Girls are trained to put others before themselves, to always do the right thing (usually for someone else’s benefit), to defer to others (males), to be responsible for others (from the beginning girls have more responsibility for siblings and household chores), to always be caring, loving, kind, gentle and giving. No one talks about how those things can ruin the lives of women. Women are workers, caretakers, doers, peacemakers, drivers, cooks, cleaning people, good daughters, wives, mothers and workers. Basically, they are the Swiss Army Knives of life. People think things are better today but all a lot of women have done, is add a career to their “to-do” list. And yes, there will be those who will say, “Oh, I know a woman who does this or that…” because there are always a few who escape but I’m talking about women as a whole…about what is expected of women in general.
Unfortunately, boys are not trained the same way. They get PAID for the work they do. They are not EXPECTED to take care of the kids. People actually say, “My husband is babysitting tonight.” How can he be babysitting when they are HIS kids? When do women babysit for their own kids? Men can choose to do things but women are expected to do everything. If the things women did were appreciated, or admired, then men would be doing them. Oh, wait, when a man DOES do some of those things, he IS admired and gets applause and, “Oh isn’t he a wonderful dad, husband, son, whatever.” See, that’s the thing. Women are expected to do everything and not expect anything in return. Women are simply taught to put themselves second, or third, or fourth, or not at all. They are expected to give up their dreams, desires, needs, wants and dedicate their lives TO OTHERS. Ya know, that doesn’t really work for a LOT of women.
Some men HELP. I love that. It’s her job, so when a guy does something, he’s helping. LOLOLOL Funny, right? But see, that’s the thing. People take these insane sexist roles for granted. They think this is just the way it is, the way it’s always been (gag). Women shouldn’t just get the leftovers. They only got women to do this stuff in the beginning because men wouldn’t let women work, inherit goods/property, go to school, etc. Women were FORCED to get married and do what they were told in order to survive. Sadly, it’s still that way for some women today.
This doesn’t have anything to do with being nice, kind or generous. It doesn’t have anything to do with loving your kids, or your house, or husband. It has to do with being an unpaid, unappreciated, worker who is treated unfairly and unequally and is expected to work for everyone else. Many women actually take care of their husband’s parents (emotionally, when they are sick, remember birthdays, etc.) cuz, well they’re guys and you know, guys just don’t like to do that stuff. LOLOLOL again!
If you don’t teach your daughter a different way of looking at life, she’ll be one of the above. ( If you want her to be like the above well, she’s your kid.) To make a better world for women, teach your sons a new way of looking at things/females, BY EXAMPLE! Point out the inequities in daily life. Make sure both genders understand what’s going on and treat your daughters and sons the same way. This might not help with males because the outside world will teach him the exact opposite of what you are going for, but still, we have to try.
The thing is…life DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. WOMEN SHOULDN’T ALWAYS HAVE TO MAKE INSANE, SELF-SACRIFICING CHOICES (see, now a bunch of women are saying, I wanted to do this, it’s not a sacrifice, I love my kids…but that’s because the guilt and the training run deep and it’s a knee jerk reaction…still they won’t believe that either.) Women shouldn’t be manipulated, and guilted into doing everything for everyone but themselves. Women aren’t BAD because they want a life. Society is BAD for not allowing them to have one that doesn’t play by the rules made up by men.
I hypnotized a room full of well educated women. When everyone was relaxed and in the zone, I said, “Think of something just for yourself. Something you want, something that is solely for you. A wish, a gift for yourself.” Women started crying. Literally, breaking down because no one ever asked them to think about themselves before. Business women, lawyers, crying, shocked, because that was a foreign concept to them. How pathetic is that? Women came up to me afterwards and we talked about what that felt like. How they never realized that they never thought about anything for themselves. Women need to think more about themselves because a FULFILLED WOMAN HAS ALL THE BEST QUALITIES AND SHE CAN PASS THOSE WONDERFUL QUALITIES ON IN ANY NUMBER OF FABULOUS WAYS.
However women choose to live is up to them but the thing is that too often they don’t realize that the choices have all been made for them by the men in our culture. Thinking you’ve made a choice isn’t the same as actually having made one.
Hey, I’m just sayin’.