I was in Barnes yesterday. As I walked around I kept seeing tables loaded with books for women. Quick summer reads, about women, waiting for, falling for and trying to keep, or let go of men. The books were on racks and on shelves…books all written FOR women. I have never seen a man pick one up and leaf through the pages. Never. I think they would rather die than do that and I pretty much feel the same way.
We wonder why so many people are unhappy, lonely, mismatched and whatever. How can women and men live together when we are constantly bombarded with different messages as to what life is all about? Women’s books are all about love and feelings, care and understanding, regret, forgiveness, family and friends. Men’s books are about conflict, war, espionage, murder, violence, using women, seeing them as disposable objects, unnecessary, and always about success. Their books are about climbing the corporate ladder, solving mysteries, PROTECTING others, being heroes. Their books are about strength, killing, fighting, taking what they want and going through life, being strong. Meanwhile, women are drinking tea, crying over lost love, moving to villas in Spain to begin again, opening bakeries, tracking down clues to their lives from the old letters found in a box under their dead aunt’s ancient bed. Men don’t move away, they don’t track down dead relatives, look for new friends who will understand them, they just get another woman, a corner office and continue to rule the world.
Stacks and stacks of books for women that are about hurt feelings, starting over and opening cupcake shops. Fairy tales for adult women. Men don’t do fairy tales. Men see anything having to do with women as weak and if they took the time to read some of the books on the tables I would agree with them. It’s only in sci-fi, comics or adventure stories where tough females kick ass, save the day and become heroes…books that are on the FANTASY shelves.
We have been taught from birth to go down these different paths. A weak, relationship heavy, path for women and a strong, individual, violent, successful path for men. These ideas have been shoved down our throats from our first breath. Tables and tables filled with book of sadness, misery, whining and heartbreak for females. Joy only comes to them after they open their tiny bistro, or bookshop and the next man walks into the shop and all her new, or old, friends point out that he’s the ‘one.’ Our training and conditioning make absolutely sure that males and females will never understand each other and all the power will be on the side of males. I won’t even go into what’s on the magazine racks.
Men never cry in their books. They never worry about the wedding plans, or if wonder if Susan or Kim is thinking about them. They don’t stay awake at night worrying about what their parents think, where the kids are, or if there are any relationships that need tending. They don’t RUN AWAY and open a hat store, when relationships fall apart. No, not in their books. Never. Men never fall apart. That’s a job for women. Men don’t start over they just get on with life.
The thing is…if we just look, we can see how we have been turned into females and males by our culture. How our likes and dislikes have been shoved down our female and male throats from the beginning. This has been done on purpose. It’s done so that women will never compete against men on a level playing field. They gave us all the “relationship” bits, they isolated us from each other and they stuck us with all the jobs they didn’t want to do. They made us weak and ineffective. They made us servants, sex objects, helpers and people they never want to be. That’s why, “You throw like a girl,” is such a hateful thing to say to any male. No male wants to be compared to a female in any way at all because, truthfully, who would want to be us?
Nothing happens by accident. Women aren’t naturally one way and men another way. We are CONDITIONED to be what we are in every way possible. Think about it. Females aren’t born looking for romance, they are taught that that’s what they should want. Babies don’t crawl to their parents and ask for candlelight dinners and roses. IT’S ALL TAUGHT. The roles we are forced into are so much a part of our culture/daily lives, that girls grow into adulthood and keep reading books that reinforce their socially accepted and often destructive female roles. Have you EVER seen wedding rings on the cover of a book for men? EVER? Relationships are NOT their whole lives, or even a priority. Those things have been forced on us. Getting men who have been socialized to not want relationships…to be happy in them. That’s our job. What a joke. Screw that, as the old saying goes. What a waste of time and of a life.
Anyway, women read about lost and found love and relationships and men read about guns, intelligence, getting the bad guys, and winning. As long as women stay in their assigned roles, we don’t have a chance of changing the world or making things better for ourselves. The violence and hatred against us will continue for generations to come and women will still be reading about love and romance, while it’s happening. Seriously, I don’t get it.
I never wanted to be a princess, I always wanted to be a dark blue/black Pegasus with huge wings, a long fabulous mane and gigantic hooves that could trample anyone who got in my way, so white frilly dresses, crowns and dances at the castle, were not my thing, although I love clothes, fast cars and cool stuff, I never let those things define me. I’m not a fairy tale female (as defined by society), although I do talk to birds and rabbits. And while I don’t sing to them often, when I do, it’s not about an idiot prince finding me. When I sing to the birds and my cat, I sing, I WANT IT ALL by Queen. That’s Pegasus music, for sure. And I’ve never ever wasted one second of my life worrying about any male. Not once.
I can’t read the books I’ve been writing about, they make me want to burn them after the fist or second page, so they can’t influence others. In reality, I know that we all need different things. People who read them can’t understand me anymore than I can understand them. And that’s the way life is….it’s filled with people who can’t understand each other.