Life and death…yeah…it’s all about that

I don’t get why some people want to live forever no matter what condition they’re in.  I’m not sure if they are just terrified to die or if they love being alive so much that they don’t care if they are already hanging on by a thread, unable to actually participate in life.  I know someone like that.  He has said repeatedly that he doesn’t care if he’s unconscious and being kept alive by machines, he just wants to live…no matter what.  His spouse just cackles and says, “Not a chance.” He means it…so does she.  She is definitely gonna win. He knows that but doesn’t want to believe it.

I mean, come on, even vampires get bored, right?  Plus, getting older has “side effects.”   Sure I could have put on a bathing suit when I was in Hawaii and then had the entire beach to myself, once the people screaming and running away from me were out of sight. A long time ago I loved living in my bathing suit all day, swimming, water skiing, getting tan and everything else but not now.  It’s like that with a lot of things.  Some people don’t mind giving all of that up, they just keep truckin’ and don’t care or seem to notice what’s going on around them.  But that doesn’t work for everyone and the only fish that actually go with the flow are dead fish, so let’s clear that up right away.  Suddenly, tearing off your clothes and having a good time comes to a dead end and you even stop undressing in front of your cat and start reading more.  I didn’t reach that point for a long time but now that I have…yeah, not gonna happen.  I had a good run and I love to read, so I’m set.  Still, being alone and getting older sucks compared to being young and having a blast.  I just stare at people who tell me how wonderful later life is.  I actually got a degree in Gerontology because I was horrified that people GOT old at all.  I was so desperate that I GOT A DEGREE IN SOMETHING I DIDN’T REALLY WANT TO GET A DEGREE IN, just to find out if there was ANYTHING I could do to stop everyone from physically getting older.  It didn’t help.  There were a thousand, THICK books on the bad stuff about aging and a pamphlet or two on the benefits, one of which was,  “Your not dead…yet.”  So, I got another degree that was a lot more useful.  Oh, and don’t take anyone else’s medication. Spouses do that and then the ambulance has to come and it gets really messy.   I knew that BEFORE I went to school but it’s way too late to think about that now.  My minor was philosophy and that was fun because it was something to tear apart…but it didn’t make up for Gerontology…nothing could.

Ya know, it’s not about people dying either.  Like everyone else I’ve had family members and friends die throughout my entire life, so getting older isn’t only about watching those around you cash in their chips. Humans are FATALY FLAWED, we are a truly terrible design.  We’re weak, overflowing with errors and typos and glitches, not to mention being as mad as the Hatter and then some.   So yeah, I’m not on the the side of team “LIVE FOREVER.”  I’m on the side of put the hose on the exhaust pipe, close the garage door, turn up the volume and head for the exit…team.

No one knows what’s on the other side, NO ONE, so don’t bother about religion, those people don’t know anymore than you do and you can stop buying books on life after death cuz if you’re really dead you don’t come back and write books. We do, however,  know what’s here and even the most jaded person might miss something about being alive.  Cats, more cats, books, cats, chocolate, cats, books and of course, your spouse (if you have one), your kids, grandchildren, friends, cats, fast cars, jewelry, family (?), books, tea, art, chocolate, flowers, sun, cool clothes and shades, nests, cookies, swimming, trees, stars, food, chocolate shakes, brownies…well, you know what I mean.  Every list would be different so don’t judge. Sure my daughter and the kids would be the first thing on my list but they haven’t needed me in years.  I raised them to be independent and even though Deb and I are REALLY close, she would be fine without me and probably be sighing over all the stuff she would have to pack up and get rid of once I was gone.  That was the plan all along.  Make them strong and able to stand alone on their own two feet.  There’s a big difference between wanting someone in your life and needing them to be there.  Needing is always a bad thing.  And yes, of course, every list would be different than mine, since we are all different people.  Some may miss those they have met along the way, the community they lived in and things like that…all of us have had different lives and what’s meaningful to one is not necessarily meaningful to another, that’s the way life is.

Sometimes I think we have it backwards.  Perhaps we should mourn the birth of a child because s/he will have to go through life, and all that entails and we should celebrate death because we are being released from this life and it’s war, violence, cruelty, hatefulness, bigotry, racism, sexism and beauty.  It’s just something to think about.   I have noticed that the people who want to live the most are the ones who end up dying first.  I thought I would die before I was 22, because of the way we all drove and the things we did. I never said I wanted to live to be a hundred, or any age at all.  Those who did, are all gone.  I think that means something…but maybe not.  I’m not sure anything means anything.  We just make everything up so we feel better about not being able to control what happens to us. Nothing we believe is real except to us as individuals.  Not a single thing and yet people die for the pretend things they believe in.  If that’s not proof that our species is bonkers I don’t know what is.

Anyway, I’m thinking about throwing my bathing suit away.  Lately, there have only been six nice days in Chicago every year anyway, so I won’t miss it that much.  I guess I could always buy a plastic wading pool and position it on the patio where no one could see me and go blind.  And yes, I’ll make sure Emily isn’t in the yard.  I love that cat and besides, I’m thoughtful that way.  🙂    Hey, I’m just sayin’.

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14 Responses to Life and death…yeah…it’s all about that

  1. Echo says:

    Damn. That was good. Like…I read ALL the words and that’s hard for me (Bc I’m ADHD or something not bc of ppls words btw lol) anyway yeah I loved that and I’m gonna be spinning it around in my brain space for a while but…

    If you really believe everything you just wrote (and I don’t think you’d write things you didn’t stand behind) then why not just wear the damn suit lol. We’re all dying and if ppl are like me they’re also rapidly going blind so if you’re actually that hideous (this part I don’t believe btw sorry lol) then who cares if this dead fkd up world and it’s inhabitants see you briefly? If you want to chill in your swimmers then you should dammit. She said hypocritically bc I haven’t had a suit in ten yrs myself rofl. But you get my point right? I do actually agree with everything else you said tho. I think I like the idea of Buddhism bc they don’t have a god or religion just a way of life. At least that’s what I think I’m never signing up with any labels again so didn’t read extensively on the subject. I am terrified of dying tho. But I think I know why. Any idea what it is about the whole thing that creeps you out? Jw. Love this kind of talk bc of all the many diff views you get from others it’s cool. Yeah physically our design could be better maybe but brains are cool af…right? Anyways. Xoxo

    • Sure, I could wear my bathing suit and no, I’m not hideous…LOLOLOL I love that! And the Tao is actually the only one that doesn’t have a patriarchal hierarchy. Buddhists are still male dominated and have a lot of rules that I don’t like. Besides it was started by Siddhartha, a prince, who left his wife and kids (fortunately he was rich so they wouldn’t starve to death) to sit under a bodhi tree and find enlightenment. He didn’t seem to care what the people he left found. Anyway he was horrified to find out there were poor and suffering people outside the palace walls (how’s that for a sheltered life) so he started walking around gathering MALE followers (who may have also left women and children behind who did starve). Anyway, I don’t like followers and all that male testosterone stuff and for a long time Buddhism was horrible to women and the only true system of ideas that I have found that is fair and lovely is the TAO. It’s wonderful. As for being afraid of death. I’m not. I’ve seen too many people I love die and they were all brave and the alternative was horrifying so there is that. I am afraid of being sick and unable to kill myself but hopefully, that will never happen. I’m so against living if you don’t want to live. Such a truly hateful thing to do to someone. Thank you for your wonderful input.

      • Echo says:

        Yeah ppl always make stuff weird eventually. Trick is to keep yourself outside of it and your senses focused on what YOU know to be true. That’s imho lol. Rofl I know you’re not hideous silly that’s kinda my point. Relax, will ya? Said the hypocrite….I’ll do it if you do it. Lol roll that around in your brains and get back to me :p
        Ok yeah…so much to respond to but it’s good shit so I’m gonna buckle down and make myself sit still lol.
        Far as shirking his real life for a life dedicated to basically just chillin goes…I hate to admit I actually sympathize with Buddha here lol. Bc well…there’s the physical that we all see and agree on. The world. Then there’s the conscience, thought and mental stuff. He was sitting there, mind blown bc he was spoiled and ignorant and my guess is that the only way he felt he could make up for generations of kings before him was to find something he could give ALL of them. Forever. The pursuit of happiness I guess. But…he had to work HARD for the stuff he did teach them. Take my word on that one lol…the realm of the unseen, define it as you will, is lonely. And long and painful and thankless a lot of times haha. I mean you said it too…he taught them some cool stuff,,said do NOT make a god of me….then he comes back and whatd they do lol. You’re right that it’s only gotten worse in some sects…obsessive even it’s so antithetical to the original…but. That’s religion for ya.
        I’m drawn to Tao as well. Glad you brought that up (: idk anything about it. All I know is those Japanese are smart af and at least back then, they knew stuff.
        I’ve definitely wished I would stop living sometimes. Part of that emotional torture of a messenger I guess. But tbh I actually think my first c-section/near death experience is what did it for me. I’m even kinda scared of sleep. Not the girl I was 10yrs ago but who is lol. There are places that are making euthanasia legal now but…if you have someone you love and trust enough…maybe you should talk to em about this. Ppl can be surprisingly cool sometimes. Xoxo

      • The thing is…he left his family and the only reason they didn’t starve was because he was a prince. He just walked out on his responsibilities, which is okay when you live in a world like we do but when you lived when he did…well, women and children died if there was no man to care for them. Poverty was rampant and the men who followed him (if he didn’t want followers why did he take them everywhere he went?) left their families and there was no male to work and find food, well, death was what waited for those left behind. And yes been to a meeting for dying by choice and while some states have passed the law for doctor assisted suicide, which is the dumbest name for something I EVER heard of, it takes a long time to get the paperwork done, you need two physicians and a shrink to say you’re going to die within a certain amt of time and that you are in control of your mind. People die before they can get the help they desperately want. It might be better than nothing but when you’re suffering and there’s no hope all they are doing is covering their ass and making people with no hope AND their families suffer even more. It takes way too long. Months and while people are deciding the person is suffering and knows what he wants to do. Suicide is a lot easier as long as you don’t get stuck in a hospital. Look what they did to Kavrorkian. He tried to help people and died in jail for doing it. All he did was go to a patient’s house and show them what to do. He was a good man who wanted to end suffering. People without hope should be able to die if they want to die. It’s cruel to make people suffer. We don’t let our beloved pets linger but we do for people. I’ve been a member of the Hemlock Society for years and years. Have the books that show you what to do to kill yourself. They changed their name and merged with another group and are working to get the laws changed. And again, if you don’t want followers, you don’t let people follow you. I don’t like them. They’re just like all the male dominated religions/cults. Religion IS a cult. It fits all the criteria, from secrete movements, costumes, membership, rules, etc. I never got the thing about monks walking with their begging bowls either. They meditate and do what they do while poor people in their country work their ass off and they they walk among them expect to be fed when the people can’t even feed themselves. It’s fine to be a monk but get your own food and then pass that out to those who are hungry. They got it backwards. If you want to do good you give not take. There are many other reasons I don’t like them as well. I did write a whole thing about it before. Sigh. I know I see things differently than a lot of people but it’s right there in front of us. Monks don’t have to take care of their kids, work all day, come home to their in-laws (different country) and do all the work the struggling people have to do at home to survive. It doesn’t matter how little people give them it’s just insane to take from poor people who can barely feed themselves. WHY? Why don’t the monks garden and do whatever they have to do to feed everyone else? Oh well. I’m all about the Tao. No one begs in that. No one has followers. Men have no position since there are no positions to hold. Equality, personal power and peaceful view of what is. 🙂

  2. Resa says:

    I hear you! It used to be “burn the bra”. Now it’s “burn the bathing suit”! 😀
    Cats, loved ones, collecting street art that no one can buy, cats, designing gowns that aren’t for sale, pasta etc. and cats.
    I am so lucky.

  3. Ah…I thought you had a creative joy you loved…maybe I was wrong about that.

  4. Great post. You have very similar ideas to me and it’s good to hear them addressed for a change. I am definitely NOT on the ‘live forever’ side, something many people just don’t get.
    Cats and books, I can’t fault you there!! Adore both…
    And as for having it the wrong way round, about celebrating death, I have pondered this muchly myself…..
    Really enjoyed your writing about these ideas, thanks for sharing your thoughts!!

    • I am so grateful for your kind and generous words Thank you. Don’t want to live forever and yes to cats and books. 🙂 Death is part of the future we give to our children and it can happen to them at any age.

      • You are most welcome!
        I don’t get too much time on WP, not as much as I’d like. If I have some time, I try bit by bit to explore the posts of people I feel drawn to and I began to look through yours and found so many posts that resonated with my own feelings and addressing things not so many people discuss, it was really good to read and I still have to get back and read some more! I am glad you shared these so very much.
        I don’t want to live forever either, I think that’s the worst idea ever!! Death is part of life.
        Look forward to reading more.

  5. Thank you so very much. I appreciate your generous words. Thank you again.

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