I don’t get why some people want to live forever no matter what condition they’re in. I’m not sure if they are just terrified to die or if they love being alive so much that they don’t care if they are already hanging on by a thread, unable to actually participate in life. I know someone like that. He has said repeatedly that he doesn’t care if he’s unconscious and being kept alive by machines, he just wants to live…no matter what. His spouse just cackles and says, “Not a chance.” He means it…so does she. She is definitely gonna win. He knows that but doesn’t want to believe it.
I mean, come on, even vampires get bored, right? Plus, getting older has “side effects.” Sure I could have put on a bathing suit when I was in Hawaii and then had the entire beach to myself, once the people screaming and running away from me were out of sight. A long time ago I loved living in my bathing suit all day, swimming, water skiing, getting tan and everything else but not now. It’s like that with a lot of things. Some people don’t mind giving all of that up, they just keep truckin’ and don’t care or seem to notice what’s going on around them. But that doesn’t work for everyone and the only fish that actually go with the flow are dead fish, so let’s clear that up right away. Suddenly, tearing off your clothes and having a good time comes to a dead end and you even stop undressing in front of your cat and start reading more. I didn’t reach that point for a long time but now that I have…yeah, not gonna happen. I had a good run and I love to read, so I’m set. Still, being alone and getting older sucks compared to being young and having a blast. I just stare at people who tell me how wonderful later life is. I actually got a degree in Gerontology because I was horrified that people GOT old at all. I was so desperate that I GOT A DEGREE IN SOMETHING I DIDN’T REALLY WANT TO GET A DEGREE IN, just to find out if there was ANYTHING I could do to stop everyone from physically getting older. It didn’t help. There were a thousand, THICK books on the bad stuff about aging and a pamphlet or two on the benefits, one of which was, “Your not dead…yet.” So, I got another degree that was a lot more useful. Oh, and don’t take anyone else’s medication. Spouses do that and then the ambulance has to come and it gets really messy. I knew that BEFORE I went to school but it’s way too late to think about that now. My minor was philosophy and that was fun because it was something to tear apart…but it didn’t make up for Gerontology…nothing could.
Ya know, it’s not about people dying either. Like everyone else I’ve had family members and friends die throughout my entire life, so getting older isn’t only about watching those around you cash in their chips. Humans are FATALY FLAWED, we are a truly terrible design. We’re weak, overflowing with errors and typos and glitches, not to mention being as mad as the Hatter and then some. So yeah, I’m not on the the side of team “LIVE FOREVER.” I’m on the side of put the hose on the exhaust pipe, close the garage door, turn up the volume and head for the exit…team.
No one knows what’s on the other side, NO ONE, so don’t bother about religion, those people don’t know anymore than you do and you can stop buying books on life after death cuz if you’re really dead you don’t come back and write books. We do, however, know what’s here and even the most jaded person might miss something about being alive. Cats, more cats, books, cats, chocolate, cats, books and of course, your spouse (if you have one), your kids, grandchildren, friends, cats, fast cars, jewelry, family (?), books, tea, art, chocolate, flowers, sun, cool clothes and shades, nests, cookies, swimming, trees, stars, food, chocolate shakes, brownies…well, you know what I mean. Every list would be different so don’t judge. Sure my daughter and the kids would be the first thing on my list but they haven’t needed me in years. I raised them to be independent and even though Deb and I are REALLY close, she would be fine without me and probably be sighing over all the stuff she would have to pack up and get rid of once I was gone. That was the plan all along. Make them strong and able to stand alone on their own two feet. There’s a big difference between wanting someone in your life and needing them to be there. Needing is always a bad thing. And yes, of course, every list would be different than mine, since we are all different people. Some may miss those they have met along the way, the community they lived in and things like that…all of us have had different lives and what’s meaningful to one is not necessarily meaningful to another, that’s the way life is.
Sometimes I think we have it backwards. Perhaps we should mourn the birth of a child because s/he will have to go through life, and all that entails and we should celebrate death because we are being released from this life and it’s war, violence, cruelty, hatefulness, bigotry, racism, sexism and beauty. It’s just something to think about. I have noticed that the people who want to live the most are the ones who end up dying first. I thought I would die before I was 22, because of the way we all drove and the things we did. I never said I wanted to live to be a hundred, or any age at all. Those who did, are all gone. I think that means something…but maybe not. I’m not sure anything means anything. We just make everything up so we feel better about not being able to control what happens to us. Nothing we believe is real except to us as individuals. Not a single thing and yet people die for the pretend things they believe in. If that’s not proof that our species is bonkers I don’t know what is.
Anyway, I’m thinking about throwing my bathing suit away. Lately, there have only been six nice days in Chicago every year anyway, so I won’t miss it that much. I guess I could always buy a plastic wading pool and position it on the patio where no one could see me and go blind. And yes, I’ll make sure Emily isn’t in the yard. I love that cat and besides, I’m thoughtful that way. 🙂 Hey, I’m just sayin’.