Art and the philosophy of life

war is hell but…

what some people never think about is that females live in a war zone for their entire lives and the war NEVER ends.  There is no place for females to “return to,” no going “home.”  Home is sometimes the worst hell of all.   It doesn’t matter who you are, where you live or what you have, it only matters that you are female.

I was talking to a vet at the WALL in DC.  I said that if they made a WALL for women who had been killed by men, or women and children who had been tortured, raped  and abused by men, or women and children who had been beaten by men, the wall would never end and you would need artists working 24/7/365  in order to keep adding new names, because the names to be added would never end.

Culture is set up to keep women poor, in charge of and responsible for children, parents, and others.  Women across the world are taught to be polite, to make others feel better and to not fight back, sometimes under threat of legal action.  Women have had their feet bound, their bodies mutilated,  their spirits broken.  We dress in tight clothing and high heels so we can’t run, which makes us easier prey.  We are hobbled in the work place and are not allowed or able to make as much money as we are worth and that leads to dependency, especially when children are involved.

Females, no matter what their age, are blamed for the violence that is done to them, even if they are children because the laws were written to protect men.  Women often feel safer when they are with a man because HE is a warning to other MEN to stay away.

Men can never understand what it’s like to live your life wondering if you should go out, if you should get into the elevator with the man who is already in there, to go to a movie alone…to do anything alone.  Most women don’t even realize that they automatically think of the things around them, as they go through their day, because it’s something they do naturally.

Babies,  toddlers, girls and women are raped on a daily basis by their fathers, step-fathers, their mother’s boyfriends, their brothers and his friends, the neighbors, their teachers, religious leaders, strangers and relatives.  THERE IS NO SAFE PLACE FOR FEMALES!

I was called for jury duty.  A woman had been raped in the bathroom of a building in downtown Chicago.  The female judge asked the prospective jurors if they, or anyone they knew, had been raped.  Every single person raised their hand.  She went through the crowd and asked who had been raped.  After she was finished, she started talking again and, even now my heart is pounding and I’m furious because she NEVER ASKED IF ANY OF THE PEOPLE IN THE CROWD HAD RAPED ANYONE.  Women are raped in stairwells and bathrooms.  Those are two places you never want to get caught alone…ever.   Women are rapped and killed everywhere. There are so many things I could say, so many horror stories to tell.

Females live in a war zone and never forget that.  Never.  And the enemy is everywhere.  And if any men are reading this and saying to themselves, “I would never do that,” well just remember this:  we can’t tell the difference between the good guys and the bad guys and the good guys don’t seem to be doing anything about the bad guys, so everyone is suspect.   The bad guy could turn out to be someone a woman has known for a long time and just decided to attack her.  Because that’s really what it’s all about…a decision.  A man has to decide to be evil…to destroy a child’s innocence, a life.  And that’s what rape and abuse is…the TAKING OF A LIFE.  So next time you see the Viet Nam wall think of the women and children who live in the war zone that you guys call everyday life.

Comments on: "war is hell but…" (13)

  1. Forest So Green said:

    very true and very sad

  2. Thank you too for backing me up. I usually end up standing by myself so thank you.

  3. Please do not think you are standing by yourself if you do not get a reply as your words sink in very deeply. On posts like these that express strong opinions and feelings, there are a lot of silent people who show their agreement with “likes” rather than expressing it in words. I believe your views always stand on the moral high ground and are reflections of the terrible truths you see around you. Do not be disheartened by the lack of response in the comments for your readers are still reading and agreeing with what you say internally, if not visibly in words on the screen.

  4. Have I told you lately that I love you? Your writing is so evocative… I have tears in my eyes and I want to scream! I’m practising my warrior’s yell. You never stand alone lovely 🙂
    I love your idea for a Women and Childrens wall! Sadly it would circle the globe!

  5. I love you too. I’m just getting started and yes, the wall would never end and go on forever. Do yell and scream. But try to do it like a man because, well, you know, you don’t want to scream, like a girl do you? Everything we do is negative. Just part of societies way of keeping us down. Thank you My daughter and I have stood together and each of us alone in places everywhere. We stopped counting on anyone a LONG time ago and just accepted the fact that if we weren’t together we would be standing by ourselves. So I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the things said and I never doubted you for a minute. Not one. xxxoo

  6. hi hitandrun, i wanted to come back to this post, it hit me a little too hard the morning i read it and i needed the emotional dust to settle before commenting. before writing on WP, i began writing on a very popular website, over a million hits a day, and there were many groups and communities i belonged to. one of them was an abuse survivors group, mostly comprised of women whose stories were just heartbreaking, of every imaginable abuse at the hands of men.

    we supported one another by writing about our experiences, how we felt, how it affected us and continued to affect us even decades later. it was one of the most difficult things i’ve done,
    yet the experience of sharing and supporting and speaking our truth, was truly one of the most rewarding things i’ve ever been involved with..

    thank you for speaking this truth, sister, your brother stands with you.

    • Thank you so very, very, much. I can’t possibly tell you how much your words mean to me. I never had a brother…but I do now. Thank you. The stories are indeed horrific and they include infants. Thank you again.

  7. XXXOOOO and thank you.

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