Darcy…Short story

“Please believe me when I say that everything I’ve read read about you doesn’t convey the truth of your actual hotness.   Although, Elliot Cowan did a pretty good job playing you in the PBS series Lost in Austen.  Especially in the scene where he’s wearing the white shirt and coming out of the pond.  Love the coat, by the way.”

“I do not know of a PBS, nor have I made the acquaintance of Mr. Cowan.  We have not been formally introduced,” he said bowing.  “Please forgive this outrageous impropriety but I must speak with you.”

“Speak away.”

“What is hotness?”

“It means that you are very good looking.”

“I thank you but I am here to discuss Miss Elizabeth Bennet.”

“She’s very nice.”

“She is headstrong, quick to anger and impossible,” he said, quickly, his hands behind his back.  “Unreasonable, intelligent…”

“And beautiful.”

“Miss Bennet has warned me that if I tell Bingley not marry her sister Jane, due to her lack of money and position, she will never forgive me.  She thinks poorly of me and finds me reprehensible, disappointing and cold and I yet have done nothing to spark her displeasure.”

“Well, you are a bit of a snob and judging love by how much money a person has is just mean. Jane is a lovely person with a good heart.  Bingley loves her and she loves him.  They would love each other if they were both poor because what they have is real.”

“I find your words are offensive and…”

“Sometimes I find my words offensive as well.  We didn’t always speak this way but the things that kept us slightly civilized have fallen away, so we aren’t what we used to be.   No one knows whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing.  It’s a deep philosophical problem or question, depending on how you look at it.  Still, dismissing a woman because she doesn’t have money is cruel and unfair, since she has no way of earning money and must rely on the kindness of men, who can’t actually be trusted and, more often than not, are not kind.  Forced dependency is slavery.”

“I do not understand.”

“I know.  Men still don’t understand and it’s 2017.  Elizabeth is trying to say that love and happiness are more important than money and position.  In future chapters if you tell Bingley, who happens to look up to you, even thought I can’t imagine why, since you’re a bully, but anyway, if you tell him not to marry Jane, he will listen to you and she will be forced to marry a horrific and disgusting man named Mr. Collins, due to the financial situation of her family.  Bingley will never forgive you, for taking away the love of his life and you will destroy two people who could be happy together, until their final breaths.”


“And we all know you’re in love with Elizabeth.  Stop being such  a prig and lighten up.  Let yourself be happy.  Money is important but it’s not everything and you both love each other.  Okay, maybe not right away but you do end up together and you do adore her.

“How do you know all of this?”

“I’ve seen all the films and…”


“Yes, but I’ve never read the whole book because I find it rather boring.  The films are fabulous, however.  I haver several copies of your story, in book form, but having different covers doesn’t change the words inside.  Your story is kind of  slow, you see.  Anyway, it has a very happy ending.   Still, why go through all the parts in the middle?   Just loosen your ascot and take a deep breath?”

“I do not understand the meaning of your words.”

“The rich and powerful often put on airs and treat everyone else carelessly.  You look down upon those around you. Those not born into your situation.  You don’t seem to think most people measure up to your made-up standards but here’s the thing…if you look at if from their point of view, you aren’t actually respected, or even well liked.  You’re all something of a joke.  You preen and prance around but are unable to see the creativity, beauty and talent in those around you.  You are basically blind to a huge part of life.  Elizabeth can help you with that.  She’s kind and loving.  She understands people and she’s not out of touch with an entire reality than you are unable to see.”

“You insult me, madam!”

“I’m sure I do.  I know things are different where you live.  Still, the story of  you and Elizabeth is one of great passion.  Millions of women dream about you and your flapping coat.  Okay, maybe that’s just me with the flapping coat thing, but the rest is real.”

“You confuse me at every turn.”

“It’s simple.  You love Elizabeth.  She loves you, at least she will.  Bingley and Jane belong together.  Your money can’t buy love or happiness but you can have both if you just stop being such a…”

“Yes.  Thank you.”

“Look, I know that I don’t understand how things worked when you were written.  I know you lived by different rules but no matter when a person lives, if he’s lucky enough to find true love he shouldn’t let anything stand in his way.”

“I shall take your advice into consideration.”

“Take this sandwich as well.  The chips too.  Share it with Elizabeth.  She will enjoy the food.”

“You are generous and I thank you.  I will try to overlook some of the things you said.”

“Whatever works,” said Gwen.  “I do have a favor to ask.”

“Ask it.”

“Would you….”

Darcy smiled.

Gwen’s heart sped up, as she watched him walk toward her from across the quad.  His eyes  met hers, a smirk rode his lips, and his coat billowed out behind him in the wind. Gwen didn’t say goodbye.  She couldn’t.  She was far too busy with her thoughts to say a single word.




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