What is forgiveness?  Is it telling another person that it was okay to attack you?  Be mean to you?  That you don’t mind that you were kicked around?  That you think being treated like a punching bag, verbal or otherwise, was okay?  That being used, abused, manipulated and mistreated was okay? That you know the person “didn’t mean it,” or “won’t do it again,” so then it’s all fine and let’s have milk and cookies?

What is the acceptable number of times a person should forgive someone for doing the same thing over and over again?  When does hearing someone say they are sorry,  finally lose it’s meaning?  Why do people think forgiveness is such a wonderful thing?  Why do they seem to feel saintly when they forgive someone?  What do people mean when they say, “I forgave but I’ll never forget?”  How does that work?

If mean people are constantly forgiven, where does the payment for doing bad things to others come into play?  When you forgive someone time and time again aren’t you telling that person that you don’t deserve to be treated with respect…that you don’t respect yourself?  Do the people who are loved get more forgiveness than others?  After a person forgives someone, can they look at the person they forgave in the same way, ever again? From little things to big things…where does the person who needs forgiveness pay up?

Everyone screws up, from time to time.  When that happens, we all just let things go but that’s not the same as doing something that needs forgiveness.  Things that need forgiveness things go deeper than the everyday stuff.  Things that need forgiveness cause cuts and scars and long lasting damage.

It is my belief that if people forgave a lot less, people would be better behaved.  Knowing that they will be forgiven allows people to continue to do whatever they like.  Knowing that you will be cut out of someone’s life might make a person think twice about crossing, or hurting someone.  If the payment for hurting someone one is exile, acts take on a different kind of importance.  Because forgiveness is so easily given, it’s basically meaningless.  It’s just one more game being played over and over again where the abuser wins.

Hey, I’m just sayin’.

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4 Responses to Forgivness…

  1. I believe in forgiveness…I don’t believe in forgetting and one can only forgive the same “attack” once…otherwise it is safe to assume the request for forgiveness is insincere.

  2. Wait… i was supposed to get milk and cookies?!

  3. Resa says:

    Here’s my annoyed take, on a specific.
    Many religiously bent people can/will forgive someone who murdered one of their beloved, because god says to forgive. Yet, when a woman gets an abortion, she is a murderer who can never be forgiven, and will go to hell. Hey, is it okay to forgive someone who killed a doctor who performs abortions? Many will forgive that murderer.
    I ask: wherein does forgiveness lie?
    There is no slide ruler for forgiveness. You do, or you don’t. Anything in between is hypocrisy, not religion.

  4. renxkyoko says:

    I agree with you.

    I let inconsiquencial stuff slide, but it’s hard for me to forgive , let alone forget the more significant and hurtful ones. There’s always a scar that reminds us of the pain and hurt that we suffered.

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