It’s never truly over. Not as long as men want to kill each other and rule over others. What you did was good.”
“Well, you know,” she laughed. “That IS my job, after all.”
“Job?” said Parker. “What exactly is your job.”
Merlin looked at him and said, “She’s the Negotiator for the Universe. She can go anywhere she’s needed. She’s fast, she can calm situations with her voice and she can fall in love with dragons and demons in one night.”
“Makes us look kind of useless,” said Parker.
“Indeed,” agreed Merlin.
“Is that what you did to me?” asked Parker, staring at her. “Did you calm me and make me fall in love with you?”
“First of all a big NO, since I wasn’t WORKING, and second, you love me?” she asked surprised.
“Uh,” she said. “Don’t you have to go home?”
“I don’t know. You must have something you want to go home to.”
“Not really. I’ll stay here as long as I can, without disintegrating.”
She turned to Merlin. “Can he do that?”
“He can try,” he said, nodding.
“Fine, but no marriage and no real commitment. We’ll stay together as long as it’s fun, or you’re atoms start acting up. Deal?”
“I’d like more than that but I can see that I’m not going to get it. So yes, it’s a deal.”
“I think you’re both crazy,” said Bill walking past them. “Can we go somewhere warm before I freeze to death, PLEASE?”
“Big baby,” snickered Lexi.
“I heard that,” he said.
“You were supposed to.”