“I love fries and malts,” said Zip, happily.
“Me too,” grunted Lucifer, shoving another handful of fries into his mouth.
“Life is hard, you know.”
“It didn’t used to be,” said Lucifer. “In the beginning cavepeople just hung out at the beach and got tan. They didn’t fight, they just enjoyed life.”
“That is SO not true!” said Zip, loudly. “They died from cuts, infections and broken bones. They had to kill animals, some of them really big animals. Then they had to figure out how to eat them and wear their skin and they didn’t even have fire, and a lot of them were NOT living in tropical environments, so they were cold. And, for your information, they killed each other, so there.”
Lucifer laughed. “Good for you,” he said. “I knew you were a smart kid. You’re right, of course. They could barely communicate and they died all the time. Their brains were quite different than yours. Keep in mind that I was there.”
“How did they figure things out?”
“They had help from other life forms and by trial and error.”
“I wouldn’t like that,” said zip, hugging her knees.
“I taught them how do paint on cave walls. I knew you guys would love that stuff, once you found it.”
“You did not,” gasped Zip.
Lucifer laughed. “You’re right. They did that all by themselves.”
“Did angels come here and have sex with human women?”
“Uh, excuse me?”
“Didn’t you hear me?”
“Yes, but that’s quite a question, don’t you think?”
“It’s just a question. I don’t know what quite a question even means. My friend told me that her friend learned that from some religious guy.”
“If you’re too embarrassed to talk about sex, I’ll understand. Some people think it’s a taboo subject, like money and religion. I don’t get that but that’s what I was told.”
“I’m not embarrassed,” said Lucifer, sincerely, “it’s just that you’re a child.”
“Do you know what a ‘junkie” is?”
“Angels are junkies for humans.”
“That’s can’t be good.”
“It’s not. That’s why I’m here.”
“I hate to say it, but if you’re trying to protect us, you’re not doing a very good job.”
“You don’t know what it would be like if I WASN’T here, do you?”
“That’s true. I don’t know what it would be like if you weren’t here.”
“I’ll be right back,” said Lucifer, as he got up and walked toward a woman wearing a blue dress. She had dark hair and looked unhappy. Lucifer talked to her for a few minutes and she started to smile. Then she was laughing and color came into her face. Lucifer bowed and kissed her hand.
“What did you say to her?”
“Well, she was depressed. She doesn’t have a lot of money and she’s been feeling unloved and lonely. She has a poor paying job and she hasn’t had a boyfriend for a very long time because she works a lot, just to pay her rent and buy food. I told her that she was beautiful and that everything thing about her was charming. I said that I knew the man she was going to meet, next week, would be perfect for her.”
“Is that true?”
“I know, right?”
“Why are angels junkines for humans?”
“Humans are animals and they like that. They don’t think you deserve to be treated any differently than you treat the animals around you. Humans do terrible things to animals. Angels do the same thing.”
“So angels are mean and ugly like we are.”
“They are indeed.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Well, we’re all not like that. Why do you think all the stories about me are bad?”
“Because I disagree with them. I think humans are beautiful and should be treated with respect. I don’t think their DNA should be played with and I don’t think their evolution should be forced. I don’t think angels should come here in disguise and torment all of you but that’s what the do. So, they made me look like the terrible one, so they could keep doing what they wanted to do and people would blame me.”
“So like school and the government.”
“Exactly like school and the government but more lethal.”